The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

[TheWhistlerify]

I see that PM inspired you eh? =P

I knew he wouldn't do it! =]

[LilTiger]

It's not chapter 6 yet TheWhistlerify...
CHAPTER 6: Taking a Stand:

Sarabi growled. "I can't stand Simba anymore! I'm going to talk to him!", Sarabi growled as she started walking out the den. "Sarabi, don't! Do you want to end up like my daughter?", Sarafina asked Sarabi. Sarabi paused for a moment. "If that's what it takes, then yes...", Sarabi said as she started walking out the main den and going to Simba's.

"Simba, I need to talk to you.", Sarabi said. "About what regular?", Simba growled. Sarabi growled. Being called a regular made her mad. "I'm NOT a regular, I'm your motehr and a past queen.", Sarabi said as she walked to Simba. "You want to end up like Nala, then back away!", Simba yelled. Sarabi's temper was rising. She couldn't stand it any longer.

"No!", Sarabi shouted as she swung her paw and his face, making him bleed. "Grah!", Simba yelled. Simba slowly breathed as she looked at her. Simba gave her a stern look, and he slowly slinked out of the den. Sarabi wanted Simba's old brain back.

"I want you old brain back!", Sarabi shouted as she pushed Simba on the rocks. "Argh!", Simba shouted as she hung on the side of the rocks with his claws. Simba tried to get up the side, but he wasn't strong enough yet. Sarabi looked at Simba. Gave him a cold stare, then finnaly said. "Now you know how we feel...", Sarabi said as she walked away from him.

"Mom, help me! Please! I'm begging you!", Simba shouted. "Why should I? That's how we feel about you...", she said as she looked back at him. "Please mom, I won't be bad again! I promise!", Simba yelled. Sarabi looked at him. "Fine...'', Sarabi said as she grabbed Simba's paws and dragged them up. ''There, happy?", Sarabi asked. Simba smiled and then slapped his mom. She then fell on the rocks and slid down them, to priderocks ledge she went.

[TheWhistlerify]

Awesome =]
Keep the good work up

[axx1000]

I see that PM inspired you eh? =P

I knew he wouldn't do it! =]

HA HA HA HA HA HA ive been gone for a week i never had the chance to send the PM.

[LilTiger]

True Strength isn't Always What it Seems:
Everyone gasped when they say Sarabi fall. Simba slowly walked down the rocks. Scar smiled pleasently. Simba looked straight towards the lionesses. He growled, and went back to his den. That boy showed his true strenght today..., Scar thougth as he want to look at Sarabi. "Someone, go take her to Rafiki to heal! And take Nala with you!", Scar yelled as he growled at the lionesses. Sarafina walked over to Sarabi and put her on her back. "Come Nala, let's go to Rafiki's tree.", Sarafina said as she walked down the rocks. Nala followed.

Scar went up to his den. "Simba, you showed true strength today. Good job, two birds with one stone eh?", Scar chuckled. Simba's claws flung out. Scar was shocked. "Are you going to hurt the one who made you who you are today?", Scar asked with a growl. Simba looked at him. "No, I'm not. They just popped out I guess.", Simba said as he frowned. "Can I maybe be left alone for now? I'm tired...", Simba said. "Sure, with what you did today you deserve a break.", Scar said as he left the den. Simba quickly fell asleep.

[XeaxlXV]

Okay, I'm just gonna give you some constructive criticism here.

I like the idea, the plot, and the way you portrayed Zira is rather nice.

However...

You could fix up your sentences, because they just seem a bit blatant and choppy.
Also, I don't really understand Simba right now. He doesn't hurt Or mate with Nala,then he goes around and purposefully hurts his own mother without even telling her a thing. What's going on in his head?

[LilTiger]

Okay, I'm just gonna give you some constructive criticism here.

I like the idea, the plot, and the way you portrayed Zira is rather nice.

However...

You could fix up your sentences, because they just seem a bit blatant and choppy.
Also, I don't really understand Simba right now. He doesn't hurt Or mate with Nala,then he goes around and purposefully hurts his own mother without even telling her a thing. What's going on in his head?

He's going through the phase where he's slowly becoming more evil. And for future sections/chapters, I'll take what you said about the sentence and use them to improve my story

[LionKing4EVR96]

Is simba a teen?

[LilTiger]

How is This Possible?:
Sarafina, Nala, and the unconscious Sarabi were soon at Rafiki's tree. "What happened?", Rafiki asked in shock. "Simba did something to Nala, she needs to be checked, and Sarabi is severly hurt, she also needs to be checked.", Sarafina said. Rafiki nodded. "Nala, come with me.", Rafiki said. Nala nodded and started walking with Rafiki to the far end of the tree home. "So, how is Scar's reign for you?", Rafiki asked. "Horrible...", Nala replied softly. "Lay down.", Rafiki said. Nala then did what Rafiki told her to do. He inspected her roughly. "Well, you are with a cub.

Nala's eyes widened. What? I am? But he did NOTHING to me..., Nala thought as he got up quickly. "How is this possible? He never-", Nala quickly stopped. "Never what?", Rafiki asked. Then Rafiki remembered. "Oh yes, what happend a few hours ago.", Rafiki replied. "Well, if nothing happend, it's just fate Nala.", Rafiki replied. Nala was in shocked. "Well, what did he say?", Sarafina asked her daughter. "I am with a cub...", Nala said in horror. She cried and ran far away from Rafiki's cave back to priderock.

[RayCat]

WHOA, Nala's pregnant?