Life in the Pridelands

Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby JesstheCougress » March 26th, 2010, 9:18 pm

it's excellent! one thing i noticed though, and it threw me for a bit of a loop. the part where Zira meets that colossal lion you put "kiara spun around and nearly lost her footing" i was all "huh? where did kiara come from?" but other than that, this piece is amazing! keep up the good work!
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby PrincessKiara » March 26th, 2010, 9:35 pm

I was a bit puzzled by the fact that Kovu was the one showing his son the kingdom and explaining his responsibilities as future king.. I mean, Kiara is the one of royal birth, she had all the training.. It just makes more sense to me to have her give this kind of lessons.

That’s just my opinion, though. :)
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azdgari » March 28th, 2010, 6:24 pm

Jess-- The Zira thing was, yes, the attack of the dreaded typo. =P Thanks for pointing it out, and for the kind words. =]
Princess Kiara--Yeah, in hindsight that would've probably made a bit more sense. I guess I got the idea it was kind of a father-child thing just because of the way it had been done in the movies, but I guess Kiara would probably have had more experience. Either way, I'd intended for her to be the one who ends up talking more deeply about with Kivu about his place in the kingdom as things progress, so I think it'll work out in the end. Hopefully. Thanks for the crit! =D
Kina-- Thanks! Means a lot to me. =]

New chapter up. It was written mostly while I was very sleepy or very stressed, and I'm not as happy with it as the rest, but hey, what can you do. =P
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby PrincessKiara » March 28th, 2010, 10:42 pm

Oh ok, I see! :) Nice new chapter too, exciting to learn more about this other pride.
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Kina » March 29th, 2010, 3:28 pm

Your fourth chapter was very good, actually. No worries about the quality. *huggles* Each chapter makes plenty of progress, it seems. I'll definitely be looking forward to more. ^_^
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azdgari » March 30th, 2010, 3:38 pm

Updated again! Thought since I'd been focusing on some other characters, I needed to do a chapter for Kovu and Kiara, so here it is. =]
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Kina » March 30th, 2010, 8:14 pm

Another excellent chapter, Azdgari. I'm glad to see the progress you're making, too. I only have one minor suggestion since you keep adding to the first post. You may want to try bolding and/or italicizing the chapter titles, so it stands out more. Other than that, you're good. ;)
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Azdgari » April 2nd, 2010, 12:10 pm

Thanks, Kina! =D

Updated again. This thing is starting to grow in scope.

Now where have you seen blue eyes here on MLK? ...*eyes tail down*
Last edited by Azdgari on April 2nd, 2010, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby PrincessKiara » April 2nd, 2010, 12:59 pm

Wow, two great new chapters! The last one was especially good, the scene with Tama and the buffalo really got my heart racing. Excellent, I’m looking forward to more! :D
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Re: Life in the Pridelands

Postby Kina » April 2nd, 2010, 4:42 pm

Chapter Six was a fantastic chapter, Azdgari. Like PrincessKiara said, it had a wonderful setting and mood. Not to mention, we get to see your OC in action. ^_^
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