What are you thinking RIGHT NOW?

[linnea]

Lewlize - I know the feeling

[KopsTheTerminator]

Man my sig looks awful on MLK Kisasa.

[Carl]

@ Kay and Amber
[spoiler]Yeah, I see where you're coming from, and I fully expected to get sore all the time, especially in my back which is usually sore anyway because of... stupid body stuff. I also expected to have trouble out of my bad leg since I can't wear my brace for it to work, but I never would have anticipated that my foot on that leg would go numb for over 22 hours. I had to call out this morning on account of not being able to stand long with it like this.

I also did technically receive a check already, but it doesn't really motivate me much. I don't get paid enough to buy stuff and pay on my loans and save for surgery, which honestly leaves me feeling like I'm going nowhere and will hate myself forever. It also doesn't get me closer to getting the right kind of work since it's not experience in the same field. I know quitting would be bad, but I'm just so fed up and the destruction of their illusion of caring about their employees didn't help at all.

I could talk to them about cutting my hours, and I might, but I don't think they're going to. Turns out the only reason they hired me is because they're understaffed on dish washers. They've got most of the other ones doing two or three shifts a day and tried to get me to stay longer yesterday when mine was done. They also replaced one of my days off with another 6 hour shift and tried to get me to take more shifts than that even. I'd be less bothered by it if my stupid body could do anything right, and I know normal people work that long all the time, but I don't know. I mean I barely get anything to drink when I'm there and no food or breaks either? Everything about it rubs me the wrong way.

I'd honestly rather never have money at all than work my hind end off and get so little I can't even try to reach the most important goal I have. What's the point of hating life more than I already do if it's not going to get me any closer to not being female? Especially with all my coworkers addressing me that way... I'm not suicidal or anything but I kind of want to just not be alive or just anything other than what I get.

I keep trying to see positives. I keep reminding myself that I'll be able to buy comic books or movies or games, and even trying to delude myself into believing I'll be able to go to things like Walker Stalker Con, but I struggle to find any of that worth this if I can't also work toward what's important to me. [/spoiler]

And I also hope you get to feeling better soon, Kay.

[Marizzle]

[quote="lelizwe"]I turn 18 a week today and I'm not at all prepared for adult life. Can we just go back to when I was 15 and I could sleep for like 14 hours a day? I miss that. I really do.[/quote]
I'll be turning 19 in September and you pretty much described my days. Just kidding, I don't sleep that much...

[linnea]

Maggy - Yeah it's exciting^^

[xKendo]

[quote="Marizzle"][quote="lelizwe"]I turn 18 a week today and I'm not at all prepared for adult life. Can we just go back to when I was 15 and I could sleep for like 14 hours a day? I miss that. I really do.[/quote]
I'll be turning 19 in September and you pretty much described my days. Just kidding, I don't sleep that much... [/quote]

Pff, you're late
You can still sleep 14 hours on weekends but then you will think that you wasted your precious time (which you don't have much) just sleeping Although it's cool how, before, I couldn't stay awake 'till 4am and now I can do that pretty easily

[Marizzle]

^Better than staying up until 4 AM? Staying up until 6 AM.

[xKendo]

^"Oh look at me, I'm so badass"
It's was an EXAMPLE, Ma'am. I know how it is

[Marizzle]

[quote="xKendo"]^"Oh look at me, I'm so badass"
It's was an EXAMPLE, Ma'am. I know how it is [/quote]
I never said anything, not my fault.

[xKendo]

^Wanna fight? :v