Love problems...

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Love problems...

Postby TheIvanMuse » April 18th, 2010, 12:57 am

Ok,so,I'm having a hard time deciding what to do.:(
There's this girl that I've fallen in love with.She's been going to high school with me for 4 years and now we're on the same college(but not on the same classes).She was to first person to approach me when i first got to high school and has been a great friend ever since.Now that i don't see her every day like i used to,due to college,I began to understand just how much I miss her and how much she means to me.
But everything is messed up now,because she's actually been in a relationship for about a year and a half now,and now i don't know what to do.I don't want to hurt her...But I would love to be with her.
I think that I should tell her how I feel,but at the same time I'm scared that it might end our friendship,considering just how realistic the possibilty of us being together is,regarding her being already in a relationship for quite a time.
I don't want to be the guy that 'steals' someone's girlfriend,but I know how I feel about her.At least I thought I knew...Lately we haven't seen each other very much,she says she has a lot of studying to do and stuff,at least that's what she tells me.The other day while we were talking on the phone she said one thing that hurt me.Maybe i'm just being too....I don't know....She said that even if she had more time on her hands,she would rather spend it with her family and her boyfriend then with me.
So now I don't know what to do and I'm not so sure about my feelings towards her neither.I feel like my feelings towards her have grown weaker,but they're still there...I think...
Should I tell her and risk our friendship...Or should I not tell her and maybe regret it...
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Re: Love problems...

Postby simbafan » April 18th, 2010, 1:03 am

I cant really say man..its entirely down to you. You have to balance possible loss against possible gain.
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Re: Love problems...

Postby TheIvanMuse » April 18th, 2010, 1:10 am

I know...I feel like maybe I should just tell her and whatever happens happens.But I also have doubts about my feelings...
I really don't know...
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Re: Love problems...

Postby simbafan » April 18th, 2010, 1:55 am

It doesn't look like there's an easy way out man. Can you live with holding your feelings in?
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Re: Love problems...

Postby YFWE » April 18th, 2010, 3:09 am

Don't be the guy that tries to steal someone from someone else. You most certainly wouldn't want it done to you, would you? I think the best thing to do, especially if you value her friendship, is to let it be. Don't say anything. A friend of mine was in the exact same position as you and decided to take the other route and tell her. He no longer has her as a friend anymore because it got too weird for her.

If you can live with just being a friend, don't say anything. But if the basis of your friendship is you wanting to be something more with her (which I do hope it isn't), that's a bit harder. I do hope you don't try to steal her away from someone though.
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Re: Love problems...

Postby Czarine » April 18th, 2010, 7:14 pm

I had the same problem about a year ago and got rejected (except she wasn't taken... ouch), but we're still the best of friends. I consider myself lucky though, it could have gone all wrong.

By the way... I do actually think you should keep it to yourself, or at least speak to someone about it you trust not to pass it on. Life sucks sometimes and you can't always have your way. Even if the chance you win her for you vs. her current boyfriend are very small (aside from the fact that it's a very mean thing to do), it's not cool to hurt her either. Chances are she feels torn and all confused and actually ends up being depressed about it.

So yeah... Love is complicated and it sucks to love someone who's taken. But imo, that's all there is to it. Continue your life and try to see her as a friend rather than your love interest. You'll get used to it eventually.
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Re: Love problems...

Postby TheIvanMuse » April 19th, 2010, 11:56 am

You guys are right...It is a very mean thing to do,I guess I wasn't looking at the whole thing from all the prespectives.
It could end our friendship if i told her and I don't want that to happen.
So yeah,I'll let it be and move on...
Thanks for the advice guys,I really appreciate it.
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