Principal Victoria: Thank you for coming, everyone. Boys, please take a seat.
Stan: What's going on? Are we in trouble?
Principal Victoria: Boys, the reason we called you all in is because one of your friends has a serious illness. Eric Cartman has been diagnosed with HIV.
Stan: What??
Butters: Oh no...
Doctor: He's been to several specialists since a botched blood transfusion. The disease is in the very early stages and completely manageable. But he's naturally a bit scared.
Kyle: ...Cartman has HIV?
Doctor: We need everyone to understand that you can't get the virus from Eric. You can still give him hugs and even kisses. Don't be afraid of him, just-
Kyle: ..excuse me: Eric Cartman has HIV?
Principal Victoria: Alright, we're gonna bring Eric in now, and let's all be as supportive as we can and show him lots of love. okay?
Mr. Mackey: Eric? Come on in, your your friends all want to say hi, m'kay?
*Cartman walks in*
The boys: Hi, Eric.
Stan: Hi there, Eric.
Kyle: No. Way.
Butters: How are you doin', Eric? You know, well I think you're a real special little guy. And even though you have AIDS, I ain't gonna act any different towards you. *kisses in cheek*
Cartman: GODDAMNIT THIS SUCKS ASS!
Kyle: Ek-scuse me, I have to step out for a minute.
Kyle: *exits room* Hah.. hah... hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! *Dies laughing*
Butters: Poor ol' Kyle. He's really takin' it hard.
-South Park, Tonsil Trouble
Pure gold. LMAO