Zira Succeeds

[KopsTheTerminator]

Yet another one-shot from me, lol. I wrote a bunch of fan-fics on my spare time... This is my latest one. Enjoy!

Also, please tell me if I should make the continuation of this a RP when I get back.

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Zira succeeds

"If you don't fight, you will die as well.", Zira told Vitani, her own and only child. Vitani's eyes widened. Her own mother, the one she had always looked up to, was going to kill her? Her world was turning upside down. Was her mother that obsessed with Scar that she'd kill her own flesh and blood? Now what was she going to do? She couldn't betray her brother, but all those years of training would be a waste. That's what hurt her the most. She had to bring all those years of training to use, but betray her own brother? In the end, she decided to take the big step.

"I'm sorry, Kovu.", Vitani said as she jumped on him attacked him while he was still shocked from Vitani's reaction, pinned him down and went for the neck, breaking it.

"Nooo!", Kiara said as she pushed Vitani away, her eyes getting teary.

"Kovu...", Kiara said, her voice just a bit louder than a whisper. Everyone was looking at Kovu and Kiara. Even Zira was focused on them, but getting sick pleasure out of it.

"...Kiara... I love you, Kiara..", Kovu said before finally dying.

"I do, too, Kovu! I... love you...", Kiara said, but Kovu died before he could hear it. Simba was at the point of tears... He was wrong about Kovu, but never got to apologize to him. And his daughter had just lost her love.. Kiara crushed down and cried. Vitani's eyes were teary, but she refused to cry, yet inside she was screaming and keep saying that she should have died instead. The Outsiders were shocked. Zira had planned to kill Kovu? The Chosen One? They were still loyal to her, but they felt that something wasn't right... And all the Pridelanders, including Nala, were frowning. Zira smirked.

"Love! Haha! Love is just a feeling that fades over time and makes you weaker! Look what you've done with love, Kovu! You ruined yourself when you could have killed Simba and be a King!", Zira shouted and laughed maniacally. "But don't worry, soon your love will join you!!", Zira said, ready to jump at Kiara and kill her like she had done to many. But Kiara didn't hear her... She couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything or feel anything but Kovu's dead and gory body. All she could think was Kovu, Vitani and Zira. She would feel deep hate about Vitani, but then she looked at her and noticed her eyes that were about to shed tears. Well, all she could see from them, because Vitani had hung her head in shame. She knew Vitani regretted what she had done and the hate went towards Zira. But her mind was too busy thinking about Kovu to even react with anything that wouldn't make her sound ridiculous. But as Simba was about to attack Zira in rage, he heard Nala's voice.

"Don't you even dare touch my daughter!", Nala said as she ran and jumped on Zira.

"Attack, you fools!", Zira said before being pinned down. The Outsiders heard her and attacked, completely forgetting what Kiara had said a few minutes ago, forgetting her every word, forgetting Kovu's death. All except Vitani, who defended the Pridelanders as much as she could. Zira kicked Nala away, throwing her in the gorge while the huge wave was passing through it.

"Nala!", Simba said, but couldn't do anything as a bunch of Outsiders surrounded and attacked him. Kiara saw her mother protecting her and falling down. No, not her mother.. She had gotten enough. Enough with the crying, she had to do something! She growled loudly and rushed raging at Zira, who had killed her love and her mother, and slashed her face in rage before she could react. Zira smirked after receiving the hit.

"Oh, so the little princess can fight!", she said before jumping on her and tried biting her neck, but was distracted and bit her ear instead. She pulled it hard and left her a cut just like her's... Without even meaning to do it. Kiara managed to roll and pin the lioness, but was kicked back like her mother, but managed to hang on the edge of the cliff. How foolishly she had let her anger come over her and do the same mistake as her mother! Zira went back at looked at Kiara, stuggling to keep herself on the edge. Thi was perfect... Just like the stampede Scar had caused, and in a gorge too! She laughed evilly before digging her claws into Kiara's paws, making her growl just like Mufasa, but her growl was out of madness, and barely out of pain. She couldn't help but frown, though. She had little chances of survival if Zira actually threw her back into the gorge.

"Haha, this is so easy, way easier than Scar killing your grandfather! Goodnight, sweet princess..", Zira said and threw Kiara back at the gorge and immediately backed off, head off to kill more Pridelanders, as if killing the princess wasn't enough. But Kiara didn't fall. She had fallen into a ledge big enough for her. The young lioness slowly climbed down the gorge, because they'd notice her if she got back up. At the bottom, she saw her mother.. she had drowned, trying to save her.. how guilty Kiara felt for causing her mother's death. But as much as she wanted to kill Zira, she had to run away.. Run, run and never return. But before doing so, she noticed that her belly was wider. Yes, she was carrying Kovu's cub. That brought her happiness, but not big enough to make her depression go away.. So she ran. Run to the unknown, never to be seen again.. unless she found out a way to get her throne back.

Back on the fight, Zira was facing the weakened Simba in a fight, and obviously, winning. The King was severly injured, but refused to give up. He wouldn't let Zira take over that easily. He had watched his family die, but had no time to feel sad over it. He knew that he'd soon be dead and meet them all in the stars, but he also wanted to make Zira suffer as much as he could. There she was, attacking him, throwing him down. It was the end of Simba. As soon as Zira got close to him, she broke his neck like Vitani with a smirk.

"Now you'll feel how it is like losing your loved ones...", she said, her tone not evil; more sorrowful, and the lionesses that heard her questioned that. Simba was speechless, but decided that he shouldn't say anything at all; he just died, found peace as soon as possible. Zira let out an evil laugh.

"Ha!! Finally, after all those years!! Simba, the great lion King, is dead!!", she shouted, her voice echoing through the battlefield. The fight was almost over; the Outsiders were way stronger than the Pridelanders, and they had killed off enough Pridelanders already. The remaining Pridelanders gave up to Zira...

That night, Zira's growl echoed through the Pride Lands. It was Zira's reign.. Would she find a male to fall in love and make it her King? She highly doubted it, but didn't care. She was the Queen... and Simba and his entire lot were dead. Scar was finally avenged. A new era had began..

[Azdgari]

Very dark. A couple impressions as I read it:
I like that Zira is in good evil form.
I like the premise of it, and the way Vitani acted, though killing Kovu was slightly OC it was unavoidable as that was the catalyst for Zira's victory.
I liked Kiara's grieving.
I liked Zira's somberness at Simba's end. It gave a cool depth to her character.

One thing you could improve on--there's a lot of SAYING.

"Attack, you fools!", Zira said

"Oh, so the little princess can fight!", she said

"Nala!", Simba said

These are not things one generally 'says'. =P There are a lot of brilliantly descriptive synonyms, and they can add a lot of power to the dialogue in here. Here's a few examples:

"Attack, you fools!", Zira commanded angrily.

"Oh, so the little princess can fight!", she spat.

"Nala!", Simba cried in horror.

See? Just by switching 'said' to a different word, it became that much more emotional. And this sort of touches on a slightly bigger issue: many people overdramatize things, but I think here you're underdramatizing a bit. Terrible, earth shattering things are happening one after another and the characters' reactions don't seem to match the gravity of the events. The Pridelanders frowned when Kovu died? They must be quite a stoic bunch. And we don't even see Simba's reaction to Nala's death, which would of course mean the end of the world to Simba. Just some things to keep in mind. ^^

[LionKing4EVR96]

That was great! I'd love to to make an alternate ending of the first Lion King.

[LilTiger]

Yes make an RP of it!
And I love it!

[KopsTheTerminator]

[quote="Azdgari"]Very dark. A couple impressions as I read it:
I like that Zira is in good evil form.
I like the premise of it, and the way Vitani acted, though killing Kovu was slightly OC it was unavoidable as that was the catalyst for Zira's victory.
I liked Kiara's grieving.
I liked Zira's somberness at Simba's end. It gave a cool depth to her character.

One thing you could improve on--there's a lot of SAYING.

"Attack, you fools!", Zira said

"Oh, so the little princess can fight!", she said

"Nala!", Simba said

These are not things one generally 'says'. =P There are a lot of brilliantly descriptive synonyms, and they can add a lot of power to the dialogue in here. Here's a few examples:

"Attack, you fools!", Zira commanded angrily.

"Oh, so the little princess can fight!", she spat.

"Nala!", Simba cried in horror.

See? Just by switching 'said' to a different word, it became that much more emotional. And this sort of touches on a slightly bigger issue: many people overdramatize things, but I think here you're underdramatizing a bit. Terrible, earth shattering things are happening one after another and the characters' reactions don't seem to match the gravity of the events. The Pridelanders frowned when Kovu died? They must be quite a stoic bunch. And we don't even see Simba's reaction to Nala's death, which would of course mean the end of the world to Simba. Just some things to keep in mind. ^^[/quote]

Ack, sorry about those >.< My vocabulary isn't exactly rich, that's why I don't make my posts dramatic enough (and I'm too afraid to use Google Translator for obvious reasons ), and I've already got a bad memory anyway.. I even forgot to put Vitani in the ending XD I'll rewrite some parts someday to correct my mistakes.

Thanks for your feedback, much appreciated!

I've decided I'll use this in a RP, using this fan-fiction as the prologue. ^^

[TheWhistlerify]

I hope that unlike the rest of your fics you will finish this one, cus I really like it

[lemonleleupi]

Very sad story but I enjoyed it

Thank you.

I'm wondering what will become of Zazu, Timon and Pumbaa.

[KopsTheTerminator]

[quote="lemonleleupi"]Very sad story but I enjoyed it

Thank you.

I'm wondering what will become of Zazu, Timon and Pumbaa.[/quote]


Haha, I forgot about those three. I doubt that Zazu will get hurt, being the Majordomo, but I'm not sure about Timon and Pumbaa..

[Darkstride]

wow.... thats kinda scary but amazing at the same time. you got talent ^^

[Fiver]

Brilliant story!