Favorite TV Show Quotes

[KopsTheTerminator]

Principal Victoria: Thank you for coming, everyone. Boys, please take a seat.
Stan: What's going on? Are we in trouble?
Principal Victoria: Boys, the reason we called you all in is because one of your friends has a serious illness. Eric Cartman has been diagnosed with HIV.
Stan: What??
Butters: Oh no...
Doctor: He's been to several specialists since a botched blood transfusion. The disease is in the very early stages and completely manageable. But he's naturally a bit scared.
Kyle: ...Cartman has HIV?
Doctor: We need everyone to understand that you can't get the virus from Eric. You can still give him hugs and even kisses. Don't be afraid of him, just-
Kyle: ..excuse me: Eric Cartman has HIV?
Principal Victoria: Alright, we're gonna bring Eric in now, and let's all be as supportive as we can and show him lots of love. okay?
Mr. Mackey: Eric? Come on in, your your friends all want to say hi, m'kay?
*Cartman walks in*
The boys: Hi, Eric.
Stan: Hi there, Eric.
Kyle: No. Way.
Butters: How are you doin', Eric? You know, well I think you're a real special little guy. And even though you have AIDS, I ain't gonna act any different towards you. *kisses in cheek*
Cartman: GODDAMNIT THIS SUCKS ASS!
Kyle: Ek-scuse me, I have to step out for a minute.
Kyle: *exits room* Hah.. hah... hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! *Dies laughing*
Butters: Poor ol' Kyle. He's really takin' it hard.
-South Park, Tonsil Trouble

Pure gold. LMAO

[Lauren]

Willie: "Where's the wolf repelant?"
Brian: "Yay, dad!"
Lynn: "Remember, dad. It doesn't work on bears."
*Willie exits the RV. ALF enters the mysterious house alone*
ALF: "Helllllooooooo?? Anybody home? I'm coming in ... *enters* I'm iiinnnnnnn ...I'm looking through your cabinets ... *Goes into one of the drawers and holds a huge steak knife* YIKES!"

ALF (episode: On The Road Again)

[SBCharlene]

TattleTale Strangler: All right, enough of the sappy talk. Open the door so I can strangle you ... I mean, uh, choke you ... I mean, uh, crush your windpipe ... gah, I mean ...
SpongeBob: Protect me?
TattleTale Strangler: Thanks.
SpongeBob: Don't mention it, Strangler. (gasps) I mean, bodyguard. Now where'd I put my key?
Twenty minutes later ...

[Lauren]

All That (Sketch: Know Your Stars)

*Guy is off-screen and is interviewing Jack DeSena, who is on-screen*

Guy: Jack DeSena...His first word was Macaroni.

Jack: I think my first word was "daddy."

Guy: Jack DeSena...His bike still has training wheels.

Jack: That is SO not true! We took the training wheels off my bike when I was...7!

Guy: Jack DeSena...Likes to collect Diapers.

Jack: First, I don't collect diapers and if anyone collect diapers that would just be weird! Who is this guy?

Guy: Now you know...Jack DeSena.

Jack: NO YOU DON'T!

Guy: Yes they do.

Jack: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT ME! YOU MADE IT ALL UP! CAN WE DO THIS AGAIN?! I'M UPSET ABOUT THE DIAPER ISSUE!

[GirlyTeenGirl]

SpongeBob
Episode: The Algae's Always Greener

SpongeBob: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh ...
Plankton: What's the matter with you? All I said was "A little too much sauce." It's no big deal, really.
SpongeBob: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh ...
Plankton: What do you want from me, a promotion?
SpongeBob: A pro- a promo- a promotion?!

[Buffy]

Woman: Didn't I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Brennan: How could I possibly know what you watch on television?

From Bones

[Lauren]

@ GirlyTeenGirl: I love that episode and scene. ^.^

[Ultra Fox]

"yay"- Fluttershy

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, "Sonic Rainboom"

[Lauren]

*Takes a little break with using the smilies.*

Big Time Rush (episode: Big Time Fever)

Kelly: *Speaking to Kendell* "How come James, Carlos, and Logan got the Hollywood Fever and you didn't?"
Gustavo: "That's because Kendell has a normal brain and their brains are the size of crickets."

[Ultra Fox]

"What's the use of having a blood-thirsty primate around the house if you can't get mauled once in a while!"
- Ren & Stimpy