"The Pride That Never Was"

[KiarasMate]

Another very satisfying chapter you've written here Akril. ^^ Again, your attention to detail and use of familiar story plots from TLK2SP were nothing short of brilliant and really made this chapter shine. I like the added twist upon the Outlander's lair. Great job as always and keep up the fantastic work. ^^ Looking forward to the next chapter as always.

[Akril]

[quote="ograndebatata"]I'm not sure whether you really needed to have the Outlanders living in a crystal cave, I guess an old termite nest suits them better, and it has ventilation, but perhaps a crystal cave is better - it may give some light into their very gloomy life.[/quote]
Some early storyboards for SP showed Shani sneaking into the Outlanders' lair, and it was a huge cave filled with crystals. I thought it was such a beautiful idea that I felt it deserved to be used in this story.

In fact, the whole "pebble dropping, alerting Shani to Kovu's presence" part was taken directly from the storyboards from the cave scene. And while Kiara was still called Shani in this scene, Kovu was called Kovu, which is another reason I didn't call him by one of his rumored earlier names, Nunka.

[quote]Oh, and just for the record, I'm very happy to know Timon and Pumbaa will be in this fanfic. Thank you for telling me.[/quote]
You're very welcome!

[YFWE]

Wooooooonderful! I loved the detail in this especially. The description of the Outlander's cave was pretty cool... that would most certainly be a sight to see. Nice action writing there toward the end of the chapter as well... it did feel perhaps a bit too short, but it was still enjoyable and was something I didn't see coming. Good cliffhanger-ish device there at the end, too. Next chapter should be just as thrilling, I have a feeling.

[Skittakallista]

Yet another great chapter! I liked the descri[tion of the crystal cave - sounds like a playground for cubs to me! I'd like to see a picture of this version of Kovu though, as he is now Scars son he'll look different of course. And yeah, Nunka does sound a little silly! When I first heard it I thought of a coconut hitting someone on the head ("Nunk"). It also sounds too close to Nuka. Is he going to be in this comic?

[Akril]

Skittakallista: I guess I might as well break the news now -- Nuka isn't going to appear in this story. It's not that I don't like Nuka, but I'm already juggling more than a half-dozen characters as it is, and I felt that this retellling of SP could be told just as effectively without him (sorry, Nuka fans).



Chapter Five:


"Wow," Shani gasped when she finally had breath enough to speak. "That was close!"

The dark cub nodded weakly, still a bit shaken from the experience. Shani peered inquisitively at him.

"Hey," she asked, "where did you learn that trick?"

"What trick?" the cub asked.

"The one where you grabbed my neck like that."

"Oh," the cub said. "I've seen my mother picking up my sister like that a lot. She does it with me too, and I thought it might work with you."

"Wow," Shani repeated. "Well it sure did..."

She looked deeply into the cub's green eyes.

"You were really brave," she said softly.

The cub smiled modestly.

"Well, you were pretty brave too," he admitted. Then he proudly puffed out his chest.

"My name's Kovu," he said.

Shani smiled, happy to finally know this strange cub's name.

"I'm Shani," she said.

Kovu grinned. Then he glanced around nervously at the lush trees and tall grass that surrounded the clearing they were standing in.

"I -- I really gotta go home now," he said in a hushed voice. "I shouldn't be here."

Shani's face fell.

"But we've just met," she protested. "Couldn't you just stay and play for a little while?"

Kovu stared quizzically at her.

"Play?" he asked. "Play what?"

"You know," Shani said, "tag, chase, hide-and-seek...you know, those kind of things!"

Kovu still looked confused. Shani began to grow confused as well. Then she remembered how Kovu had first acted when they had met. She dropped into a crouch and swished her tail, mock-growling at Kovu. Kovu's confusion slowly changed to recognition -- now this was a kind of "play" he was familiar with. He too crouched down and started snarling, his claws out, ready for Shani to "attack" him.

Suddenly, a large shadow blocked out the sunlight and a rumbling growl filled the air. Kovu looked up to see an angry golden lion with a red mane towering over him. Before he could turn and flee, however, he heard something burst out of the bushes behind him. He wheeled around to see a gaunt, scruffy, pale lioness standing over him. She roared fiercely at the lion, whose anger shifted from Kovu to her.

"Bianca," he growled.

The lioness bared her teeth in a vicious snarl. Kovu glanced around, trying to see where Shani had gone. He soon spotted her peering out nervously from behind one of the lion's forelegs. He also noticed that the lion was not alone: there were several lionesses gathered behind him, as well as a rhinoceros with a pair of hornbills perched on its head. In his terrified state, Kovu didn't know why a rhino would be in the company of lions, let alone one with two hornbills on its head, and he doubted that he would know why even if he weren't so frightened.

"Well, well, Simba," Bianca purred maliciously. "We meet again."

She looked down at Kovu, who was cowering between her front paws.

"Though I believe this is the first time you've met my son, Kovu," she added.

Simba glared coldly down at Kovu, who shrank away from him even more. Then Simba returned his gaze to Bianca.

"Well, now that I have met him," he said, "Both you and he can leave -- now."

Bianca's face took on a perturbed look.

"Goodness, how rude," she exclaimed. "I would think you of all lions would greet Scar's son with a little more respect than that."

Simba looked confused for a moment, then looked down at Kovu again. As he did, a wave of shock broke over him. He hadn't realized it at first, but now that he examined Kovu more closely, the resemblance between the little cub and Scar was impossible to overlook. Shani was staring at Kovu as well, wide-eyed at what she was hearing. That cruel-looking lioness was Kovu's mother...and his father was the lion that killed Shani's grandfather?

Simba shook his head and glared at Bianca once more.

"I've warned you not to return the Pride Lands, Bianca." he rumbled.

"The Pride Lands belong to Scar," Bianca snarled. "One day, Simba, we will return to these lands. They are our rightful home..."

She placed one paw protectively around Kovu.

"...and when that day comes, Kovu will take his place as the rightful king."

Simba's eyes narrowed.

"Enough," he said coldly. "Both of you get out. And if I find any of you near my children again, don't think I'll be this merciful a second time."

He gently picked Shani up in his mouth and turned to leave. Craning her neck, Shani was just able to see Kovu being picked up by his mother, who also turned and started walking away. Shani waved in Kovu's direction, and Kovu weakly waved back as they were carried away by their respective parents.


The sun was starting to grow low in the sky. Chaka was sitting on a large, flat slab of stone near the base of Pride Rock. With him were Timon and Pumbaa, the meerkat and warthog duo who had saved Simba's life when he was a cub and had been his closest friends ever since.

Timon had the halves of three large nut shells placed open-side down in a neat row on the smooth stone, and was holding a small, dead beetle in one hand. Chaka watched intently as Timon placed the beetle under one of the shells, then quickly shuffled them.

"All right, kid," he said, stepping back from the shells. "Which one?"

Chaka stared thoughtfully at the row of shells, then gestured at the one in the center. Timon lifted it to reveal that there was nothing underneath it.

"Ooh, tough luck, Chaka," he said. "Wanna try again?"

Chaka shrugged.

"All right," he said.

Timon upturned the remaining two shells and located the beetle under the one on his left. He placed the insect under the shell in the center, then began shuffling the shells again.

"Watch the shells, watch the shells," he said quietly.

"Chaka, there's no way you're gonna win that game," said Timira, who was watching them from a few feet away.

"He sure won't if you distract him like that," Timon said without looking up. He stopped shuffling the shells and stepped back, and after a few seconds, Chaka picked the shell in the center again. Timon flipped it over, and Chaka grinned triumphantly to see the beetle sitting underneath it.

"Well, I'll be," Timon said, picking the beetle up, "Looks like we have a winner here, folks!"

"So where's that prize you said he would get if he won?" Timira asked.

"Eh..." Timon said uneasily. "Um...right here!"

He spoke these last two words proudly as he held the beetle out to Chaka.

"Here you are, kid. One of the finest delicacies of the Pride Lands, all yours."

Chaka looked dubiously at the dead beetle.

"Uh...I think I'll pass, Timon," he said.

"You sure about that?" Timon asked.

Chaka nodded.

"Okay, whatever you say," Timon said, preparing to bite into the beetle.

"Hey, Timon, can I play now?" Pumbaa asked. "Please?"

Timon froze, then looked at the beetle he was about to eat and sighed.

"Okay, Pumbaa," he said disappointedly.

"Hey Chaka, look!" Timira suddenly exclaimed. "It's your mom!"

Chaka turned to see Nala, Zazu, Binti, Winston, and two of the lionesses from Simba's pride approaching Pride Rock. He and Timira ran excitedly towards them, leaving Timon and Pumbaa to their game.

"Mom, what happened?" Chaka cried as he neared Nala. "Where's Dad and Shani?"

"Don't worry, they're all right," Nala said reassuringly.

"But where are they?"

Nala looked over her shoulder and gestured towards a small hill some distance away. Simba's bright red mane was hard to overlook, but Shani was nothing more than a speck of gold from this far away.

"What's going on?" Timira asked.

"Shani got into a lot of trouble today. Her father wanted to talk to her about it alone."

Just the tone of her voice was enough to convey the seriousness of the situation. Both Chaka and Timira nodded silently in response. They watched Simba and Shani in silence for a few moments, then Chaka spoke again:

"Hey, they've stopped talking! They're coming over here!"

"Can we see her now?" Timira asked.

"Well, all right," Nala said. "But I don't want to hear any mocking or teasing from either of you."

The cubs nodded and bounded off towards Simba and Shani. Contrary to what Chaka had said, Simba and Shani were still talking as they approached Pride Rock, though Simba was doing most of the talking.

"Remember," Simba told Shani gently, "You are a very valuable member of the pride. As the king's sister, you are the second most important lioness in the pride. You will advise him when he is in need of advice, protect him when he is defenseless, and even act as king for him if he is preoccupied elsewhere. Do this, and in a way, you'll be just as powerful as him, Shani."

It was certainly a lot of information to be given to such a little cub, and Simba was sure he would have to tell it to her again eventually, but the wide-eyed look and the solemn nod Shani gave when he had finished speaking convinced him that she truly understood what he meant.

Chaka and Timira's arrival quickly broke the solemn feeling of that moment, however.

"Shani, what happened?" Chaka asked.

"Yeah, what happened?" Timira echoed.

Shani eagerly scampered over to them, and Simba decided to leave her be. She had gone through more than enough lecturing for one day.

"Timira, I went to the Outlands!" Shani whispered excitedly. "I found this big cave with huge crystals on the inside and then I got chased by crocodiles!"

"Wow," gasped Chaka and Timira simultaneously.

"And I met this cub named Kovu, and he helped me escape from the crocodiles!"

More sounds of amazement came from the other two cubs. Then a look of fear crossed Timira's face. She leaned closer to Shani and spoke in a voice that Chaka couldn't hear:

"Shani," she said nervously, "You didn't tell, did you?"

"Tell what?"

"About me telling you about the Outlands and distracting Binti and Zazu so you could go there...Please tell me you didn't tell on me, Shani."

Shani smiled at Timira.

"I would never tell on you, Timira," she whispered. "You're my friend."

Timira breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks," she said gratefully.

"No problem."

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Chaka asked, leaning closer to his sister.

"Nothing," Shani said quickly.

Chaka rolled his eyes.

"Come on, I know you were talking about something. What was it?"

Shani paused, then smirked.

"We were talking about what you and Timira are going to name your babies after you two are married," she said.

Chaka grimaced while Timira stifled a giggle. There was a brief pause, then Chaka spoke again:

"Shani?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you meet any other lions when you were in the Outlands?"

"Well, kind of," Shani said. "When Dad found me, this scary lioness who said she was Kovu's mother showed up. Dad called her Bianca."

Bianca? Chaka remembered that name all too well from the talk Simba had given him earlier that day...Bianca, the lioness who was Scar's mate, the one who had tried to kill Simba, the one who had an entire pride of lionesses faithful to Scar living in that desolate wasteland on the other side of the Zuberi River...

"Huh...what was Bianca like, Shani?" Chaka asked. "What did she say?"

Shani told him everything she could remember. Chaka listened intently to her words, saying nothing, but thinking a lot.

[KiarasMate]

lol, well, my comments are going to be somewhat shorter from here on out, since I don't want to keep repeating the same praise over and over to you Akril, but as always, this was a marvelous chapter. ^^ This was still a fantastic chapter and all my original praise still stands strong. Love the story and can't wait till the next chapter. Keep up the amazing work my friend. ^^

[YFWE]

Good chapter, Akril! It wasn't INCREDIBLY captivating but you did make good use of applying Zira and Simba's altercation in SP to the altercation between Bianca and Simba. And as always, the interactions between the cubs are a delight to read. Looking forward to chapter six!

[Mizan]

being the one all you faithful readers can thank for motivating Akril to write this, I must comment myself.

First of all, I probably risk being pelted with rotten tomatoes after hearing all the praise you've gotten on this story, but frankly I wasn't that impressed with it. I read "The Road Less Traveled" a few days ago and this little fic pales in comparison. It's much less descriptive and doesn't paint as vivid a picture in my mind, nor is it nearly as captivating.

Granted, it is supposed to be an altercation of SP, and SP is flawed to begin with...even so, I feel like this story is a bit rushed, and hastily written. (maybe I have myself to blame for this urging you on as I have...) perhaps it's my own knowledge of description and detail in story writing that makes this apparent to me.

On a more positive note, in later chapters when Bianca and Kovu appear, it does get more interesting. And I have to admit that I can hear some of the characters speaking the dialogue you chose, even if it is a bit awkward and hastily written. And I feel some of the sentences you've written are a bit unnecessary, though it's hard to explain that.

With the absence of Nuka, I only hope that you can capture Shetani's character as vividly as you did in The Road Less Traveled and give her more "screentime" likewise.

[Akril]

Hello, Mizan. I was wondering when I'd hear your input on this story.

I confess that all the points you made are valid ones. Yes, this story was written in a bit of a hurry, and I didn't put nearly as much effort into it as I did with "The Road Less Traveled". I admitted right on the first post of this thread that I felt that this story wasn't my best work.

I originally meant for this story to be a short one that was essentially SP with a few different characters, (though at over 40 pages, I guess it doesn't really qualify as "short" now). I've been going through a period where inspiration doesn't seem to come as easily to me as it once did, and I'm afraid this story might show it.

I'm sorry that you weren't satisfied with what you've read so far, and I'm not sure whether the chapters that follow will be better or worse. Still, the story is pretty much finished now, and except for a few minor edits, there won't be many changes to it.

[Chapters Six and Seven are both fairly short, so I'll post both of them today to make up for their brevity.]




Chapter Six:


Bianca carried Kovu into the great cave that the Outsiders had made their home. The light inside was even poorer than usual because of the low sun, but Bianca was used to the darkness, and she knew the caverns so well that she could find her way through them even if she were completely blind.

The tunnel that led to the lair's entrance sloped downward into a large central cavern. A large hole in the cave's ceiling provided ample light when the sun was high in the sky, but now this cavern was just as dark as any of the other caverns that branched off of it. Bianca could see several of her pride sisters lounging about near the cavern's walls. Many of them had been lank and scrawny even before their exile, and most of them had dark fur that had grown dull from the harsh existence they now endured in the unforgiving Outlands. Lying in the center of the cavern, chewing on a small stick, was Bianca's daughter, Shetani.

Shetani was a scruffy little cub that looked hardly anything like her brother. Her tan fur was somewhat darker than her mother's, but her eyes were neither green nor red but a brilliant blue. Bianca faintly recalled her own mother having eyes like that.

Noticing Bianca, Shetani dropped her stick and trotted up to her.

"Hey, Kovu, where've you been?" she said gruffly. "I've been looking for you all afternoon!"

Bianca dropped Kovu onto the cave floor and glared warningly at Shetani. Shetani, realizing that her mother was in one of her bad moods, quietly backed off. Kovu trembled as his mother turned to face him.

"What were you thinking?" she snarled. "Haven't I told you to stay away from the Pride Lands?"

Several of the lionesses, including Shetani, pricked up their ears upon hearing this.

"Y-yes, but -- " Kovu protested.

"Who made us Outsiders?" Bianca growled.

"Simba!" Kovu said, starting to back away from his irate mother.

"Who killed your father?"

"Simba!"

"And what have I told you about them?" Bianca thundered.

Kovu cowered before his mother, saying nothing for a moment. Shetani silently watched the scene, both curious and fearful at the same time.

"But -- " Kovu stammered, "But -- that girl Pridelander...she didn't act like you said they do...I -- I thought..."

"You thought you'd make friends with her?" Bianca said scornfully, turning away from Kovu in disgust. "Make friends with the daughter of the lion who has exiled us in the hopes that he might decide to accept you? Of all the stupid, ridiculous -- "

She halted in mid-sentence, her face frozen in an odd expression. Then the corners of her mouth curled into a wide smile.

" -- cunning, ingenious ideas I've ever heard," she concluded in a voice that was now warm and motherly. Kovu stared dubiously at her as she turned to face him again.

"My dear son, you truly are your father's son. You have the same brilliant, scheming mind that he did. Yes...yes, I can see it all clearly now..."

"See what?" Kovu asked, thoroughly confused by now.

"No, no," Bianca said gently, stroking Kovu's back with her paw. "Let's wait until tomorrow to start putting the plan together."

Kovu blinked sleepily. Bianca glanced up and noticed that many of the lionesses had drawn closer during her talk with him, and were now watching her expectantly. Their eyes glowed eerily in the dark cavern.

"We have much work ahead of us, Kovu," Bianca said, half to him, half to the lionesses surrounding her. "But one day, my son, we will take back the Pride Lands...and you shall be the new king."



Chapter Seven:


In the weeks that followed, Simba made sure that Shani was watched very closely to make sure that she didn't try to enter the Outlands again. However, Shani herself had no desire to return there. Her close call with the crocodiles had been frightening enough, but it wasn't that that made her afraid to venture back there -- it was Bianca. Something about that encounter with her had truly frightened Shani, and she didn't dare want to risk running into her again. Barely escaping the crocodiles may have been terrifying, but it paled into comparison to the sinister way Bianca spoke and acted.

Still, Shani found herself staring at the Outlands many times as the months went on. She also found her thoughts constantly wandering back to that dark little cub with the tuft of black mane on his head: Kovu. Why didn't he know what playing was? Why did he have to live in a place like the Outlands? Was he thinking of her as well?

Simba was often thinking about Kovu as well, but for very different reasons. What Bianca had told him that day he had first encountered Kovu troubled him. Was Kovu truly Scar's son, and what was Bianca going to do to ensure that Kovu became the next king? He had a vague idea of what she might have meant by that, and he didn't like it one bit.

If Simba had only known that Bianca was expecting when he had exiled her...but if he had let her stay in the Pridelands long enough to give birth, what would he have done afterwards? Exile her and her comrades and let Kovu remain in the Pridelands to receive a proper upbringing, or simply kick all of them out once Kovu was old enough? Neither solution seemed very promising, and it was useless to dwell on such things that had already happened. Put your past behind you, as Timon used to say.

Though Nala tried to reassure Simba that perhaps Kovu wouldn't grow into the tyrant that Scar had been, Simba simply couldn't help worrying. Though Bianca's first act of revenge against Simba had been a failure, Simba was certain that she would try again...however, the question of when she would was still a mystery to him.


As time passed and Chaka, Shani and Timira grew older, Kovu slowly began to drift from Simba's mind. There was still much to teach the three cubs, and Simba was trying his hardest to educate them to the best of his abilities. He slowly grew more confident in his teaching abilities, and as the cubs became adolescents, he could see that his efforts were definitely starting to pay off.

Chaka accepted the responsibilities of a future king with a solemn grace. He understood the sad fact that Simba wouldn't be there for him when he took his place as king, and thus he took every word that his father said to heart. Since neither of them knew what the future would hold for them, they spent as much time together as they could, whether it was time spent playing or learning.

Though Shani also willingly accepted her place as the king's sister, she was much more carefree and innocent than her brother. Even when Chaka's mane started to come in, Shani was still trying to get him to play with her. Even when Chaka refused, Shani wouldn't be hurt at all, and would often find some other way to entertain herself. Chasing birds was still a favorite pastime of hers.

Though Timira lost none of her sly wit and mischief as she grew older, she began to develop an elegant, noble grace that few lionesses possessed, even as mature adults. She walked with a steady, almost liquid movement, and when she ran, her sleek, dark body flexed like a cheetah's. In many ways, she began to remind Simba of his mother, Sarabi.

Dear Sarabi...brave, loyal, Sarabi, who had passed away just a few days after Simba's cubs were born...how he missed her. After so many sad years without him, she was finally reunited with her beloved Mufasa. Simba sometimes wished that she could be with him now, helping him teach her grandchildren how to become rulers just as great as she and Mufasa were...but perhaps it was for the best that she was gone. Perhaps witnessing the birth of her grandchildren was the last thing she wanted to do in this world before she left.


As the cubs in the Pridelands grew up, so did the cubs in the Outlands. Kovu was becoming stronger and fiercer under Bianca's strict training, and even as an adolescent, he could defeat an opponent nearly twice his size. Day after day, Bianca pounded into him the reason why she was training him so roughly: Scar was the rightful king, and Pride Lands were their rightful home. Simba killed Scar and took over the Pride Lands, then exiled all who supported him. It was Kovu's duty to avenge his father's death and kill Simba. Then and only then would justice be done.

Shetani was undergoing some of Bianca's training as well, and though she wasn't nearly as large and muscular as her brother, she was still quick and vicious. Her desire to win back her rightful home was just as strong as Kovu's. What happened after Simba was taken care of didn't matter at the moment; all that truly mattered was reclaiming Kovu's rightful place as king.

The wise old mandrill Rafiki was well aware of all this. He had his ways of gleaning knowledge from the world around him without even leaving the safety of the large baobab tree where he lived. This was how he had determined that Simba was alive long after everyone else assumed he was dead.

When Rafiki had learned about Kovu, he spent many nights pondering over the significance of the son of the lion whose reign had devastated the Pride Lands so severely. He had even drawn a figure of Kovu on the inside of his tree next to the drawings he had made of Shani and Chaka, and spent much time gazing at it.

Time, it seemed, flew by at an incredible speed. Seasons came and went, and soon the time came for Rafiki to add manes to the drawings of Chaka and Kovu: A rich brown one for Chaka, a thick black one for Kovu. Two princes, both of them seeking the same throne, Rafiki thought. How will this turn out?

[ograndebatata]

Well, for one, I'm sorry for being here rather late - I apologize, because I find this story a very interesting reading. But still, I'm here, and well, a few of the concepts still sound somewhat odd to me, like Zira being Bianca and Vitani being Shetani, but I'm getting more used to that.

Also, I wonder who is Shetani's father - if it is also Scar. Oh, and I'm very happy for Timon and Pumbaa already having made a cameo - and even being contributing in a way for Chaka's education, because that game of the shells helps to test attention, I guess. I love Timon and Pumbaa, but considering how they managed to create Simba to adulthood (no small predicament, I guess) they seem to have done a somewhat poor job on Simba's Pride as babysitters. Who created a lion to adulthood like that should be better.

I wonder how the events will unfold from now on.