Kopa`s BIG adventure.

[KopaFan13]

One bright sunny morning Kopa just woke up and was very excited because it was his birthday he was now six.Simba, Nala, Kiara and Sarabi forumed a line one by one giving Kopa presents.After Simba let Kiara and kopa play so they went to play.Kopa saw this big land it was called The Dark Lands Simba told Kopa not to go there but it looked so cool Kopa went in it any way.It had lots of sticky mud suddenly he heard somting come from the bushes then a lion cub popped out.He was brown with a darker brown tuff he said,"My names kovu" in a proud voice and kopa said,"Im Kopa" in a scared voice.Kovu said to Kopa that he was lost and Kopa asked him where he was from Kovu said he was from the outlands.kopa said,"I kow where that is follow me" but they kept going in circuls they were both lost.Poor Kopa and Kovu just then kovu had an idea they could explore and ask someone for directions kopa agreed.



They saw a Big lion Kovu asked him were was Pride Rock The lion stared at them then said,"I want to eat you" it was a bear not a lion.They both said,"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" they could hardly breath then kopa saw that there was a cliff and stoped but Kovu didnt.Kovu flew off the cliff but managed to grab on the rock's were falling and so was Kovu he thought it was the end but kopa grapped him and pulled him up.Then the bear flew off the cliff Kovu said thank you and they both walked off together.It was getting dark and it was both there bed times so they found a rock to lie on they slept on it for tomorrow all Kopa wanted was a good birthday.Back at home everyone was worried Kiara was crying for five minitets Simba roared and roared on top of Pride Rock while Nala cried and cried.Kovus family missed him too both familys made a search party.The next morning they walked about looking for home they bumped into a lion cub it was kiara Kopa and Kiara huged and kovu looked at her he recognized her of course he bumprd into her.So all three went looking for someone to give them directions.They were so hungry but then Kiara saw a small piece of meat only one lion could eat it.They all agreed that Kopa could have it.

Days went on the lion cubs grew hungryer each day and there familys missed more and more each day.The three cubs saw a cave they could stay in so they walked inside it seemed warm and cosey.Kovu smelt something it was a ..............TIGER! they jumped in fright and ran as fast as they could but then a bigger lion saved them.He said,"my names Supa" he was an adult lion and tryed to help them get home.Supa gave them some food He told them that the Dark Lands were dangerous and it had many wierd animals.Suddenly they heard a noise it was a cheetta one of the fastest animals it attacked Supa they started to fight.Supa chased it away the three cubs cheered.Kovu heard something it was a loud roar ,"ROAAAAAAAR" They all ran towards the noise it was a lioness having a cub.Supa liked this lioness she liked him aswell.The three cubs looked in amazement they had never saw a cub being born before.It finally was born and was called Marlly it was a boy.Marlly was brown with a black tuff and one white paw he was cute.Kiara wanted cubs so much she said,"I want to grow up fast" she shouted it and Marlly was scared.

Supa asked the lioness if she wanted to join them he told her the whole story she said yes in a sweet voice.Kopa could see they were falling in love.Off they went Kopa was whistling,"Stop wistling!"Kovu Shouted Kopa stopped right away.They stoped at a lake it was a lovley clean lake.kiara jumped in it she was trying to get clean.Supa lifted her and put her on they ground her fur was puffy from being in the water.Kopa laughed at her and then she put her tail on her head and stuck out her toung.She said,"Im Kopa haha" Kopa was mad and Kovu rolled his eyes.Marlly laughed for the first time the lioness was delighted.

Supa saw another lion ahead the went over to the lion it was Simba.Kopa and Kiara said at the same time,"DAD!" they ran over to him and hugged him.he said to them why there were there they didnt tell.They went home and left there new friends Kovu retuned to his home Kopa and Kiara were finally home.Nala hugged them and licked them and cleaned.he fell in love with vitani .

Zira was mad because kopa fell in love with her daughter so she had a plan an evil clever plan.kopa went out looking for food while his family were asleep zira saw him and jumped infront of him.She said," Are you lost little one" Then she laughed kopa was scared.She said,"This is for you Scar" she scrached him and then killed him.vitani was looking forher mum then shde saw kopa Vitani ran to Simba and Nala and told them.Simba chased zira away and Nala hugged her dead son.A few years later he was alive and healthy he returened to pride rock and he was welcomed.Kiara and Kovu were ruling the pride lands so he was not going to be king but he didnt care.Kopa and vitani had cubs and so did Kovu and kiara.

The end

Did you like it? I know I had some spelling mistakes.

[KiarasMate]

Well, you have a very active imagination KopaFan13, that's for sure. ^^ It was an interesting story to say the least. lol. Aside from the spelling, which you're already aware of, there's also a few points you might want to consider for any future stories you decide to write. I think the main point you'd want to focus on, would be attention to detail and drawing out your scenes more. Your story sort of feels like just one quick little event right after the other and doesn't really give your reader much time to get enthralled into what's happening before you go and add in some new story element. Also, you might want to work on structuring your story a bit more too. Anyways, this is just constructive criticism so take it as you want but you really do have potential when it comes to storytelling. You just need to hone your skills a bit. Keep up the awesome work though. ^^

[KopaFan13]

Thanks! and thank you for the advice I will keep it in mind ^.^

[LadyAnette]

An interesting story and good plot...but I agree with KM. Needs detail. And uh..just one mistake I noticed...here, I'll show it to you...

[quote="Your RP post 1"]She said,"This is for you Scar" she scrached him and then killed him.vitani was looking forher mum then shde saw kopa Vitani ran to Simba and Nala and told them.Simba chased zira away and Nala hugged her dead son.[/quote]

(Notice the bold)

Now look:

[quote="Your RP post 2"]A few years later he was alive and healthy he returened to pride rock and he was welcomed.Kiara and Kovu were ruling the pride lands so he was not going to be king but he didnt care.Kopa and vitani had cubs and so did Kovu and kiara.[/quote]

Did Kopa come back to life?
Not saying your Fan-Fic is bad...but I'd suggest more detail and paying more attention, k?

[KopaFan13]

Lady: Your right but I have so much going on in my life I don’t have much time to pay attention to these things lol.

[LadyAnette]

Haha. I'm not saying it's bad, and I understand you're busy. I hope you have the time to write more!