Nala: The story of a broken heart

Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby Arani » June 30th, 2010, 6:27 pm

My first lion king fan fic post! I do write a lot, but in play mode, not book mode. I'd love suggestions on how to improve on my book writing skills! Thanks! I might even put some of my play stuff up, who knows!

Okay, so this is about what happens with Nala and the Pride After Mufasa and Simba were proclaimed dead. This will also follow all events after Nala finds Simba and up until he becomes king. This is pretty much based on Nala. I don't know how long this will be, but I do know that all chapters will be different sizes: Some short and some long. I'll be posting as fast as possible.
P.S: Very, very bad at spelling. Try to figure out the word(s) even if they're not spelled correctly. Thanks, and enjoy!

Chapter 1: The news.
More and more tears went down my cheeks, hitting the rock floor under me.
My mother, Sarafina, gently nuzzled me, trying to calm me down. We were in one of the dens, out of Scar's hearing range. He had just told us about Mufasa and Simba's tragic death. I couldn't stop crying. Every moment I cried, the worse it got. I couldn't stop myself. I had just lost my dearest friend.
"How could this Happen?" I sobbed. "How could he just leave me? It's not fair!"
Simba and I were betrothed, together forever to become king and queen or the Pride Lands. I never wanted the queen's position, all I wanted was to be with Simba, and if that meant being queen, then so be it. I never realized how much he meant to me until he was gone, out of my reach. And now that he was dead... I felt empty, cold, and maybe the worst of them all; my heart and dreams were shattered into a million pieces. My mother picked me up into a hug.
"It's not fair, it's just not fair..." I repeated. I couldn't think clearly. Everything was blocked and blurred with sadness.
"Life isn't always fair." Said my mother. "But we have to forgive and move on, or everything we ever were will be crushed forever."
I looked into her eye's, the eye's I had always looked upon for advice and comforting. But now, I saw more than warmth and comfort. I saw fear, sadness, and even though her expression was light and warm, I knew that she was just as sad as I. Not just for Mufasa, Simba, and I; but also for her best friend, Sarabi. Everything was out of place, and I had no sleep that night.
(I know, chapter is pretty short. It was so much longer on paper. Writing block I guess.)

Chapter 2: A hands-on pouncing lesson
The morning sun poured into the cave... what you could see of it anyway. I woke with the rising sun, and when the rays of light were fully in the cave, I got up and walked outside.
It was about 13 weeks since the tragic accident, and the Pride Lands were already a mess. The herds were just starting to leave and the water starting to go away. The rainy season was 2 weeks late, so water was hard to come by. Any water that was found was drunk by Scar, and if any food was caught, Scar ate first. Then, the hyena's would feast, leaving us barley any scraps. We were all getting skinny and weak, but we kept each other going and helped each other stay strong. We were all realizing what a bad ruler Scar was. He was impatient, pushy, rude, and if any of his so called "perfect laws" were broken, the penalty was severe. I walked out to the Pride's meeting area. Most of the lionesses were lounging in the shade of dieing tree's. I walked over to my mother, who was talking with Sarabi, and another female lioness named Cara.
Cara was a very good friend to me. Whenever my mother was busy, she would play with me and keep me company, and we share secrets that even my mother doesn't know. I trusted her as much as I trusted my mother and Sarabi.
I walked over to them with a smile.
"Good morning Nala." Said my mother. She nuzzled me.
"Good morning everyone." I said as I sat down next to my mother. "Are we going for another pouncing lesson mother?" I asked. Pouncing was one of my favorite things to do. I loved to stalk up on a bug here and there, or sneak up behind Cara and give her a little scare. My mother and Sarabi were the best hunters around, and I was thankful to be learning from the best of the best.
"Well... maybe."
"Maybe?" I asked. "What do you..."
Sarabi spoke up. "Scar has said that from now on, the only way you get trained in hunting is to go on the hunt with the lionesses."
I was surprised at this, but scared at the same time. "But... but everyone knows how dangerous that is. How could he force me into that kind of situation?"
"I said maybe, Nala. We'll only have you go if you want to go. It's your choice." Said my mother. I could hear the worry in her voice. Everyone knows that cubs with the hunting parties are dangerous. No one will ever forget the last time a cub went with the hunting party.
This happened before Simba was born. It happened to a friend of Mufasa when he was a cub. Her name was Shila.
It was a normal day. The sky was blue, and all the herds were out grazing. Shila was a very curious lion. One day, she begged her mother to let her come on the hunt with them.
"Oh please please please!" She begged. "I won't be any trouble at all, I promise!"
Shila's mom, although she was unsure, said yes to her daughter's wish. Shila was behaving, doing everything her mother told her too, until the end of the hunt. The lionesses targeted a small group of buffalo. Shila's mother told Shila to stay away, but Shila didn't listen. She thought that the buffalo would go left when the hunting party tried to catch them, so she stayed very close to the right. But instead, the buffalo turned right, right toward Shila. There was no time. She tried to get away, but the buffalo were much faster. Even though her mother tried desperately to save her, Shila was crushed under the buffalo's hooves. After that insentient, it was made a critical law that no cubs were aloud to go with the hunting parties unless in a case of extreme emergency or need. But every now and then, when you see a buffalo herd, some of the lionesses say that they can still see little Shila running from them, her terrified face haunted their dreams for days afterward.
I gulped. I did not like the idea of being crushed by buffalo, or any animal for that matter! I didn't want to end up like... no. I could think his name. It would just make me depressed again. I shook my head to clear out the thought, then turned to my mother.
"I don't know..."
"Don't know? Why, I thought you wanted to learn to hunt." Said a deep voice. Scar came into view. "Let me tell you personally, Nala. You don't go on this hunt, you never go on a hunt." He tuns to leave. "Make your choice." Walks away.
Sarafina spoke as soon as he was gone. "You don't have to listen to him. I don't want you to have the same fate as Shila, or..." I looked into her eye's, silently asking her not to say his name. "Well, anyway, he has no right to send you to your possible death."
I took a deep breath. "No. No, I want to go on that hunt. I want to learn to hunt." The lionesses looked at each other, then nodded, approving my decision. I was scared, yes. But I wanted to learn to hunt so bad that it over-powered the scardy-cat side of me.
Later that same day, the lionesses took me out on my first hunt. My mother said to do everything exactly as she told me to, and I did. All the lionesses said that I did a wonderful job and I could come on the hunt with them again whenever I want. And so, I was going with them on every hunt, and before I knew it, I was growing into a powerful, swift and smart lioness. It was getting easy for me now. And through it all, I almost lost my memories of Simba.

Chapter 3: The new arrival.
Weeks passed by more slowly than ever before. Everything had done a 180. I was so... lost. This... the state the Pride Lands were in... it was terrible. Everyone was starting to lose themselves to it, giving in to Scar's rule to survive. All but four of us; Sarafina, Sarabi, Cara and I were the only one's who believed that things could turn around in our favor. But we also had to face the truth; it would take a miracle.

I wasn't dreaming. Sleeping, yes, but not dreaming. I had had no dreams for at least a week now, and I believe that it's because of all that's been happening. The herds leaving, the water disappearing, and everything else that is on the list. I suddenly felt something poking me. I stirred and raised my head. Everything was a blur from being so tired. Then, I could finally see me mother standing in front of me.
"Come with me." She whispered. And without another word, she ran out of the den. I probably looked pretty silly. Why would my mother wake me up in the middle of the night against Scar's laws? She knows that we aren't allowed out of the den after dark, and she doesn't want to get punished, and I didn't, either. But, since she was my own mother, I ran after her. She led me to a small cave near the eastern border of the Pride Lands. Sarafina looked around, then walked inside. I walked in after her, and that's when I saw him. A little white cub, the whitest, most pale cub I had ever seen. I slowly walked closer.

"Nala, meet your new little brother, Mheetu." She said warmly. "He was abandoned by his old Pride. What else was I supposed to do besides taking him in?"

"But... what if Scar finds out?" I asked. I was worried. Scar would probably kill Mheetu if he had the chance. I didn't want anyone to get killed, especially by Scar.

"Exactly why he wont know about him. Sarabi and Cara know of him, you're the last one. No one else may know he's here. Got it?" She asked. I nodded.

"Mheetu..." I walked closer and looked at the little cub in my mothers paws. "Mheetu, that's a good name. I'm Nala."

"Nala!" Mheetu squeaked with a proud smile. I looked at my mother. She smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back.

For the first time in a long time, things started to seem a little bit normal. And even though he was just an abandoned cub, I was very happy and proud to call Mheetu "brother". (Sorry for it being so short.)

Chapter 4: Mheetu's question
After Sarafina introduced me to Mheetu, I played with him everyday. Sarafina, Sarabi and Cara took turns watching Mheetu so Scar didn't become suspicious. I was teaching him a lot, how to run for long periods of time, how to stalk up on other animals, and everyday after playing, we would have a sparing match. I won 1 time, and he didn't mind. Usually, though, I let him win and be proud of himself and his accomplishment. I loved Mheetu, and he loved me. We were inseparable. One day, when I was talking to Mheetu, he asked me a very stunning question.

"Nala, what were the Pride Lands like before Scar come along?"

I was surprised. Memories filled my head. Memories of Simba, Mufasa, the Pride Lands... I took a deep breath.

"It was very... beautiful, Mheetu." I said, trying to not reveal how sad I still was for Simba and Mufasa.

"What else?" He asked.

"Well, there was plenty of food and water. And I had a best friend named..." I stopped. I had been trying for so long to not mention his name, but now, it seemed I had no choice. Mheetu had to learn sooner or later. "Named Simba. We did everything together."

"What happened to him?" Pushed Mheetu, wanting to know more. As I told him the story, I was trying very hard to blink away tears. When I finished, Mheetu's jaw was at the floor. I looked down and away, hoping he did not see the tear that I could not hold back. He apparently noticed, because he gave me a little lick on the cheek. "I'm sorry, sister. I didn't know it was so... painful for you to talk about."

"No, it's fine. You would have found out sooner or later." I said, wiping the tear from my face.

"But don't you sometimes think that he might be alive?" I looked at him in surprise. "You know, like you just have that gut feeling that he's okay and safe somewhere?" I said nothing. I couldn't move, processing what he had just said. Could he be right?

"I don't..." I sighed a deep, sad sigh. "I don't know." That was all I could say. I could get nothing more to pass through my lips and turn into words. After that, Mheetu stopped asking questions. But then he said something that shocked me more than anything else.

"I believe that Simba is alive. Maybe someday you will, too." And with that, he got up and walked deeper into the cave were Sarabi was lounging. I was in complete shock. Could Mheetu be right, and if so, where is Simba now? Why wouldn't he come back to us? These questions and many more raced through my head. I got up and walked back toward Pride Rock. I said nothing as I passed my mother. She didn't notice. I walked into the den to lay down. And almost instantly, I was asleep, with that one, shocking statement replaying over and over again in my head "I believe Simba is alive. Maybe someday you will, too..." I suddenly smiled in my sleep, thinking to myself "That cub is way to curious."

Chapter 5: Cara's rage
Cara had always said that Scar wasn't rightfully king. Anyone could be a better king then Scar. Everyone knew that things would most likely get better if Scar wasn't king, but no one had the courage to fight back. They also knew that he was the only one to take the throne, and I, even though I was just as mad as Cara, knew that it would take a miracle to help the Pride Lands now.

Weeks and weeks were passing. I was growing into a beautiful teenage lioness. Mheetu was also growing, and was getting a little more of his mane to grow out. By this point, he knew almost everything I did. How to pounce, stalk, things like that. He even beats me at sparing matches now, even when I'm actually trying to win! But, as time passed things got more and more tense around the Pride.

Cara was getting restless. She couldn't understand why no one wanted to fight back, why no one had the courage to fight back. Not that I didn't want to fight. I'd gladly throw Scar off the top of Pride Rock and not give a rip about it. Don't get me wrong, I just wanted everyone to stay safe and happy, but I just wasn't big enough, or strong enough. And besides, if I was killed in the proses, my mother would probably get killed also. Cara was trying to think of idea's of how to over throw Scar. She kept saying things like "We could get him while he's sleeping." and "We could lead him away from Pride Rock and the hyena's."
But every time she though of something, someone pointed out why it couldn't be done, our how foolish her plan was. She was getting more and more angry until one day we thought that she had finally lost her mind.

"I'm leaving." She said. She was with Sarafina, Sarabi and I, as usual. We all looked at her, surprised. It was mid-afternoon, just after the hunting parties had returned. Everyone was resting in the shade of now lifeless tree's. Her sudden outburst alarmed us all.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" I asked. I didn't understand why she would just abandon her own pride. I thought she wanted to make things better.

"I'm gonna leave and bring back help to take down Scar." She said in almost a whisper. "I shall leave tonight."

"But Cara..." Said Sarabi, very concerned. "We need you here."

"There wont be anyone left that will need me if I don't do this." Said Cara, getting more serious. "I wont abandon you guys. I will be back."

We all looked at each other, then back at Cara.

"If you are sure this is the right thing to do, then we have your back 100%." Said my mother. Sarabi and I nodded in agreement. Cara stared at us for a moment, then nodded as well.

That night, under the full moon, we snuck out of the den and to the cave Mheetu was staying in. I had already informed him of the plan, and he wished to say goodbye.

"Take care of yourself." He said. Cara gave him a little lick on the cheek.

"We hope you make it back safely." Said Sarafina, her voice was now very soft and loving, but she had a touch of sadness around the edges.

"Don't worry, Scar will be stopped. I can promise you that." And with that, we said our goodbye's and watched her leave the cave. She was soon swallowed by the night.

That night, I had a dream about her. In the dream, she said that she was alright and that she will miss us greatly. I didn't understand what she meant at first, but as the days turned into weeks, I finally understood what she meant.

We never saw Cara again.

Chapter 6: The scariest moment (Note, this chapter and the next chapter may be very emotional to some.)
Years had passed, and still no word from Cara. We knew a long time ago what had happened, and we were very, very sad. I, like almost everyone else, was starting to lose hope. Mheetu told me to not lose faith every single day, but my mind was slowly giving in to this life style.

I was now in my late teens. I was one of the best hunters in the Pride, and went on every hunt. But, we usually came back in vain. There was no more prey except for the occasional animal that was separated from their group. We couldn't last to much longer. An then, Scar made things much much worse for me.

We had just come back fro the hunt. It was my turn on scouting duty, so I was very tired. I decided to go take a nap, so I went into one of the dens. And that's when it happened. The scariest moment of my life.

I wasn't asleep yet. I had my eye's closed when I heard somebody walk into the den. I opened my eye's, thinking it was my mother. I was surprised to see Scar standing in front of me. I sat up in an instant. His smile was very evil looking.

"King Scar." I said, worried. "Is... something wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong for me to want to see my favorite little hunter?"

I was getting scared, not knowing what he was going to do. But, I didn't show that I was scared, I kept my cool and showed no emotion. "I don't know." I replied. I wanted to get away from him as fast as possible. He came closer, and I backed up a step. "I forgot, I need to go see my mother, bye." I tried to walk out of the cave, but Scar stopped me.

"What's the hurry?" He asked with his evil grin. "I just wanted to talk." That's when I knew it was nothing good. I stood my ground, ready for anything. "How was the hunting today?"

"A complete waste, just like always." I said. "Now if you will excuse me, your majesty, I would like to go see my mother." I tried to walk out again, but he hit me, making me fall to the ground against the cave wall.

"I'm sorry, but laws are that if I'm speaking, you listen through until the end." I stood up, standing my ground. "You seem very down, sad. Maybe we could have a little fun for a change." He started to walk towards me, and that's when I knew what he was trying to do.

He wanted me.

I was terrified. He came closer and closer. He was almost to me. I had no time, I had to think of something fast. When he got way to close, I hit him to the side with a lot of force, making him fall to the ground. I sprinted out of the cave, crying. I ran past my mother and the pride, and away from Pride Rock. I ran into the cave Mheetu was in. My mother ran into the cave a minute later. I was laying down, sobbing. Mheetu was next to me. He had a paw on me, trying to make me feel better.

"Oh my dear, what happened?" Exclaimed my mother as she ran over to me. I raised my head just enough to look into her eyes, tear streaming down my cheeks. Here eye's widened a bit. "Oh dear. Shh." She comforted as she lay down next to me, putting her paw on mine. "Everything is gonna be alright." I put my head on her paw. She put her head on top of mine, and Mheetu put his head right next my head. (Sorry for it being so short. I thought this was a big part to the story, but even I was starting to get a little emotional. What can I say? I'm an emotional person, lol.)

Chapter 7: The breaking point.
I didn't leave Mheetu's cave for days afterward. I didn't return the Pride Rock or to the pride. I didn't play with Mheetu, didn't go on hunts, and barley talked to anyone for days. I only left for an occasional drink when ever I could get one. About a week later, I finally left the cave. Sarafina was with Mheetu that day.

"Would you like me to come with you dear?" Asked my mother. I shook my head no and walked out of the cave. It was not a long walk. I was on my way back when I heard something. It sounded like a scream. A scream for me. Someone screaming “NALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I knew who it was. I sprinted for Mheetu's cave, only to find a horrifying sight. There, in the cave, were two bodies. Still... bloody... dead. I walked in.

"Mheetu? M...mother?" There was no answer. A pool of blood was forming. Tears started going down my cheeks. I had lost the only family I had, and I was to late to save them. Sarabi ran into the cave.

"I heard Mheetu scream!" See's Sarafina and Mheetu's bodies. "Oh my god... Not them." I could see tears forming in her eye's. I moved closer. I could see where they were hit. I examined the wounds through teary eye's. Then, as if struck by lighting, I new who had done this.

Scar killed Mheetu and my mother.

I couldn't believe it. Sarabi read my mind, because she instantly hit the rock wall with her paw very hard.

"The brute! That... that murderer!"

"But... but why?" I asked, sobbing. Sarabi didn't answer. Instead, she walked up and nuzzled me, trying to make me feel better.

I had reached my breaking point. I was so fed up with Scar for so long, and then this... I couldn't handle this. Rage was filling my body to the point of over flowing. First he kills Cara while she tries to get help, then he kills Mheetu. And to make matters worse, he killed my own mother. Memories went through my head as Sarabi led me out of the cave. That night, I couldn't sleep a wink. I had to may things going through my mind of the good times with my mother and brother. Then, I suddenly remembered my talk with Mheetu. I could see the conversation as it played in my head.

"I believe that Simba is alive. Maybe someday you will, too." Those words echoed through my head. I had so many questions. Questions like "What if..." and "Maybe...". I suddenly stood up. I knew what I had to do.

I ran out of the den and away from Pride Rock. There was no more of the "What if Simba is alive." questions. No, I believed Mheetu now. I could feel that Simba was alive somewhere, and I was going to find him and bring him back home. As I left the Pride Lands behind, I didn't look back. I wasn't just doing this for the Pride back home. I was doing this for my mother, I was doing it for Mheetu and for how much he believed that Simba wasn't dead, and I was doing it to finish Cara's quest. This wasn't about me anymore. This was about everyone that I lost, and for everyone back home. This was about freedom.
(The last two chapters were to short, ik.)

Chapter 8: Simba
I ran all night. I didn't know where I was going, or what I might find, but that didn't matter to me. What mattered was finding help. Finally, after almost a full night of running, I stopped, exhausted and starving. I took a drink from a little pool of water next to me. I knew I couldn't stop, but I also knew that I couldn't keep running. I looked at the stars.

"Please, great kings. If you're up there, give me strength." My voice was almost a whisper. And for a moment, I could have sworn that I saw Mheetu with Mufasa, Cara and my mother. I smiled and walked on. By morning, I was so hungry my stomach was aching and I felt like I was going to collapse. I looked around and spotted a forest near by.

"That looks promising." I said to myself as I headed for the forest. And sure enough, I spotted a big, fat warthog chasing a blue beetle. I knew what to do. I crouched low to the ground, stalking forward. I accidentally made a stick break, making the warthog look in my direction. Thankfully, he didn't see me and kept going after the bug. I went closer and closer. I stopped when the warthog was on a log in front of me. I was about to pounce when the warthog spotted me. He screamed and ran, and I, claws and teeth bared, chased him deeper into the forest. I chased him everywhere until he finally got stuck under a tree root. I saw a little meerkat try to help the pig get free. An extra snack in my mind. I was about to catch them when a large male lion pounced at me. I stopped, and my instincts kicked in. We started to fight, the meerkat cheering for the male lion. I finally pinned him to the ground. He had a red mane with golden fur. He stared at me for a second.

"Nala?" He exclaimed. I quickly got off of him and backed off, very confused. "Is it really you?" He asked.

I didn't know how he could have possible known my name. "Who are you?" I asked.

"It's me, Simba." Said the male lion. I couldn't believe it.

"Simba?..." He nodded. We both said "Whaa!" As we circled each other, both saying things at the same time. I forgot all about my hunger issues. He asked me what I was doing here, but I quickly asked him what he was doing here. The meerkat jumped right in the middle.

"HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" He shouted at the top of his tiny little lungs.

We both looked down at him. "Timon, this is Nala, she's my best friend!" Exclaimed Simba, apparently overjoyed to see me. "Hey Pumba, come over here!" The warthog got himself out from under the tree root. "Nala, this is Pumba, Pumba, Nala."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance." Said Pumba.

"The pleasure's all mine." I said, still a little confused.

"How do ya do... Whoa whoa whoa, time out!" Shouted Timon. "Let me get this strait. You know her, she knows you. But she wants to eat him. Did I miss something?!?!" He exclaimed, breathing harder than normal.

We kept talking. I told him that he was rightfully king and that everyone thought he was dead. Timon and Pumba didn't believe me. I asked to talk with Simba in privet, and after Simba asking them to leave as well, we were alone. I walked forward a little bit with a sad, yet confused face. He noticed and walked over next to me.

"What? What is it?" He asked.

"It's like your back from the dead. You don't know how much this will mean to everyone... What it means to me."

"Hey, it's okay."

"I've really missed you." I said as I nuzzled him.

"I've missed ou too." He nuzzled me back. We were finally back together again. I couldn't be happier. We fooled around for a long time, our love growing stronger and stronger. A little while after I found him, we started talking more about our lives. I caught myself and antelope for Simba and I. After we ate our fill, he kept on showing me the forest. He suddenly asked. "Isn't this a great place?" I said that it was beautiful, but I didn't understand why he didn't return to the Pride Lands. He said that he needed to live his own life, and that his life now was great. I told hm of all the terrible things going on back home. He was horrified. We started to argue as I tried to convince him to go back home. He said. "You know you're starting to sound like my father."

"Good, at least one of us does." I said. That did it for him. He turned to me, now more angry.

"Listen, you think you can just show up and tell me how to live my life? You don't even know what I've been through!"

"I would if you's just tell me!"

"Forget it!" He shouted, storming off.

"Fine!" I shouted back, turning away. I sighed, realizing what we had just argued about. I went to go look for him, but he had disappeared. I looked all night until I could look no more, and fell asleep about an hour before dawn. I woke up a few hours later and kept searching for Simba. I finally found Timon and Pumba. I woke them up and asked them where Simba was, only to hear that they had no idea where he was.

"You won't find him here!" Said an old baboon in a tree near us. "Haha! The king, has returned." I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Simba was going home.

"Simba's gone back to challenge Scar!" I exclaimed.

"Who?"

"Scar."

"Who's got a scar?"

"No no no, his uncle."

"The monkey's his uncle?"

"NO!" Simba's gone back to challenge Scar to take his place as King."

"Oh..." Said Timon and Pumba. I could tell they didn't understand. I tried to explain it to them, but it seemed as though they still didn't get it. I was getting frustrated, and finally ran after Simba. I soon left the forest behind me and into the desert. I didn't stop, didn't slow, didn't look back. Simba, and everyone at Pride Rock, needed me now.

I finally found Simba. He was horrified at the destruction.

"Simba!" I yelled as I ran up next to him. "It's awful, isn't it?"

"I didn't want to believe you" He said.

"What made you come back?"

"I finally got some sense knocked into me, and I got the bump to prove it. Besides, this is my kingdom. If I don't fight for it, who will?" He asked.

"I will" I said.

"It's gonna be dangerous." He cautioned me.

"Danger, ha! I laugh in the face of danger, hahahaha!" I said to Simba, repeating what he had said to me when we were cubs. Timon and Pumba showed up, to our surprise. They were ready to help take back the Pride Lands.

Things were finally suddenly starting to turn. I truly thought that this day would be the end of Scar.

Chapter 9: The Battlefield
Simba, Timon, Pumba and I got closer and closer to Pride Rock. We hid behind a fallen tree when we saw the "watch dogs." Simba thought of a plan to get past them. The plan was to use live bait... of course, Timon and Pumba didn't like the idea, but they were able to make up a great distraction. But, being as weird as they are, they did more than I expected. Timon dressed up and did the hula! Pumba was acting as though he was on a serving platter, ready to be eaten. The plan worked, and Simba and I were able to get by the guards and by Pride Rock.

"You find my mother and rally the lionesses, I'll go after Scar." Simba instructed. I nodded and ran off. I heard Scar call Sarabi's name, I couldn't get to her now. The rest of the Pride was in one of the dens of Pride Rock. I ran inside.

"Hey guys, you need to come with me!" I said. All the lionesses looked at each other.

"What for?" Asked one of them. I quickly told them of how I found Simba and that he was going to challenge Scar. We needed all the lionesses there to help fight off the hyena's and take back what is rightfully ours. As soon as they heard that we were taking back Pride Rock, they all jumped to their paws, ready to fight to the death. I knew that we had a great Pride, and I lead them outside to where Simba was waiting. On the way there, I thought to myself, "What did I do to get the privalige to help take down Scar?" I silently laughed to myself. By the time we got there, Simba and Scar were talking, Sarabi on the ground.

"You see them?" Asked Scar. "They think I'm king."

"Well we don't!" I exclaimed. "Simba's the rightful king." Two of the lionesses helped Sarabi to her paws. Scar and Simba talked for a minute. Scar said "I'd hate to be responsible for the dreath of a family member, wouldn't you agree Simba?"

"Let it go, Scar. I've put it behind me."

"But what about your faithful subjects, have they put it behind them?" He asked us. I asked Simba about what Scar was saying. Things were getting more tense. Finally, Scar said.

"Tell them who is responsible for Mufasa's death!" Simba looked at me. Our eye's met, and I figured out what had happened.

"I am." He said. I didn't know what to think. I saw Sarabi walk up to Simba, but that was all. I was very confused now. I didn't believe Simba could kill his own father. It just didn't seem... right. I couldn't move, couldn't see, couldn't think clearly. Was it true? Have we lost already?

Suddenly, I saw Simba almost fall off of Pride Rock and into the flames below.

"Simba!" I yelled as he almost fell to his death. Simba and Scar talked for a minute more. I couldn't make out what they were saying. Suddenly, Simba jumped up and onto Scar.

"Murderer!" He screamed. We were all surprised. "Tell them the truth." He demanded.


Simba threatened Scar by chocking him until he said it. "I killed Mufasa!" I was suddenly filled with rage. I started to charge toward Simba as the hyena's attacked him. I helped Simba get the hyenas off his back. He thanked me with a quick smile, then we went off into battle. There was blood everywhere. At one point, I saw Rafiki using his Kung Fu moves on the hyenas, which was a very funny site. I lost sight of Scar and Simba, and knew they were battling each other. There were so many of them. I didn't know what was left, right, up or down; I only had eye's for the battle. Even Timon and Pumba helped out in fighting off the hyenas. They were leading them into caves, then using Pumba's special "stink" powers to get them to go away for good. They even saved Zazu! We all heared a painful roar from somewhere on Pride Rock. We knew it was from Simba or Scar. Finally, after a long, hard fought battle, the hyenas were either dead or running for their lives.

I then knew that everything would be okay.

Chapter 10: The rightful king.
For the first time in years, it started to rain. The flames turned into no more that smoke. We hadn't lost a single lioness.

I looked around, trying to find Simba. I suddenly saw him walking down Pride Rock and over to Sarabi and I. I was so happy that he was okay! He and his mother gave each other an affectionate nuzzle. Then Simba nuzzled me, longer than he did to his mother. We suddenly turned to a shaking sound. It was time for Simba to take his rightful place as king. He started to walk up to the tip of Pride Rock. I watched him go. I knew that the suffering had finally come to an end, and that life would be better for all of us. I was almost to the point of tears before Simba roared across the land, telling everyone that he was the new king. The rest of the pride roared with him. We all knew that he would be a great king. I was having flashbacks of the past and up until now as we agreed to Simba's rule. I had decided to do like Simba did, and put the bad stuf behind me, and start a new life with Simba and a happy Pride.

Soon after, Simba and I got married and took our rightful place at the throne. All the animals started to return and it rained a lot for a very long time, returning all the water and giving the tree's and plants life again. A few years later, after things were mosly back to normal, we had our first cub, Kopa. Then we had our second cub, Kiara.

But I never forgot about the one's that I had lost. They made up my soul. So every night before I went to bed, I would go back to that little cave on the eastern border. The little cave the held that cub that always believed in a brighter future. The cave where I found the courage to fight back. Mheetu, my mother, and Cara. The three that truly changed my life forever.

(Well, there you have it! Tell me what yall think! That took me about three days to complete, so I can't wait to start writting my next Fan Fic! ) :D
Last edited by Arani on July 14th, 2010, 2:53 am, edited 13 times in total.
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby AustralianChaos » July 1st, 2010, 7:46 am

Fascinating...fan fictions about Nala's time during Scar's reign are very common, and I don't really read them, but this one is definitely interesting.

A couple of tips:
-First, on this site, it's generally best to double-space between paragraphs, it just makes it easier to read.
-Second...while I haven't seen any significant mistakes or flaws yet, and I commend you for that, I'll just remind you to lok over your work before you post it, if you're not doing so already.

Aside from that, it's an interesting start, and I look foward to more!
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby Arani » July 1st, 2010, 8:57 am

Thanks Chaos! I'll try and keep all that in mind while I do the forth chapter.
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby Ruko » July 1st, 2010, 9:38 am

I couldn't do a full review yet as I'm in my iPhone but I liked the beginning. But I failed to understand the time and age about this fanfic
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby kovusbuddy » July 1st, 2010, 3:48 pm

wow i cant wait for more
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby KopsTheTerminator » July 1st, 2010, 8:02 pm

I just read this and I must say that this is a really good Fan-Fiction so far! You're doing a really good job on it. All I could suggest is use a spell-check because there are some typos, not that the typos make the story less interesting, but a spell-spell will make it easier for others to read.
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby Arani » July 1st, 2010, 10:53 pm

Thanks everyone! Sorry about that Ruko, this is basicly a day by day or week by week type of thing. It's just her life going by, I let everone else imagine their own age and look for her, and how fast they think she is growing. Thats just my kind of writting. Thanks for the suggestion Kopa23! I'll try to have as little errors as possible. You're all great, I'll make sure to post more soon! :D
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby Arani » July 2nd, 2010, 1:27 am

Okay everyone! I fixed the spelling mistakes and such, hope it's better! :D
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby AustralianChaos » July 2nd, 2010, 1:37 am

Two more chapters, and still as enthralling as ever!

You've certainly got some skills as a writer Arani, and I'm enjoying this! There are definitely ways you can improve and become a better writer, but trust me, this is excellent quality stuff nevertheless!

I await more...eagerly!
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Re: Nala: The story of a broken heart

Postby Arani » July 2nd, 2010, 2:13 am

Thanks chaos! I improve with every word I type.
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