What's your opinion on online relationships?

[ScarsLove]

I wasn't sure where to put this so I think I'll put it here for now. Anyways me and my one friend were discussing this because she wants to get in an online/long distant relationship with this guys she's been talking to. I told her my opinion and now I would like to know what your opinions are about this.

Personally, I think it's a tricky path to tread. It's delusional for people to just meet people online, just assume they're telling the truth and be inlove with them. You don't know if that person is who they are because people can become whatever they want to be online. A 50 year old pervert could pretend to be a muscular 19 year old with a fantastic job and lure people in. The internet can be a wonderful place and then again it can be a horrible place. From my point of view, if you want to pursue an online relationship do it with someone who you've talked to for a long time and know what they look like ( just to make sure they aren't actually a pervert and don't you think that their true colors/intentions would've shown by now after several months, years of talking ).

But even then online relationships can spiral out of control because either person on both ends could cheat with someone irl without the significant other knowing and/or ever finding out. Also how do you know that your partner is telling the complete truth? While people can lie irl and hide it well, hiding it over the internet would be considerably easier. Now I'm not saying that online relationships fail completely because I've seen my fair share of people successfully turn their online relationship into a long distance relationship and then move onto marriage. Hell, one of my mothers friends met her husband from another country over the computer and they've been happily married for several years.

Now that you've read my two cents ( I'm assuming you did ) what's your opinion?

[Regulus]

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/20 ... 125144.htm

I'm not exactly sure how accurate any statistics are, but it's an interesting read nevertheless.

Really, online dating is hardly any different from any other form of dating.

When you sign up for a dating site, you're probably going to lie about a bunch of things on your profile to make yourself seem better than you really are.

If you go to a club or a bar trying to pick up women, you're going to do the same thing. One of my cousins drove his brother's (considerably nicer) car to a date, and lied about it being his to make himself seem more affluent. It amuses me that everyone seems to think that is okay. Everything is always about trying to make a good first impression, and that's exactly why most relationships don't last.

It makes no sense to me. Dating, online or offline, is basically the epitome of a relationship, and it revolves around nothing but lies to temporarily impress another person.

What sort of relationship is built around a nest of lies anyway? If a relationship is worth my time, then it must also be worth my honesty as well, regardless of whether I've met the person in real life or not. And with that thought, I rest my case.

[UncoordinatedPisces]

For someone who's been in two, my view has turned more negative now. Partly because it didn't go well for me and partly because I see the errors of my ways.

Please be careful about who you talk to and please make sure you know the whole truth, because if you find out something awful about the person it can really upset you.

[quote="DatLioness"]because either person on the other side could cheat with somekne irl [/quote] Or simply forget about the relationship they are already in on the internet

I believe they can work out though, its just gotta be a honest, loving relationship.

[InsaneSeagull]

Even though, I love online friendships and really believe they can be true... I don't share the same opinion concerning relationships. It's just too much. As someone of you said, person can cheat you IRL for months, and that you know nothing about it. And once (if) you find out, you'll feel extremely hurt. I don't say those relationships are impossible - because they definitely are. Many people manage to last very long like it, even get married and live happily someday. I just don't say those are easy. And I don't say I'd ever manage to do it. Pretty much the same as for distant relationships, the two MUST know each other very well and must trust each other completely. Which, of course, isn't very likely. Because, everyone, even not in purpose, wants to express himself in the best way and often lies about something. Even the smallest thing. Or simply, hides something from his past that makes him embarrassed. Of course, this happens in "normal" relationships as well, but, when you are close to someone, it isn't that important. And, one more thing, what is relationship without physical contact?

There is something good I see in this kind of relationship, anyway. When two are so far apart, they often think about each other and, actually, want to be together. When people are too often together, they usually get enough of each other soon. That is maybe why online relationships last longer.

[Shadowfax]

I can put my two cents in here with regards to long distance relationships as I was in one once. Needless to say, it did not work out. I find with long distance relationships, one or the other seems to be very clingy and in my experience wants to rush things once they meet up. I met up with my ex three times in the space of three months and he told me he loved me after two months which freaked me out somewhat and when he came over to mine, there were certainly other intentions on his mind. So he was dumped rather swiftly after that.

I have two friends who have met their long term partners online and it's going well for them after five and two years. One is now engaged and the other is coming to the UK in the summer to be with her partner. They all met over the internet, but never made any sort of advances towards a relationship till they'd met the person. IMO that's the sensible thing to do. I think you should only get into a relationship if you have met that person IRL as like you say, one of them could be lying.

In this case, i think your friend should meet the person before going into a relationship or even considering. Alot of people i've met off the internet turn out to be totally different to what I am used to online so her opinion might change when she meets him which could cause problems later on down the line if she were to be in a relationship with them.

Internet relationships are a nice idea, but they arn't really practical unless you are willing to meet them before hand and accept it'll never work out like a normal relationship will if you mainly communicate via online.

[Regulus]

I guess the point I was trying to make is that if you're looking for a relationship, be it online or offline, you're probably going to have a bad time. My point of view is that all relationships can be dangerous, and it's best to just let things happen. A relationship should not define a person, but a person should define a relationship, if that makes sense.

Perhaps the observation that people act different when they're in a relationship is what I meant. It's like something happens, and all rational thought goes completely down the drain. It's the idea that, 'I have a BF/GF now, so I have to do x, y and z.'

My answer is that no, you don't. If you really had someone that likes you, you wouldn't have to do a darn thing out of character because they'd like you for who you are despite your flaws.

And as such, most relationships, in essence, are flawed literally from the very beginning.

Basically, for a relationship to work, you need to know the person first. Chances are, that isn't going to happen if the status of the relationship is already declared, whether it starts online or not. If the person does not see you as a potential mate, I think it stands to reason that you're going to have a much better idea of who they truly are.

[SlayerOfLight]

I really think internet relationships are too limited, and therefore, are just an illusion. Not saying being friends with someone on the internet is impossible, but still, they're not as trustworthy like real life friends who you personally know and where they live, etc.

[Woeler]

You can use the internet to FIND a person to have a relationship with. But maintaining a serious relationship over the internet only? That's hardly a relationship at all.

Btw, why is this not in the personal issues section?

[AdAstrα]

I don't really have an opinion on this to be honest...I mean, obviously it's worked for some people. I agree with what Woeler said about the Internet being a good place to meet people to get to know better & potentially falling in love with, but as for actually maintaining an online relationship without EVER meeting IRL...that would be incredibly difficult for me at least. I just can't imagine how it'd work. I've never been in a serious relationship myself because unlike most people my age I'm waiting for "the one", so I don't have a lot of experience with these things, lol....but surely the physical aspect of it all is also kind of...important? You can't hug someone through a computer screen.

[ScarsLove]

[quote="Woeler"]You can use the internet to FIND a person to have a relationship with. But maintaining a serious relationship over the internet only? That's hardly a relationship at all.

Btw, why is this not in the personal issues section?[/quote]


Because it's not a personal issue for me because I don't think I would ever get into an online relationship unless I really liked that person and trusted them 100%. I was just curious to see what the community thought about this because my friend is getting involved with an online relationship. I also like seeing what other people think.