Frustrated>.<

[Rarity]

I don't know but sometimes when I go on youtube and see this artists and video editors I can't help but to hate myself.
It must be my misfortune that I was born to rather not really well to do circumstances and now with advancements in technology I just can't keep up. I'm falling behind in graphics and art and everything else and I don't have the money to pay to catch up against this people. I fear because of this I won't have a future for the work I do. I can't get noticed I can't do anything I'm just so freaking useless!
I can't even protect my home from being robbed of food from some spoiled chinese princess. Srsly everyday its a fight for me I'm leaving on the edge of ends meet and some days I have to give the meal to my grandmother coz there simply ain't enough food to afford from what I sell. I just can't catch up and my prices are going lower and lower I need to do something.
I need to learn how to draw I need to learn video effects only then can I stand a chance to make a damn living in this Island. I feel like my options are running out even in the arts school. They are just simply useless and so superficial I can't really learn anything yet I must stay to get qualifications. Its been long since I really had family care as a whole and I long for that warm attention I should have gotten when I was much younger. I want to get noticed more but I can't flourish myself to be better.
I'm just feeling really down this is like the worst weekend ever. First I'm forced to donate to some disaabled charity fund and then my food for lunch and dinner is robbed by a 'Sea Lion Princess' and I get no compensation from her 'Sea lion dad and mom' except for a moronic snare as though I wanted to keep her. Then Whiteliolynx makes a new bg and intro and that really made my head burst. You know why? She is the new Monty Oum and ppl are reaching his standard at a much younger age. Those arrogant amv editors are hounding me on pms not to help me but laugh at me and boast how great they are in infringing copyright and screwing themselves. Lastly I can't go for Valentine's day. The teacher called saying we have to come back at 6:00 a.m to do exam as it was push forward for some worthless holiday. This I tell you is the worst weekend I ever had if one more 'sea lion' or other moronic mumbo jumbo happens I'm going to demonstrate my street fighting skills on that person....
Sorry just needed to vent all that crap that happened....

[xLilacVixenx]

Gee, I'm really sorry this is all happening for you. Life can be really frustrating at times. I'll be sure to pray for you. *Hugs* Feel better, ok?

But on the other note, I think all your feelings are combining and turning into hate/jealousy. I know Whitelionyx and I know she would never do anything mean. (Or at least try to) And I haven't known a single person who has said mean things to me through private message. Even so, maybe video editing isn't your thing? Like you said, another choice is art. And Whitelionyx practiced for goodness-knows how long to get where she is. If you seriously want to continue video-editing, you need lots of practice.

[Azdgari]

I'm really sorry, Lynx. Sounds like things really aren't going your way at all right now. =(

I still think you're an amazing graphic artist, though. Pretty much the best I've ever seen; and you sold one for $50! That's amazing, really! And whenever people are better than you, there's only one thing to do: work harder and get better than them! Nothing to do but practice and keep improving yourself. Like Vix so wisely said, the only way to be a master of something is to keep practicing.

You know you have all our support, Lynx! If you need anything, we're all here. ^^

[Rarity]

Yes Lilac I'm jealous but not because she is good I',m jealous on how fortunate they are. They have access to everything and so many resources but I have little access to anything I want. COZ I CAN'T AFFORD IT! I'm growing to hate editors even more and more especially how arrogant they are. I want to see how they would editor vids if they were in my situation.
I never hated Whitey she even wrote me back a pm once to assure me. But whenever I see her channel it is a reminder to me on how different and how big the gap between lifestyles we have are and it angers me that she has the money for all this things. And me? I don't know anything I have been self teaching myself for ages. I never relied on others, because I know they are just too arrogant to teach ppl and I'm right on that for myself. After a round and a round game with Blacksinnix I feel like slicing a face into half after trying to be funny.

[Chumvikingpride]

I'm really sorry for you, but at least, the banner or avatar that you are all beauties!

The art world is so difficult that it? But why I took this options....

[Rarity]

I just need to get away from people its burning my eyes up if I hear that bloody word again. My eyes are swelling from that crap right now. Sometimes I feel I should really just quit it. This internet is turning me mad its giving me pressure.

[Chumvikingpride]

You are not a sport to evacuate all this stress or problem?

[Rarity]

That is what I'm doing right now

[Chumvikingpride]

It went better now,
me is worse, I breaks everything when it annoys me...

[Rarity]

I'm a rather different person. I keep it all to myself and its really hard carrying this everywhere. Grr lets see if Blacksinnix really keeps her promise. She broke my trust thrice.