Two Flowers - Original Poem

[Moka]

I was just a lad - before the sun
Had risen, or the day begun -
That I had seen a moonlit meadow,
And being that sort of fellow,
I came to view the mystic scene.

I could not help but touch the buds
That glistened before the dew.
Not satisfied I was, until -
I knew the buds would bloom -
Before me stood two flowers.

Not quite flowers - still in bud -
Yet favored them I did and so -
I picked the first from root did grow.
She was but a daisy, but glad -
Mine eyes did catch the second.

A rose - new from the bush -
And my heart did fill with glee -
For my beloved lass I see -
Would accept it with a grin,
And forgive a young lad's sins.

But Oh! - How could I forget!
When plucked by the stem - a rose -
Will not kindly by the thorn.
So careful did I pick - or rather.
She picked me.

So night subsides to day -
And cheerful I would be -
But my flowers picked show
none but buds - and our
Fates are one, the same.

----

Critique welcomed.
Yes, Dickinson is my favorite poet.

[Panda-chan]

Wait.... did YOU write this?! OMG it's AMAZING Moka!!! O.O
And I love Emily Dickinson's poems too. Good job.

[Mike]

man, who opened the floodgates for emo-poetry? That's three in like as many hours ^.^

Yours is pretty terrific though Moka Definitely worth the attention you payed to actual rhyme and rythm rather than me just throwing in a repetition of the same sentence structure. You have either a very clever and intricate rhyming system, or no system at all. Either way it's very impressive to read lol.

[Moka]

Yes Amanda, I wrote it. Although it's about 3 years old now. Mike-> I got motivated to post it after I saw the other poem xD

I consider this poem my best, although many of my past poetry teachers would despise it. There is no motivation given from academics to write poetry.. Like you said Mike, it's got an abstract system. Heavily inspired by the way Emily writes.

Thanks for your comments :]

[Cdot]

That is a very beautiful poem Moka