A Prince's Wish

Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby divsalley » April 10th, 2010, 12:15 am

Glad you think so!!!
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby TheWhistlerify » April 10th, 2010, 4:44 pm

It's so cool that you upload a new episode every 2 days =D

Nice episode! I wonder what will Zahara say about that
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby Kina » April 11th, 2010, 6:17 pm

I enjoyed your last two chapters, Divsalley. They were really rich in character development, too. ^_^
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby YFWE » April 12th, 2010, 2:53 am

Many apologies for having been behind on this up to now! I promise you I hadn't forgotten about you nor thought the story was bad by any means... I just hadn't had the time to read ANY fanfics, let alone yours.

So that said, I think this is my favorite of what you've done so far. I mean I really, really like this. The character development is so good here... you've always been good with that, of course. I'm loving the storyline as well. And I'm VERY glad that you're finally breaking up your paragraphs as I recommended before. Everything looks so much more professional now.

Can't wait for the continuation. You're doing a marvelous job so far.
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby divsalley » April 12th, 2010, 10:53 am

Chapter Six: Growing Up



As time passed, Mohatu's already dark brown pelt grew darker and richer. His build was now changing from a cub's to a lion's. Makani was growing well, too. He looked exactly like Dhahabu when he was younger. But he had his mother's auburn eyes. Busara, too, was growing into a wonderful lioness. Her skills as a huntress were growing under her mother's tutelege. Dhahabu and Mahiri were proud of their cubs and were happy about the fact that they were still this close to each other. It was a relief to them that their Crown Prince was no longer worried about the decision that he would have to make in the future. Mohatu was back to being friendly with both Zahara and Tahiti. Zahara had also gotten over her fears and was now friends with Tahiti. So Mohatu, Tahiti, Makani, Zahara, and Busara had become close friends and spent a lot of time together. Gaea and Upendi, on the other hand were a little distant with each other because each of them was vying for a position in the Royal Family. Although they tried to be civil to each other, sometimes it was evident to everyone in the pride that they were having problems working together. But their King had made it very clear that he wouldn't entertain any hostility in his pride and that if they kept this up, they'd have to leave. So they remained silent for the time being.

"Come along, you guys!" Mohatu was telling his siblings who were following him to a surprise location along with Zahara and Tahiti.

"Mo, come on! Tell us where we're going!" Busara said, sounding a little annoyed.

"Patience, sis! You'll find out soon enough!" Mohatu said. Makani was smiling. He knew his brother well. He loved surprises.

"Alright, Mo... We're coming! By the way, I think I know where we're going," Makani said.

"Then I suggest you keep it to yourself!" Mohatu said as he smiled at his brother. Makani nodded and they set off in the direction of the northern border.

As they reached the valley, Mohatu looked at them and said, “Here we are! So… what do you wanna do here? This place is amazing for a lot of things! We’ve just got to make sure we don’t go near that mountain.”

They nodded as Tahiti said, “We could go exploring! There are a lot of places here we can go to!” Mohatu nodded at this. The valley branched out in many directions and much of it had been left unexplored. So today they’d decided to go around the valley. And everything was going just fine until midday, when things took a turn for the worse. It all began when Mohatu was talking to Zahara. Makani and Busara were playing with a few other cubs. But then the air was rent by a scream that chilled everyone there.

“What was that?” Mohatu asked as he looked at his friends. “Where’s Tahiti?” he asked as he looked more and more frantic by the minute. She was nowhere to be found. Then Mohatu looked at the mountain, which looked dismal with smoke rising out of it’s top. There he saw a tiny silhouette hanging on to one of the ledges.

“Tahiti!” Mohatu yelled as he ran forth to help her. The others looked on in horror as Mohatu slowly climbed the mountain to reach Tahiti. Just as he was about to reach the ledge Tahiti was on, he slipped and lost some of his footing. Just then, Mohatu heard a flapping sound. He looked around to find Nyuni.

“Nyuni, help! Tell my father to get here immediately. I’ll be fine! Just go get my father!” Mohatu said and finally got on. Then he bent down to help Tahiti.

“Tahiti, hold on! Grab my neck!” he said as he caught her by the scruff and tried to pull her back. With a great effort, he was able to pull her to safety. They fell back on the mountain with a grunt. But they were unhurt for the most part. Then they walked down as slowly as possible. When they were at the foot of the mountain, they were facing Dhahabu.

“Tahiti, please go join the rest of the cubs. Mohatu will be with you soon,” he said seriously. She nodded and joined the others. Then Dhahabu looked at his son with grave eyes. Mohatu was a little worried, but was relieved when his father’s lips curved into a proud smile.

“That was very brave of you, Mo. I’m proud of you,” he told his son.

“Thanks, dad… We’re all fine… I’ll see you in the evening,” Mohatu said. Dhahabu nodded at him and walked back home. Mohatu went to see Tahiti.

“Are you ok?” he asked her.

“I’m fine, Mohatu… Thanks for helping me,” she said as she smiled at him. Once again Mohatu was reminded of the tough decision ahead of him. He decided not to think about it too much, but it would be difficult when Zahara had made it clear that she was all for getting married once they grew up. He didn’t want to cause a rift between his two best friends… He really liked Zahara and cared for her, but every time he was with Tahiti, he felt the need to be with her all the time. He didn’t know what to do about the whole situation.

Time passed and Mohatu’s head had started to sprout a rich, dark brown mane. He’d grown longer and his chest grew broader. His legs grew muscular and gave him a build that matched his father’s and grandfather’s. Makani was growing well, too. The brothers often dueled each other for practice and it was usually an even match. Busara’s prowess as a hunter had grown drastically. Mahiri was very proud of how well she was doing. Things were going well for all of them. Mohatu hadn’t given much thought to the whole situation involving Zahara and was friends with both her and Tahiti, too. But he knew that when the time came to choose, it would have to be what he wanted and not something he was expected to do. Then one day, everything changed… and he would never feel the same way again…

It was a bright, sunny morning. Mohatu had run out of Pride Rock to meet his friends by the meadow. As he got there, he found Tahiti resting by a corner. He went up to her and sat with her.

“Hi!” Mohatu said slowly. “What’re doing here all by yourself?”

Tahiti looked at him and said, “I miss my dad,” she said slowly. Mohatu didn’t know what to say. She’d never talked about her father before.

“What happened to him?” he asked her slowly.

“He died… Our pride was ambushed and he was killed in the fight. I was very young, so he asked my mother to take me away somewhere else just before he died… I remember him still, but vaguely. Every day my memory of him fades away more, and it upsets me because I don’t want to forget him,” she said slowly.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Tahiti… I don’t know what it’s like to not have a dad… and I guess it’s not fun to find out… All I want to say is, if you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me,” Mohatu said.

Tahiti looked at him for a second, then she leaned in to nuzzle him. He didn’t know how to respond at first, but something about this felt wonderful to him. So he nuzzled her back. Then he smiled at her as she looked at him with those beautiful, amber eyes.

“I really like you, Tahiti,” he told her slowly. “I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone else.”

“I like you, too, Mohatu,” she said and nuzzled him once more. And from that moment on, Mohatu knew it was hopeless. There was nothing else to it. He’d have to tell Zahara that he couldn’t marry her.
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby divsalley » April 12th, 2010, 10:57 am

@ Kina: I'm glad you like it! Read the 6th chapter!

@ YFWE: Wow! I'm glad you think so! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story,too!
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby TheWhistlerify » April 12th, 2010, 11:22 am

Very good chapter! You're stories are very inspirational :)
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
My 'The Lion King' fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10370841/1/
My 'Pokémon' fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9017329/1/
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby divsalley » April 12th, 2010, 3:52 pm

[quote="TheWhistlerify"]Very good chapter! You're stories are very inspirational :)[/quote]
Thanks!!! Glad you think so!!!
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby TheWhistlerify » April 12th, 2010, 4:20 pm

Does siblings mean family members? =O
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
My 'The Lion King' fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10370841/1/
My 'Pokémon' fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9017329/1/
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Re: A Prince's Wish

Postby divsalley » April 12th, 2010, 9:09 pm

[quote="TheWhistlerify"]Does siblings mean family members? =O[/quote]

Well, your brothers and sisters are your siblings. :)
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