The Legend Of The Shadow

[CommandoTheLion]

Cant wait for more.

[KingKivuli]

Scar's wake up call

A new day dawned upon the Pridelands. Scar was already on the prowl, after the disgrace he was given yesterday with Kokota and Ashur, he needed to restore his status among the lionesses as soon as he could. The tyrant king made his way out of the den and over to the lionesses. He didn't let them sleep inside. In his eyes they did not deserve it. As Scar arrived at the lionesses sleep ground below the peak of Priderock, to his delight they were already waking up 'SARABI! SARAFINA!' The lionesses heeded the call and made their way through the waking mass of fur to meet with the king

'Both of you take your hunting parties out and search the entire pridelands for food, the hyenas and I are beginning to get restless' Both Sarabi and Sarafina gave each other a concerned look. Sarafina stepped forward and spoke 'Scar where would you have us look, there is nothing its completely barren round here now' Scar responded by smacking Sarafina down to the floor. She was a tough lioness and managed to regain her feet easy enough 'Never speak to me in that manner again, you have your orders now move it' snarled Scar before he walked back off into the den

While Sarabi comforted Sarafina, Kokota and Ashur came down to greet them both. After a good nights rest the pair of lions were back on form 'Are you two ok?' inquired Kokota 'We saw what happened. I'm sick of him smacking us around like we are just toys' Sarabi looked up towards the den entrance where Scar lay in waiting 'We are fine but as Kivuli said, this must end now. Speaking of which did he return?' Sarabi had hoped that in the night Kivuli had returned home to safety 'No he didn't return last night he must still be at the graveyard' replied Ashur. Sarabi sighed, she wondered if Kivuli was ok. It was dangerous to stay out in the graveyard alone especially at night

'Would you both mind going to check on him please, I fear for him' Sarabi's voice was over come with worry. Ashur and Kokota nodded in agreement 'Thank you both. We better get going before Scar gets his hunger pains again. Take care both of you' Sarabi said 'Don't worry Sarabi we will find him and bring him home safe' added Kokota. The four felines parted their separate ways in pairs. The hunting parties made their way into the dead lands to search for food while Ashur and Kokota headed to the graveyard. Once they were out of hearing range Ashur spoke up 'What do you think Kivuli has been up to all this time? Why didn't he return?' Kokota thought for a moment considering the possibilities 'I think hes been training, you saw him yesterday and heard what Sarabi said about our mother. However we will only know when we get there' The two lions just continued to walk on towards the graveyard and Kivuli

[Mike]

Great section. Honestly a great section. The problem is that the battle in the previous section completely undermines it in my opinion :S The day before, not only the two lions, but most of the lionesses were on the point of attacking Scar, and he only escaped by retreating. Then today it's like that never happened, with Sarabi and Sarafina taking their lumps like usual, and Kokota and Ashur were quietly spectating. This scene would have worked perfectly if it had happened before the previous post, and if I were you I'd see if I could change up the order, maybe having this scene happen last night, and the battle scene ending with Kokatoa and Ashur leaving, beaten, but also leaving a weakened Scar behind them, to find Kivuli who will be able to come in and save the day.

[KingKivuli]

i know there is errors and mistakes etc but i know where i want this to go lol. maybe I should go back and edit the previous post a little

[Mike]

I hope you understand where I'm coming from =) Both posts are excellent, I just think the order is off. It feels like you've gone back in time to a place where Scar still had the lions crushed under his paws, whereas the previous post shows them rebelling. Rebellion should come after submission.

[KingKivuli]

there i edited the last post. I brought the hyenas in which had a knock on effect and settled the lionesses back down

[Mike]

good solution!

[KingKivuli]

thanks . why do i get the feeling people are eager to see what happens next? i can sense people thinking 'omg what happened to kivuli?!' lol

[CommandoTheLion]

i love your story xD

[KiarasMate]

Another great part to your story here KK. ^^ A tad bit short on events for me but still, awesome nonetheless. Yes, I'm curious to know what happened to Kivuli, so don't keep us waiting! lol.