The Legend Of The Shadow

[KingKivuli]

Desert Oasis

It was midday. Kivuli could feel the heat slightly on his back, yet the rest of him remained cool. Stirring he slowly opened his eyes, blurry at first it took a good few minutes for him to focus. Finally his sight returned as good as ever. He was in a cave, a fairly large one with the entrance letting in the days sunlight. He observed the surroundings, the cave was full of different herbs and flowers along the sides. The main item that caught his nose as well has his sight was a large chunk of meat. The smell was like a drugs, teasing him to eat, but he decided against it. This was some ones home and therefore some ones food

He rose, still feeling exhausted from and pain from the extreme running, but it was not as bad as before. The last few days were a blurr, not remembering much if anything at all. His last memory was passing out in the desert, which begged the question, how long had he been out of it. Kivuli turned to the entrance to leave but was instantly greeted by a older lioness. Kivuli took her in. About his size, cream and white body, blue eyes and a black diamond fur patch on her head. She smiled at him and walked in

I wouldn't try leaving if I were you, your no where near healed yet. Even though you are much better already then when you were brought to me Kivuli watched as she paced round, checking all the herbs that covered the place. Kivuli's mind was full of questions and thought no harm in asking this seemingly wise lioness Who are you? Where am I and how did I get here? The lioness smiled and came face to face with him Straight to the point. I can do that. I'm Skyra healer of this small pride. You are in a desert Oasis, a couple of our males found you not to far from here passed out so they brought you to me. You were a mess. So patched you up, gave you a bath. You have been out of it for a good two days

Kivuli looked stunned for a minute, he had no memory of it, but somehow knew it was the truth. Kivuli smiled and began to head out My name is Kivuli. Thank you for everything Skyra, I will trouble you no further and take my leave She stuck a paw up to stop him Your body needs rest and you need food, you stomach has not shut up since you got here. Eat that meat over there, it was brought for you anyway Kivuli glanced over at it licking his lips.. He pounced sinking his teeth in and taking a good bite out of it Thank you He blurred out before starting his meal

She smiled and left the cave leaving him too it. Kivuli barely noticed, right now his only thought was ending the hunger. With the meal rightly devoured he turned round to see Skyra, this time with two males I thought you might want to meet the guys that saved you she spoke This is Anga and Zane, I guess you could call the guardians of the pride Zane stepped forward towards the young male Good to see you on your feet, you had us worried for a while Kivuli recognised the voice the same strong voice that he heard in the desert I know you, the two lions out in the desert, you picked me up. I can't remember the rest

Zane and Anga began to head out. Anga looked back over at Kivuli Come on you look like you could use a good drink Kivuli nodded and made his way out Thank you Skyra I owe you Outside Kivuli saw the full extent of the pride. Skyra was right the pride was small no more than ten. In front of him was a small water spring surrounded with a bit of grass and palm trees under the palms were a few small holes in the ground and leading to larger caverns. Kivuli looked behind greeted by a rock face , with a few more caves at the bottom to make dens. All in all a nice little oasis

Kivuli padded forward to the spring to take a drink. It tasted so fresh, like it was blessed by the great kings or something. Mind you it had been a while since his last drink and the heat of the desert would not have helped matters any. Kivuli raised his head to the sound of paws coming is way. It was Zane It's best you stay here tonight, you are no where near healed and you need food. We are eating tonight round this spring you are free to join us Kivuli gave a thankful nod, before Zane took his leave.

For the rest of the day Kivuli looked round a bit, apart from this Oasis there wasn't much around but this area was interesting enough. This small pride really knew how to take care of themselves. Everyone kept to themselves but looked out for each other, and they were organised. Skyra was the healer and her den was neatly piled with herbs and at the opposite side was another cave with a few dead carcasses inside. This was food storage. A meal was hard to come by in the desert so making use of what you had was important and this pride knew it

Before long night was falling as well as the temperature. It wasn't so bad though enough to keep moving round comfortably. The pride had gathered round the water as Zane had mentioned. Kivuli felt a little out of place but managed to find a small spot to sit between Anga and Skyra. Looking around he saw that the pride was..... mismatched, there was no way anyone was family of another, save one of the cubs running around. There also seemed to be a distinct lack of a King figure. Besides himself Anga and Zane there were only two other males and they were younger than he was. Did this place even have a king?

As everyone finished gathering it was Skyra that stood up and spoke out to the pride My friends as you may have noticed, we have a visitor to our little home, Kivuli She indicated to the young male. Kivuli bowed his head in greeting, and the pride returned the bow in response. Skyra continued on Kivuli if you are ok with it, we would like to hear where you come from and what brought you here. We all know each others story and are a close community Kivuli smiled up at the older lioness Gladly but if I may ask a few things first? Skyra just nodded allow Kivuli to continue I've noticed that no one here seems to be part of a family, your all so different, like you not actually a pride at all yet you are, and even then there seems to be a lack of a king so.... what's up with that?

It was Anga who stood up to answer Your right Kivuli, is not a real pride. We are what's known out here as a rogue or wilderness pride. We have real place to call home. We have all either left, kicked out or abandoned for whatever reasons. We are not the only ones however. Go anywhere and you will find small gatherings of rogues in useful spots such as here. Anyone may come and go as they please, we have no set laws on anything As for leader it is generally who as stayed in one place the longest. Here that is mea and Zane, however since Skyra joined us her skill in medicine was greatly valued and the current occupants felt she should lead. That was five months ago

Kivuli was Listening with curiosity. If these places existed everywhere, they might be handy on his journey if he needed respite. Anga sat down and attention turned back to Skyra I hope we gave as good as answer as you were hoping Kivuli. If you are ok with it, can you tell us your story? Kivuli took a dee breath and began to speak. He first opted to lie, but what purpose would that serve? So he told the truth, the whole truth, all the way back from the stories of Mufasa's death, Simba's exile, Scars rule, the rebellion, Simba's return, his own exile, his love and how he left with his reasons. He missed not one bit of detail hoping to keep everyone interested

Once Kivuli had finished he looked round once more. Apart from Anga Zane and Skyra everyone looked shocked. Kivuli imagined the three elders had been through hard times themselves and took it as no surprise. Skyra came over to Kivuli and gave a caring nuzzle I'm sorry for you hardships Kivuli we all are. Know that if you wish you can stay here or always return if needs be Kivuli cracked a smile not something he had done much recently It's been a long night I suggest we all take our bite to eat and head to sleep. Kivuli is welcome to stay in my den for the night Announced Skyra. Without another word everyone ate. Each feline had a chunk of meat to devour and all took a fresh drink before going off to bed. As Kivuli lay there curled in Skyra's cave his mind wondered. Should he stay? or go?

[AustralianChaos]

Another great chapter...and finally a bit of peace for Kivuli!

How long will that last, though? In any case, well done as always, can't wait to find out more!

[xLilacVixenx]

Lilac Vixen's Fan-Fiction Review

{As judged by first two chapters}

Story Plot/Idea Rating: 10/10

Quite an interesting plot that kind of gets you at the edge of your seat. It is very well thought out and brilliant in this case. Well done!

Punctuation Rating: 7/10

I'm afraid I saw quite a few punctuation errors in at least the first two chapters. Remember, whenever somebody directly speaks to another, use a comma. {i.e: "Can you help me, Kovu?"} Also, if you are speaking and it is not using a narrative, remember to use the " symbol instead of the ' symbol. {i.e "Then, Kovu said, 'I want to catch a zebra!'" | "Might I play outside?"}

Grammer Rating: 9/10

A few mistakes here and there, especially in the second chapter. None are too big, but you should always read your story at least two times aloud to yourself before submiting. (:

Spelling Rating: 8/10

The first chapter did not have very many spelling errors, I am happy to say, but I think you could have worked a little harder on the second chapter. I found countless errors for this chapter and I know you can do a lot better. (: As I informed FlipMode, Microsoft Word is an excellent program if you need to check your spelling errors.

Layout Rating: 9/10

This layout was almost perfect, except for one minor flaw...some of the lines indented in the middle of a sentence! As I said, you need to check over your work, my friend, lol.

My Opinion:

I would have the pleasure to continue this story; it seems very interesting and the plot is spectacular. I am sorry to say I would have enjoyed the first part more if you checked over it, but regardless of that, it is brilliant! Kivuli is an interesting name that sounds both beautiful and yet evil. His personality reminds me a lot of Kovu. ^^ Adore your work, KingKivuli!

Overall Rating: 9/10 {As judged by above ratings}

[KingKivuli]

The Decision

For the next couple of days, Kivuli stayed with the desert pride. He was given a small den next to Skyra's to call his own and joined the pride hunts for food as a look out. He was starting to lead a good life. A bit odd but good, as he still wondered should he leave? In this pride he could have a life as another guardian, maybe even find a mate if others came and went all the time. There were so many reasons for and against leaving, but he needed to decide by nightfall when another pride dinner was in session

Thank fully the day had been calm with no hunting or duties to be done, just perfect for the thinking Kivuli needed. He found a way up the rock face that made Skyra's den and lay at the highest point looking over at the mountains once more. How much further was it? What would he find there? And the most annoying question in his mind was how well could he train. The peace of this pride made him forget home but in solitude Kivuli remembered why he left in the first place. Kivuli remained on the rock till the evening, contemplating his life

As the sun started to set, the pride gathered once more, taking their usual spots. Kivuli looked round to find another male had joined the group. He was fully grown, with orange and cream fur with a yellow mane and green eyes. He looked mad at something, great kings only know what. The pride settled down and Skyra rose to speak. As you all can see we have another new guest to our pride, however he does not wish to speak about who he is or give his name. This does not mean we treat him different, he is a part of this pride so treat him as you would treat each each other

The new lion was glaring over in Kivuli's direction, the young black lion glared right back. There was something about this stranger that didn't sit right. Kivuli felt the need for battle as he gazed into those deep green eyes, the male did not seem overly friendly. Skyra continued talking on but both of the males were so focussed on each other that her words went in one side and out the other. Anga sharply noticed the tension and nudged Kivuli, who broke out of the gaze Don't be starting trouble Kivuli, take it else where Anga whispered

Looking back at the male, Kivuli saw he had stopped looking too and was listening to Skyra. Once she had finished Kivuli stood up himself to speak I know my time here has not been long, and I owe thanks to all of you, especially Anga, Zane, and Skyra, but I have made a decision The pride looked on intently, some of them muttered at what Kivuli was going to do I am going to leave, continuing my journey, to train and return home to settle the score. I know this might not seem like the safest or wisest path to take in my life but its the one I choose and I shall follow it tonight under the cool breeze of this deserts night

Skyra smiled and stood up to join Kivuli and gave him a friendly nuzzle I should have known you wouldn't stay. I am sad to see you go but your life is your own, please eat up and leave when you are ready Kivuli nodded and sat back down, a signal for the pride to eat their dinner. It was clear that a good few didn't want to lose their new friend, as they were eating slowly. However the meat eventually ran out. When everyone was finished there was a deadly silence as all eyes were on Kivuli.

He rose once again, looking out to everyone and uttered the words Thank you, all of you, I will not forget this place He began to walk out when Skyra stopped him Just remember, you do have a home here Kivuli He smiled at her and continued walking, once a fair distance away his run began again, and from behind he heard the pride roar a farewell as Kivuli ran forward chasing the night

[Eli_Ayase]

How faun it was to read ^^. Great story so far Kivuli.

[KingKivuli]

Be ye friend or foe?

As the days rolled by Kivuli's journey was swift, the rest at the desert pride restored his strength, and the lack of sandstorms made the trip even smoother. On the forth day, Kivuli was finally greeted by a change of scene. A jungle. His spirit was lifted, if there was a jungle here that meant food, water and shelter. He slowed his pace, there was no need to rush. His time with Skyra taught him much, as he walked forward he remembered a conversation:

Kivuli walked into Skyra's den and greeted with a bow You wished to see me? He asked Yes Kivuli, please have a seat Both lions sat down opposite each other, a calm but seriously look washed over Skyra's face Why are you here Kivuli? Why must you be in such a hurry? The young lion looked up, his memories filling his rage again I have to train, I have to get my revenge Skyra could see Kivuli was getting fueled, she walked over, jabbed a point in his back, which caused Kivuli to instantly collapse What the hell was that!? He yelled. Skyra lay down looking deep into his eyes I understand you want for revenge but rushing it will not bring it about. Will it make a difference If you taken it 2 years from now or 5? Take your time, clear your head and you will know what you have to do

Her word rang in his mind. She was right. There was no rush, taking things calm and relaxing was just as important as, training and exercise. His ordered rest proved that. Kivuli felt stronger from all the running and now it had settled. A cool breeze picked up, cooling his whole body, as he reached the edge of the jungle. He looked inside. The under bush was nicely dense, an ideal training place and high chance of finding a secure sleeping spot

He stepped in, instantly met a a much cooler atmosphere. Kivuli's first priority was to find water, he had already gone a good few days without any. Not seeing any in current area he walked on, although unknown to him, he was being watched, up in the canopy, 2 sets of eyes glared down on him, following him along the small trail in the jungle. Eventually after about an hours search Kivuli found a small river. Sliding down its banks he plunged his head into the water to gulp it up

Meanwhile behind him the two stalkers were ready to strike, they waited for the right moment. Kivuli was taking his time drinking, it was several minutes before he emerged back up from the river, instantly a scent caught his nose, and he went on guard. Knowing their chance was up on of the figure leapt out, striking straight at Kivuli

[KingKivuli]

Common Ground

Kivuli tensed for a moment, his memory slipping back to his training in the graveyard, the simple task of dodging flying bones, this was no different, the attacker nothing more than a large bone. With one quick move Kivuli, swerved sideways, raising his paw pushing the attacker down to the floor. Not a moment later the second unknown began to strike. This time Kivuli ducked, waiting until his foe was above then lurched up fast slamming from below. His enemy tumbled into the river. Kivuli backed up taking his stance ready to go again

As the two attackers rallied up, Kivuli was a bout to strike when the smaller of the two yelled Stop, we dont want an all out fight, we were only defending our home Kivuli looked at them both for a moment. The first attacker was a cheetah, slim lean body, a bit smaller than himself, amber eyes and a few scratches across his body. The second was another lion. Like Kivuli though, a rather strange colour, his fur was a mix of medium and light blues, his eyes matched, one navy, one as blue as the sky. He was Kivuli's height and roughly the same age. After analysing them, Kivuli let up and stood normal towards them, yet his mind was on guard

The lion stepped forward Thanks, most who come here are scared off by our attacks, guess everything doesn't always work huh? By the way I'm Ajani and this is Darius The cheetah bowed his head in greeting, Kivuli responded and looked back to the Ajani Your lucky im not in a bad mood, you both have speed but, no were near the strength to take me on Ajani blushed and raised his paw to scratch his head Er...yeah... we dont really fight, mostly just chill out and relax, defend our home when we have to

Kivuli observed the surroundings, besides the river, the under bush was still heavy full of plants and rocks, thick and hard to navigate. Then above most of the trees stretched way up almost seeming to touch the sky itself What kind of home can this be? No routes no dens, no clear food how do they live? These were the questions now plaguing Kivuli's mind You call it a home? No offence but... doesn't look much Darius laughed at the statement Never judge before you see, this is just cover you have no idea, come on we will show you

With that Ajani and Darius lead Kivuli through the bush, for several minutes they marched on through but it only seemed to get thicker and thicker as time went on finally, Kivuli was reaching the end of his patience OK this is stupid where the hell are you... His words were cut off as he emerged from the bush on the edge of a small cliff. To his right was a towering waterfall gushing over the edge of a taller cliff, and falling into the pool below. The water was so clear he could see the bottom

Looking round Kivuli took in all the sights. The pool leaded off to another river to his left, through a gorge. Infront at the same level as the pool was a large open grass field with a few large rocks scattered about before more of the canopy jungle. It was breath taking. Kivuli had never seen such a sight, and to finish it off, in the distance behind the waterfall, was his goal. The mountains, looking closer than ever before. This place was a paradise, even giving the pridelands a run of its money

So... not to shabby huh? We got a den behind the fall come on I'll show you With that Ajani jumped off the side, diving into the pool. Kivuli looked bewildered and horrified looking over the edge, Ajani was fine swimming in depths to the cave After you Indicated Darius Er.....yeah... erm... I dont swim, I can't swim Kivuli look embarrassed by this statement and saw Darius give a lone sigh Guess its the long way then come on Darius lead Kivuli down a winding path along the cliff and across the rocks at the bottom of the pool which lead into the cave itself. Once inside Kivuli felt secure once more

Ajani jumped up with a smile on his face About time, i've been bored stiff Kivuli let out a tiny growl before Darius interupted Leave him be Ajani, he doesn't know how to swim like us Instantly Ajani looked at Kivuli apologetically Oh jeez, sorry didn't know. Well we will help you with that. By the way, Whats your name? Kivuli responded and the trio lay down discussing their separate lives. Much to Kivuli's surprise their stories were just as tragic with the loss of parents and banishment. Ajani was kicked out cause he looked too 'different' and Darius for not being the fastest

They continued on how, both had met several months ago and explored the lands trying to find someone to accept them or a way to go home. Yet when they found the jungle the didnt wish to leave. It became their new home away from everything and free to do as they please. Kivuli could see how it appealed, a life with no restrictions no rules or laws, and to top it off it was a stunningly beautiful place. Once again the question ran in his head, if he should stay and make a life or continue on his journey and find revenge, back home, back in the Pridelands

[Ushujaa]

Hey KK, i was reading a little bit of your story, and let me just say this, from when you first started writing back in 2009 you've improved more then ten fold. I want to finish reading this but don't have the time to right now. I will finish reading it later and leave a few more comments. I hope you will continue

[Arani]

I just finished reading the whole thing... and I have to say I fully enjoyed it!

so far you've captured Kivuli perfectly. His emotions, thoughts, and actions were all first rate. And most importantly, you stated why he is acting in these ways. It's very interesting to see how much you've progressed since the beginning of the story to now. This has been a great read so far and I eagerly await the rest!