I'm so pathetic. I'm so stressed about this job already that I just wanna bail. What's wrong with me? I wish I could see a therapist and get to the bottom of this. I'm so weak-willed about these things. It's utterly ridiculous. I should be better than this. I'm so disappointed in myself. How can I expect to succeed at anything if I just keep quitting? On the other hand, not quitting things that I had bad feelings about is what got me into this mess... I don't know.
Ugh I'm whining about things most people just
do again. Yeah he--or anyone else worth my time--would never be interested in me. I don’t even have the fight in me to do what I have to to even
attempt to reach my goals.
What am I supposed to do? What steps can I even take? How do I improve anything? I want to be the awesome person I know I can be, but I haven't got a clue how to do that. Nothing makes sense, it's all over my head and super stressful...
Maybe I shouldn't be bothered when people don't see me as a man... I'm just a child. A frightened, miserable, pathetic little boy. I honestly feel like I'm letting everyone down just by being stressed and frustrated.

Why can't I find any paying jobs that are comparable to what I do for MLK? It can be stressful from time to time, of course, but I actually take pride in what I do here and feel like what I'm doing matters.