Hollow Eeve

[zorayda]

I'll try my...erm...paw... at a little writing I do love to write, and I can't think of anywhere but here that will appreciate my TLK fan fiction. So...enjoy :3

The air around her was tense, coiled like a snake poised to strike at the heel of its opponent. The lone figure did not move or twitch in the darkness…in fact, anyone passing it would not even notice it was there. A thin stripe of light illuminated part of the figure’s face to reveal narrowed orange irises that remained fixed upon a central point in front of it. It was a lioness, and she was staring directly at the base of a huge, majestic formation of rock that jutted proudly into the sky.

A small bit of the bright sun began to creep over the horizon in the background. As the lioness watched, there was movement at the base of the rock. The lioness’s eyes narrowed further and her tail twitched once. She looked a split second more and then she began to speed forward, her belly so low that the short grass tickled it. She passed by a sleeping zebra herd, but none of them even so much as breathed differently, never noticing her stealthy presence.

She meandered silently into longer grasses that matched her wheat-colored pelt and began to growl softly as she came slowly upon her target.

Through the grasses, she could see the thing she’d been looking for…a beautiful, cream-colored lioness, now a bit wizened and older, but nonetheless stunningly gorgeous. Eyes of aquamarine never left the waterhole as she walked, unaware of her stalker, to get a drink.

The wheat-colored lioness belly-crawled after the other until she could reach out a paw to touch her tail. The orange-eyed lioness’s mouth watered with desire and excitation; she crept forward, one more step…
Nala whipped around quickly and pranced to the other’s left before the fatal blow could be delivered. The Queen of Pride Rock snarled and bared her fangs defensively, her shoulder muscles bunched and rippling beneath her creamy pelt.

The wheat lioness roared in anguish and frustration…this moment, so carefully thought out and planned, this moment, the moment that was to work out perfectly…

“Who are you?” Nala snarled, the words nearly incomprehensible beyond her loud growls.

“Eeve, not that it’s any of your concern,” the wheat lioness said contemptuously and with equal anger.
And before the two could banter any further, Eeve took the moment to deploy a cheap attack, aimed directly at the queen’s throat. Nala skipped out of the way, taken by surprise. She didn’t manage to get completely out of the way, however…Eeve managed to land an attack upon Nala’s beautiful face.

Nala let out a mix between a roar and a scream, an eerie, horrible sound…and then Eeve saw, to her immense satisfaction, that Nala’s left eye had been scarred and blinded…

A deafening roar caused Eeve to spin around, just in time to see a golden lioness barreling towards her through the air. Sneering, Eeve dodged to allow the young lioness to fall to the ground. A second later, she got back up again…only to find that Eeve had used that moment of confusion to go after the queen again.

“NO! MOM!!!” the lioness screamed, but her worry was ungrounded as Nala clubbed Eeve with one of her powerful paws.

“Uff!” Eeve huffed, slightly winded. Then, with a glare at both Nala and her daughter, Eeve ran at top speed away from Pride Rock and the other pride members who were quickly coming to the royal family’s aid.

[Azdgari]

IF this is your first time writing TLK, you should be proud, you did a great job! It was fairly short so there's not too too much to go on, but it's certainly intriguing, if a bit dark so far. I really enjoyed your very first sentence. It was a wonderful description and a great way to open the story and set the tone. Critically speaking, it's well written. A few awkward sections, a few repetitions (wheat-colored) but I have no doubt that you'll iron out the grooves as you continue on. Good job, I'd love to see more! ^^

[zorayda]

aaaaand you shall get your wish! Here is a little more to the story...

Many years earlier

It was a miserable existence, here in the Pridelands. Or, rather, the 'Deadlands', as Eeve called in internally. She batted lazily at a dead, starved field mouse with an over-large paw as the other cubs huddled together weakly. Eeve doubted that they would survive until the next season--she could see it in their vacant, hopeless gazes.

Another cub of about Eeve's age wandered past listlessly, dragging along a fresh kill. Groundhog, it looked like.

"Here," said the cream-colored cub, dropping the prey in front of the group of huddled cubs. "Share it--it's all I could find without Mom helping me."

The cubs huddled forward, little mewls of hunger escaping their mouths as they tore at the meat. The cream cub backed away a bit and stopped in front of Eeve, who was eyeing her with a hard-to-read expression.

"Why'd you give them the food YOU caught? You should eat it and survive--that's how nature works."

The cream cub looked taken aback at this statement, but decided to get around the question with an introduction. "Erm....hello, I'm Nala..." the cub said awkwardly.

"Eeve," said the corresponding cub shortly. "Seriously though." Eeve narrowed her orange eyes impatiently.

"Well..." Nala said, seeing that she couldn't get around this female. "It's just...a nice thing to do, I guess. Surely you don't WANT them to die?"

Eeve snorted. "I couldn't care less. More food for the rest of us if one of them dies. It's survival--we're in a famine, and I say that the strongest are the ones who should survive."

"How dare you say that!" Nala suddenly growled, looking angry. "Everyone deserves a chance to survive, and if all of us help each other, then--"

"Then more of us starve! Nature is built to make sacrifices, and it's built to eliminate the weaker animals. If you can't catch your own food, then you die." Eeve stubbornly jutted her chin out, begging Nala to continue arguing.

Nala stared at the other cub with intense dislike. "I don't have to explain the meaning of compassion to you. One day, you'll regret your attitude," she said sniffily. She turned her back on the other cub and sauntered away with her nose in the air.

Eeve bristled instantly and made her way in front of Nala to block her path. "Don't walk away from me like you're so much better than I am! Just because YOU had a mother who looked after you and taught you your morals and I didn't, it doesn't make you automatically smarter than me!"

Nala's muzzle raised up on one side in disgust. "And just because you didn't have a parent doesn't make me automatically sorry for you," she retorted. Nala went around Eeve and stalked off angrily.

Eeve let her go, growling softly as she left, but from that day on, Eeve stayed alone and began to hate Nala in solitude for her haughty words.

-----------

A few years later

"Simba!"

"Welcome back, your majesty!"

The words washed over Eeve as she stood back in the shadows, numb with shock. Simba...Simba was back! He saved them all from the tyrant who ruled them all cruelly, had chased away all of the hyenas that fought Eeve on a regular basis for her food...

Eeve was also very aware of the fact that a warm, fluttering hope began to spill out from her heart and into her head. Simba was back... the lion cub who was so charismatic, so brave and charming, the lion cub whose eyes were full of warmth and kindness, had returned as a full grown, handsome male, still brave, more refined, and now... a king.

Eeve had been in love with Simba for as long as she could remember. She couldn't bring herself to talk to him much--she was terrified of saying the wrong thing in front of him. So she'd stayed behind, had watched him from afar. She loved the way he walked, the way he talked, moved, played--everything he did, she loved. She even loved his arrogance and brash behavior, among his other flaws.

A movement from Nala took her out of her moment and shocked her into the present. Nala was nuzzling his chin as if she was his lover!

"No..." Eeve wasn't even aware that her lips were forming the word. Simba put his head down and licked her face tenderly, love emanating from his gaze...

And suddenly Eeve was running, running as fast and hard as her wiry legs could carry her, away from the 'Deadlands'. Nobody noticed her or took heed, and above all the celebratory roars and cheering, Eeve's sobs could not be heard.