Amused, with a bit of underlying meh. It's been so quiet this week that while it hasn't ruined my mood I was thinking about my ex a lot earlier and missing her again. I know people are busy but going out of my comfort zone to be more included... hasn't really made me feel more included. My "exile" may have been self-imposed, but I dunno. I don't really have anywhere else to go and I'm just so bad at talking to people. Usually it's fine, and I know it's nothing personal, but sometimes... I miss having the kind of relationships that I thought I had before. I'm too distrustful of people for that now though. Not to mention I have no interest in meeting new people or making
new friends right now and am in fact trying to figure out ways to avoid being actually seen by people as much as possible. I just wish I were closer to more of the few friends I do have, so maybe they'd wanna chat sometimes.
But then about half of all days I'd prefer seclusion and probably some people think they're going to annoy me, especially with how much I complain about people and wanting to be left alone. And I probly scare some people cos well, I can be kinda... I have a strong personality, let's just say that, lol.
Ahaha why am I so contradictory and weird?
