Life in the Pridelands

Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azerane » April 22nd, 2010, 3:37 am

Can't believe I just read all that :P It's turning out really good, it obviously sucked me in. Was very enjoyable, love your imagery. Look forward to reading more :)
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azdgari » April 23rd, 2010, 2:13 am

Thanks a lot, Azerane! =]
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Kina » April 23rd, 2010, 3:31 am

Amazing updates, Azdgari. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to comment, but I absolutely love how your character development is coming along.
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby YFWE » April 23rd, 2010, 3:35 am

So I'll admit, at first I was wondering what this chapter had to do in terms of plot development, but you must certainly answered that for me at the end. Solid chapter; not your best but you've also written some real winners in the past. As always, keep it up.
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azerane » April 23rd, 2010, 1:10 pm

Oh also, I remembered something that bothered me. It's the references to human sayings... eg, Simba told Kovu that he wasn't ready to throw in the tail. The saying fits for the situation, but lions don't have towels :P Perhaps change it to something else like tails... or pick a saying that doesn't have a 'human' reference like that... But it's your story, it's just something that stuck out to me.
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azdgari » April 23rd, 2010, 5:36 pm

*facepalm*
Thanks, Az. YFWE already called me out on using humans vernaculars (if i may use such a word xP), but it seems i slipped up again. I don't generally write about lions, so it just slipped my mind. Thanks for pointing it out though, that's how the story improves. Thanks to Kina and YFWE, too. Your encouragement means more to me than you know. =D
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azdgari » April 26th, 2010, 1:43 am

Chapter 12 up! Sorry it's a little short. I had real trouble with this one, and I'm not sure I like the way the second half of it came out, so I might rewrite down the road. Things are starting to heat up, though. =O
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby sharonwilson » April 26th, 2010, 11:55 am

o yaaaa things are heatinggg uppp
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby TheWhistlerify » April 27th, 2010, 12:08 pm

Continue please =]
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
My 'The Lion King' fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10370841/1/
My 'Pokémon' fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9017329/1/
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby YFWE » April 28th, 2010, 12:53 am

Finally, things are getting a lot more interesting! Crazy chapter. I do hope Nala's not actually dead, though that would certainly add a couple points on the dramatic side. This is the point of the story we've all been waiting for so don't keep us in suspense for TOO long! C:
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