Favorite TV Show Quotes

[Nitro]

*Will is walking down the hallway*
Santana: *crying* mghmmdmfmdm
Will: I- er, Santana what's wrong?
Santana: fhdyhymmmmwaaa *sits down in a corner with a tissue box and begins sobbing*
Will: Kurt, what's going on?
Kurt: Sue has refused to get out of bed. The Cheerios haven't had practice in a week. I, for one, am lucky to have glee club but some of these girls are just going crazy.
Brittany: *following a homosexual nerd with an afro and glasses down the hallway* Please love me...
Will: . . .


VA member: They did funk.
Jesse: We've never been able to pull off a funk number.
VA member: That's because we're all soulless automatons.
Jesse: I'm so depressed.

[SBCharlene]

Plankton: Whew! Good thing I thought ahead of that escape door. Try and catch me now, you prissy feline! *laughing*

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SpongeBob: What is that?
Plankton: It's my, uh, recording equipment. *laughing evilly*

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Plankton: The best kind of lyrics are the ones that are deep and revealing. Something only you know? *cough*secretrecipe*cough*

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Police Officer: Hey, what are you kids up to this late?
SpongeBob: We're on our way to our first gig. We're in a band.
Police Officer: A band, huh, well, that's, uh... Oh. (The cop sees a green thing coming out of SpongeBob's nose.) Uh, you've got a, uh...
SpongeBob: Got a, uh, what? (SpongeBob laughs)
Police Officers: Uh... it's right... (He points to a nostril on his face.)
SpongeBob: Yes? (SpongeBob laughs again. The cop motions to wipe it off. You can tell Plankton's feet were coming out.)
Police Officer: Just keep your nose clean, kid. (Police officer drives away.)

[Nitro]

Rachel: I have an important question that I need your honest advice on.
Santana: Yes, you should move back to Israel.


Santana: Did you see what Rachel was wearing today?
Brittany: Yeah, I know! It's like my grandmother barfed all over her.
Finn: Guys, don't insult Rachel. She's pretty cool.
Brittany: That's mean, Finn.

Brittany: Did you know dolphins are gay sharks?

Kurt: Have you read the latest Tiffany Franklin book?
Blaine: There's a new book? Ha, just kidding, of course I have!
Kurt: Aren't Mathew and Richy the cutest couple ever?
Blaine: Not as cute as us, baby. But what about that new line that everyone's been wearing?
Kurt: Oh don't get me started on that. A skirt and a scarf do NOT go to together.
*In Mercedes' mind*
Blaine and Kurt: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay
Kurt: Oh! I opened my mouth and a little purse fell out? Isn't that so cool? *holds up the tiny pink purse and swings it around*
Mercedes: . . .

[Ultra Fox]

Death: "Feel free to move first! It really doesn't matter. I haven't lost at checkers since time began."

Yakko: "When was that?"

Death: "I think it was a Tuesday. Very few people know that!"
-Animaniacs, Meatballs or Consequences

[Lauren]

Drake: "Alright. We'll just call for help. Give me your cell phone."
Josh: (angrily) "My cell phone was in my bag, which you gave to Craig and Eric! What, you don't have your cell phone?"
Drake: "Mine got ruined."
Josh: "How?"
Drake: "You know ... fell in a bowl of soup at school."
Josh: "Who accidentally drops their cell phone into their soup?"
Drake: "It wasn't an accident. I wanted to see if it could float."
Josh: "How do you even get dressed by yourself?!"

Drake and Josh (episode: The Wedding)

[Nitro]

Quinn: Mom?! What are you doing here?
Mrs. Fabray: I came to watch you sing. And you were amazing!
Quinn: I...thank you...
Mrs. Fabray: ....I left your father. He was cheating on me with some tattooed freak. But I was thinking, sweetie, why don't you come home? We can set up the guest room as a nursery and things will be the same as before! We don't need your father! It will just be you and me! That *bleep* man kicked out his own daughter in your time of need! I'm making this right....Quinnie, say something.
Quinn: ....my water just broke.
Rest of the team: oh sh*t....

Tina: I need to close my locker but it will sound like a gunshot.
Mercedes: Ugh, tell me about it. The party was Friday and today's Monday and we still have hangovers.
Santana: I was dry heaving all weekend. When my mom asked what it was, I told her I was practicing bird calls.
Mike: I've been barfing all weekend.
Tina: Don't say barf.
Mike: I told my mom I had the flu and she made me a traditional tea. Of panda hair.
Santana: Ewww. I caught a whiff of hairspray this morning and went full Linda Blair in the girl's bathroom.
Artie: Hey ya'll, got some bloody mary's.
Mercedes: The last thing I want is another drink.
Artie: It'll help with your hangover. It's what bloody mary's are for. Hair of the dog that dun bit your ass.

Brittany: Sex isn't dating. If it was, Santana and I would be dating.

[SBCharlene]

SpongeBob: * choking Mr. Krabs * NOW, LISTEN HERE, YOU CRUSTACEAS CHEAPSKATE. SQUIDWARD'S BEEN LIVING IN MY HOUSE, DRIVING ME CRAZY, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE HIM BACK ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME?!?

Episode: Can You Spare A Dime?

[Lauren]

[quote="Spongiegirl28"]SpongeBob: * choking Mr. Krabs * NOW, LISTEN HERE, YOU CRUSTACEAS CHEAPSKATE. SQUIDWARD'S BEEN LIVING IN MY HOUSE, DRIVING ME CRAZY, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE HIM BACK ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME?!?

Episode: Can You Spare A Dime?[/quote]

I love this one!

[Eli_Ayase]

[quote="Nitro"](These quotes aren't funny but the title says "Favorite TV Show Quotes" not "Funniest TV Show Quotes")[/quote]
That quote what I said was my fave

Homer Simpson: WHY YOU LITTLE!!! *strangles Bart* (another one which is my fave )

~ The Simpsons

[SBCharlene]

Patrick: Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. Uhh ...

Episode: I'm With Stupid