The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 8th, 2009, 10:44 pm

Disrespect Towards Siblings
About a month went by, Laini and Mheetu were toddlers. They loved playing together. They were best friends. But they were extreamly careful of the hyenas and rouges that were lurking. One day when Mheetu and Laini were playing near the edge of priderock, Simba went over to them to tease them. "Hey Lini! Why are you playing with him? He's not a child of Scar!", Simba said as he went over to his sibling. "Don't call me Lini! And you just don't like Mheetu because I have friends and you don't!", Laini shouted at her half brother. "Pfff. I have friends, Nala, Tojo, Chumvi, Malka, Kula, and Tama.", Simba said proudly. "Yeah right! Nala told me she hated you!", Mheetu said. "Gimme high paw!", Laini said as she lifted her paw. Mheetu hit it.

Simba was shocked. "How dare you!", Simba yelled at Mheetu. Simba then hit Mheetu, he then was almost off priderock! He held onto the ledge with his paws. "Mheetu!", Laini screamed. 'I'll go get your sis and mother!", Laini yelled as she ran inside priderock. Scar soon came out to see Simba. "Good, Simba, hurt him!", Scar said as he got closer to Simba. Simba then put his paws on Mheetu. "Ouch!", Mheetu cried. "Long Live Mheetu!", Simba shouted. Just as Simba was about to drop him, he heard a voice.

"Simba stop!", Nala yelled. Nala ran over towards Mheetu. She scratched Simba and then grabbed Mheetu. "You can't hurt my brother! Or I'll hurt you back!", Nala growled as toddle Mheetu hid behind Nala's leg. "Fine then, I'll hurt then then.", Simba said as he jumped for Nala.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 8th, 2009, 10:57 pm

The Fight Between Best Friends:
Nala's eyes wided. When Simba jumped at her, she fought back. When Nala was slapped by Simba, she was back-faced on the ground. When Simba jumped for her, she ducked. He then fell to the ground off of priderock. "Simba!", Scar shouted. Simba then shook his head. He then ran up to priderock and attacked Nala again. Mheetu was very scarred. When Sarafina came out, she was horrified. Those two were once best friends, and now they were attacking each other.

"You are a ruthless bag of dirt!", Nala said as she bit Simba's leg. "Your a fat hippo!", Simba said as he hurt Nala's ear. Nala decided to give up. "I give up! You win!", Nala said as she fell to the ground crying. Simba smiled. "Guilty as changed.", he said as he walked away. Nala cried. He used to be my best friend, now he's nothing... She thougth as she cried.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 8th, 2009, 11:24 pm

The NewComer:
Scar and Simba were in their den. "Excellent job Simba! You will make a good ruler!", Scar said as he gave Simba a pat on the back. "Thank you oh great Scar.", Simba told Scar. "I'm still kinda upset, I attacked my best friend...", Simba said as he laid down. "Simba, Simba, Simba, you have to let your friends go...Remember what I told you about what you can do with her when you are a teen?", Scar said as he walk towards his rock(bed). "Yeah, but what do you mean by that?", Simba asked. "Come here.", Scar said.

Simba walked over to Scar. Scar whispered something into his ear. "Oh....", Simba said. Then, Sarabi came up to the den. "Scar! A newcomer is here!", Sarabi shouted, then she turned around and went back down priderock. Scar and Simba then went towards the ledge. "Who are you!?"[b], Scar yelled as he looked at the lioness. [b]"My name is Zira! I've come from another part of these burden lands!", Zira said as she looked up at Scar. Oooo, he's smexy., She thought as she looked at him. "Your welcome to be here!", Scar said as he told Zira.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 19th, 2009, 12:18 am

Chapter 5: Getting to Know

When Zira came up to priderock. Scar introduced her to everyone. "Zira, this is Simba, he's the future king.", Scar said as he looked at Zira. "Hello...", Simba said as he gave her a cold stare. Oh boy... Another mouth to feed., Simba thought. Zira felt a little upset. This isn't the welcome I expected..., she thought. "Well, I'm going on patrol, the lionesses will be hunting, so you stay with Zira Simba k?", Scar asked. "Fine...", Simba said. Scar smiled.

When everyone left. Simba got mad. "So...what's it like being prince?", Zira asked. "It's ok...but there isn't much to do. With these dry lands.", Simba replied. "What about you? Where'd you come from?", Simba asked. Zira sighed. "Well, it was rather nice. But sadly when I was a cub my parents were killed. I lived in the land. I wanted to let my past go, so I did. I came here. Although I don't like it so far.", Zira said. "Well, I don't like it here either...", Simba said.

Zira was shocked. "I thought you liked it here...", Zira said. "Yes it's true. Your a adult, I'm a teenager, you don't know what it's like living here." , Simba said as he stood up. 'Well you shouldn't live here. It's not safe here." , Zira said. "It's what my father wanted me to stay here to be king. Become king and have cubs.", Simba replied. "Well I think you should be free. You seem rather nice." , Zira said as she looked at Simba.

Simba smiled. "You aren't so bad yourself.", Simba replied. "Thank you.", Zira said. "Well you know you'll have to hunt tomorrow.", Simba told Zira. "I know.", Zira replied. Simba then walked away. He went into the den.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby ViTawni » December 19th, 2009, 7:38 am

Ha! I was about to go to the next page to keep reading, but I was at the end! Great so far! Keep em coming!
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby YFWE » December 22nd, 2009, 4:36 pm

Nice story you've got here so far, LT! Really like the storyline.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby KopaFan13 » December 22nd, 2009, 5:31 pm

WOW! The best story I have read so far! :excited: write more.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby TheWhistlerify » March 9th, 2010, 5:40 pm

Continue with this please
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
My 'The Lion King' fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10370841/1/
My 'Pokémon' fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9017329/1/
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Good source of potassium

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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » July 9th, 2010, 9:53 pm

[Continuing ^^]
Feelings:
Simba went into the cave. Well that was a nice conversation I had with her., Simba thought as he laid down in the lionesses cave. He thougth he should tell Zira she was supposed to be in there. "Hey Zira! Can you come in here for a second?", Simba yelled to Zira. Zira came in the cave. "Yes, what is it?", she asked as she looked around the cave. "This is where you sleep. Now let me take you to the den that's off limits to any of you lionesses.", Simba said as he walked up the rocks to the den. "This is Scar and I's den. Never come in here unless we ask for you.", Simba said as he laid down in his den.

Zira nodded and went down the rocks. Scar passed by Zira. "What were you doing up thier?!", Scar yelled as he growled at her. "Simba was just telling me not to go up there unless you two asked for me.", Zira said as she walked into the lionesses cave. Scar growled and walked up to the den. "Why did you tell her?!", Scar yelled at Simba while asked him a question.

"So that way she will come up here and we can give her a punishment.", Simba said as he snickered. "Ah, I like your thinking lad.", Scar said. Simba then frowned. "But the problem is, I'm having feelings for her. I couldn't punish her. You'd have to do it.", Simba said. Scar's eyes widened. "You don't have feelings for newcommers. Only the other lionesses need it, sicne they don't get enough attention.", Scar said. "But I....", Simba said. Then, Nala came up the cave. "Your highness and prince, the meal is here.", Nala said as she walked down the rocks. "Come on, it's time to eat.", Scar said as he walked down the rocks. Simba followed.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby KopsTheTerminator » July 9th, 2010, 10:00 pm

You have definitely improved! You portrayed the characters really well; keep up the good work! :D
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