by Regulus » May 22nd, 2014, 2:59 am
The future is always in motion. It's constantly changing, adapting, and evolving. Days pass. The oceans rise and fall with the tide. Years pass. The seasons come and go. Life itself changes. Continents shift. Civilizations rise and fall. Species form and die off. There is no end—only a circle. It is continuous but with continuous change, a perfect sinusoidal in the mathematical sense.
All too often we fear this fact of life. We turn to symbols and objects to define our beliefs, but more often than not they grow to harbor corruption over time. Their meaning is lost, and their existence lends to an alternate purpose from what it once was. For that very reason, change is necessary. It is an integral part of life and existence, as it is integral to the existence of time itself.
I think it's getting about that time. Every sign I can find is pointing in a change of direction, as has been the case recently. What once was no longer is, and what no longer was now is. This isn't the peak—not yet. But I am approaching ever closer to the tipping point. The magic is lost on me, as it has been for quite some time.
But now, only now do I see a way out. More so now than ever, it is apparent to me. My place in the circle of life is not here. It is somewhere else. I don't belong. There's nothing left for me, anymore. I can see it quite clearly. This is not the life I desire, and this is not the life I am going to live. I've seen all there is to see, and I've done all there is to do. It's all old. Stale. Boring. Dull. Lifeless.
There are several new possibilities, all unique in their own ways, and all appealing to my tastes. I'm not yet sure which path I will follow, but I do know that any given direction will lead me to a new experience, or perhaps many new experiences, safe from the muddy puddle of stagnation I've found myself rolling through for so long.
Things are not what they once were, but yet I, myself, haven't adapted to maintain the balance. I know what I need to do, but going forward means I'll need to face the future... as scary as that is.
But I'll do it. I've already taken the first step to test the waters, and I'm finding that it's actually pretty warm on the other side. At this point, I'm just waiting to make the jump.
Someday, someday very soon, I will do what is necessary. That day is still impending, but not far off. The only difference now is that there's no turning back. This is it; I'm so sure about it, it's final.
I'm just going to finish up some things, and then I'm done. It'll have been a long run, but my breath is nearly depleted. It is time for the sun to set. I can hold it back no longer. Darkness will ensue, but only through that darkness will I find the break of dawn.