The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Do you like the fanfic?

1.It's Awesome! Don't change anything!
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2. It' ok
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3. It's bad
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4.OMG it's horrible
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Total votes : 20

Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » November 28th, 2009, 9:59 pm

Is it True?
Scar smricked as he started walking towards priderock. Simba was upset, his friends were hurt. He didn't know what to do. So he ran towards his den and pretended nothing happened. Soon, Scar was in the den. "Hello Prince.", Scar said. Simba smiled. "I hope you know that you won't see your male friends for a long time." Simba pretended to be upset. "Why not?", Simba asked innocently and upsetly. "I had to exile them, because they could be a threat to the throne.", Scar replied to Simba's "why". "Is it true? Or did you just attack them?!", Simba yelled at Scar's face. "How'd you know?!", Scar yelled questionably.

"I saw the whole thing!", Simba growled. Scar growled at Simba. "I was waiting for you to be a teen, but I think now's the perfect time...", Scar said hesently. Scar then striked at Simba, Simba's eyes wided in horror. He tried to run, but Scar caught him. Scar then scratched Simba hardly on the rigth eye. "It's perfect!", Scar smield evily and laughed uncontrollably. Simba started to cry, and tried to wipe off the blood.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » November 29th, 2009, 12:00 am

Scars Are Truthful
Simba cried hardly. "Why'd you do that?!", Simba cried. Scar looked at Simba with a dark face. "Because you saw me attack your friends.", Scar growled. "It was an accident!", Simba cried. Scar slapped Simba. "Leave! Come back to the cave tomorrow!" Scar yelled. "You mean leave priderock?!", Simba was shocked. "Yes!" Scar yelled as she swatted at Simba. Simba then ran away from Scar's den. Simba cried as he ran away from priderock.
Last edited by LilTiger on July 15th, 2010, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby Baya » November 29th, 2009, 5:38 am

This is a good creative story, but I think you need to do more grammar and spelling check as well as try to add in more detail. That's my two cents ^_^
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 6th, 2009, 1:22 am

[Kivuli: Sorry about that, I just type so fast I don't pay attention]
The Darkness Stays...Forever
As Simba ran, he came across a pond wich had a tiny rock the looks like the point of priderock. So he laid on the ledge. He looked into the pond. "I used to see a prince's face." Simba cried. "I see nothing now...", Simba said as he splashed the water. He was so upset he thought of commiting suicide. Simba then got a angry face, when that happened, He got up and roared loudly through the pridelands. It automaticaly started to rain.

"No. I'm changing...no! I don't wanna be evil! No!!!", Simba said as the rain spirits pushed him into the pond. It was quite deep for a little pond. The rain came down harder and harder every minute. Soon, the pond grew bigger. Then, Simba's head popped out of the water, gasping for air. He had a angry look on his face. "You stupid rain spirits! You pushed me into the water!", Simba yelled to the rain.

The wind grew stronger. Inside priderock, everyone was scarred. This was the hardest it rained since a few days before Mufasa's death. Scar was watching the rain. "Scar? What have we done to make the spirits angry?", Nala asked. Scar looked at Nala. "We haven't done anything. Someone else did something, and it has changed them forever.", Scar replied in a dark way.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 6th, 2009, 1:42 am

The Demanding
Simba growled in maddness. "Yes! I'm prince! And I'll be the greatest prince ever!". Simba yelled evily as he started running back towards priderock. Soon, he was home. 'Hello everyone...", Simba said evily. Nala was a little scarred. "Oh Great King Scar, what has happened while I was gone?", Simba asked. Scar smiled. Yes! He's evil! My plan WILL work! Scar thought. "Nothing really, al the happened was rain, that's all.", Scar replied. Sarabi walked over to Simba. "Where were you honey? I was worried when you ran off.", Sarabi asked her son. "I was out in the rain, geez.", Simba growled.

Sarabi felt a little offended. "Why are you acting strange...?", Sarabi asked. Simba walked up to his mother. "Look, I'm not acting strange, I was once good and now I'm evil, evil is good, it's wonderful, and pure!", Simba replied. Sarabi almost got upset. "Now get back in line with those other lionesses!", Simba yelled at his own mother. Then, Simba walked over the the lionesses.

"Why aren't you all hunting? That's what you should be doing!", Simba yelled at the lionesses. "But Simba, it's raining like heck out there! Some of us wouldn't survive!", Kaidi told Prince Simba. "You all will hunt this instant! Me and my father are hungry!", Simba yelled in reply to them. Sarabi gasped. "Mufasa is gone honey!", Sarabi replied to Simba's yelled reply. "Scar's my father now! Mufasa was never my father!", Simba yelled to his mother. Sarabi got upset. "Come on lionesses, we will go hunt.", Sarabi said as she started walking outside of priderock. The others followed.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby KopsTheTerminator » December 6th, 2009, 1:59 am

You're developing =) What I think it's weird is that Simba and Scar believe their evil. Aren't they suppose to think they're actually the good ones? ^-^ Other than that, great new chapters! WTF, Simba telling him own mother to get in line 0.0 If he was my son I'll give him a slap so he would snap out of it! :lol:
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 7th, 2009, 1:56 pm

[lol Kopa]
The Life Threatning Hunt
As the lionesses walked out into the pouring rain, they started getting cold. The worst part was the cubs where there too. "Mommy, I'm freezing cold, can we go home?", Nala asked her mother. "No honey, if we do, Prince Simba and King Scar won't be happy.", Sarafina replied to her shivering daughter. "Sarabi! Do you see anything?!", Sarafina yelled to Sarabi. Sarabi sniffed the air. Darn, nothing., Sarabi thought. Then, she saw a figure moving. It was a hyena! "I see a hyena!", Sarabi said. "Zuri, Kaidi and I will go get it.", Sarabi said as the three sisters started running towards the hyena.

While Kaidi was running, her foot got caught in a hole. "Sarabi, Zuri, help!", Kaidi yelled. "What's wrong?", Zuri asked. "My foot is caught in a hole!", Kaidi yelled. Sarabi tried to help her, but she couldn't. "Kaidi! Get yourself out!", Sarabi yelled as she ran towards the hyena. They killed it. Kaidi almost cried. She couldn't see anything. I might as well die right here... Kaidi thought. Then, where the females were, someone calapsed. It was Sarafina. "Mummy! Mom get up!", Nala yelled at her mother. Sarabi gasped. From the shock, Kaidi pulled out her foot. Kaidi ran over to Sarafina and put her on her back. "Let's go home before someone dies!" Everyone ran home quickly.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 7th, 2009, 11:22 pm

Chapter 4:The Birth of Laini
When the lionesses got back to priderock. They all gathered towards Sarafina. "Sarabi, do you think she will be alright?", Zuri asked. Sarabi looked at Sarafina, it started getting blurry. "Arrr..." Sarabi growled under her breath. "She'll be fine, but I'm not ok...", Sarabi replied. Zuri and Kaidi walked over to their sister. "What's the matter sis?", Kaidi asked. "It's all blurry..I think...I think it's...the cub.", Sarabi managed to say before she fell to the ground.

Zuri and Kaidi gasped. "Sister! Are you alright?", Zuri asked. "Urrg. I need to be left alone!", Sarabi shouted in pain. "Leave her! Me and Simba will stay!", Scar shouted as he walked towards Sarabi with Simba. "No fair! Your a male! Males aren't allowed to watch females give birth!", Zuri growled at Scar. "If you want to loose your other son, keep it up!", Scar yelled back at her. "Fine, let's leave.", Zuri said as she picked her other son by the scruff and all the lionesses went outside.

Sarabi cried as the pain grew larger. Sarabi, if the cub's not out in 2 minutes, I'll leave you to birth yourelf.", Scar threatened. "I'm already doing it myself!", Sarabi cried in pain. Scar just walked outside with the lionesses. Simba had to follwo, but he knew his mother was in pain. 'Please....Simba don't leave me..." Sarabi begged. Simba jsut walked away into the lionesses. He called Kaidi. Kaidi then went inside.

"Alright, how much does it hurt?", Kaidi asked. "Alot..." Sarabi replied as she cried softly in pain. "That means it's not far from entering. Will you listen to me?", Kaidi asked her sister softly. Sarabi nodded. "Alright, now...listen carefully....", Kaidi said as she held onto her sister's paw.

The whole pride heard screams coming from Sarabi. Every lioness was horrified. Scar wasn't, but Simba was. "Scar, why aren't you afraid for my mother?", Simba asked. "Because Simba, your mother betrayed me.", Scar said as Kaidi came out. "You all can come in now.", Kaidi said with a smile. All the lionesses went inside. So did Scar and Simba. When they got in, Sarabi, who was sweaty, had a orange cub between her paws. Scar went towards Sarabi. He sniffed the newborn cub. "It' a girl isn't it?", Scar asked. Sarabi nodded. "Will you do away with her?", Sarabi asked afraid. "No, since Simba isn't your responcibility anymore, you can keep her.", Scar said as he started walking outside to his den. "Are you coming Simba?", Scar asked. "Yes.", Simba said as he followed Scar.

"What are you gonna name her?", Zuri asked. Sarabi licked her newborn cub. "I'm goning to name her Laini, since her fur is soft.", Sarabi said as she nuzzled Laini. Soon, the lionesses decided to go to bed. Laini...I'll protect you from everything, until I die Sarabi thought as she soon fell asleep.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby LilTiger » December 8th, 2009, 1:47 am

Mheetu[I forgot to mention, when Scar mated ith Sarabi, 3 months past by.]
Soon, it was morning, it was sadly dark. Sarabi woke up. She looked at her new daughter. "Good morning Laini.",Sarabi said as she nuzzled the sleeping Laini. Sarabi saw Sarafina. was still laying there. Sarabi wondered if Sarafina was ok. So, Sarabi walked over to her. Then, Sarabi saw a little cub next to Sarafina. "Oh my....", Sarabi said. Sarabi nudged Sarafina. Then, Sarafina did awake. "Whaa...? What happened?", Sarafina said as she stood up. "It's alright, you had a cub.", Sarabi told Sarafina. "I had another cub?", Sarafina asked. "Yes, he's rigth there.", Sarabi pointed to the cub. Sarafina went over to her new cub. "He's adorable. I'll name him Mheetu.", Sarafina said as she bathed her new cub.
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Re: The Second Scar:The Story of a What If

Postby KopsTheTerminator » December 8th, 2009, 7:41 pm

Great new chapters LT! lol, I love how Scar treats Simba now. ^-^ Looking forward for the next chapters! :)
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