well, it doesn't really bother me. if the member doesn't feel the action was just or whatever, they can explain this and send it in via that anonymus staff evaluation thing Moka put up some time ago (which personally I like the idea of). and, as was said before, they can discuss it via PM with said staff member, or perhaps another staff member if they feel that would be better. as stated it may also misrepresent the situation, and sometimes that's not so obvious to everyone. so no, they may not be able to tell someone is lying or not. there's over a thousand members here, so not every member who happens to pop up around here will be familiar with what the staff would do.
the problem with discussing it in public I see as that it will likely lead to more drama. yeah, you can handle that afterwards, but it would be better to prevent it in the first place to avoid anyone getting in trouble. and if you really feel like talking about it with friends there's always messengers for that. it's not secretive, it's drama prevention. and less drama means a more pleasant community atmosphere. if there's always drama going on and tension between members and staff, other members aren't going to want to be on the site.
now getting punished for simply discussing it in a calm and reasonable manner I wouldn't understand. or simply informing your friends that you were punished for doing something. but being all "I just did this, it's not anything that major. it was so unfair" I would understand them getting like a warning for that. it's pretty rude. like whispering to a person's friends about them in the back for the room while the person in question is up front. and generally all it does is make other members not like the person who carried out the action, and possibly continue on telling their friends how they don't like them. sometimes, it may actually be unfair. but you should discuss it with the staff and get it sorted out, not complain to your friends. I'm not talking about anyone in general, just using an example. actually, I can't think of witnessing anything like this before, I'm usually out of drama.
and technically, websites kinda are dictatorships lol. well, usually more monarchy than dictatorship, but you get the picture. it's Moka's site, he can do what he wants with it since he's the one who's paid for it, designed it, and coded it. he set up rules and decided to enforce him as he chooses. what we are allowed to do on this site are privileges. if a member doesn't like how things are ran, all they have to do is go somewhere they like better. personally, I think we're allowed plenty of expression, and the rules are reasonable. granted, I haven't been around so much in a long while to know how things have been around here, but I don't see where the staff have been controlling and oppressive anywhere.