story/poem challenge

[it means no worries]

i'm gonna set myself a challenge:

post a theme for a poem or short story and i'll write about 2500 words for the story and 5 paragraphs for the poem. The hard part is that ill write and reply with it within two hours

let the challenge BEGIN!

[SimbasGuard]

How about Vitani's feelings on becoming a Pridelander. If that is not enough to do a short story with a poem will be just fine.

[it means no worries]

i am quite busy with exam revision atm i will do it tomorrow

[it means no worries]

would you prefer 1st or 3rd person?

[SimbasGuard]

3rd Person is easier for me to understand.

[it means no worries]

cos of work i only managed some of it, heres the first half, next half tommorow


Chapter 1
The battle for pride rock at the end of Simba’s pride
All she had stood for, trained for, lived for was in doubt, she raised her scrawny head up against the bellowing wind, she could see her mother’s eyes through her own matted, muddy fur covering her eyes. They were boring into her like daggers, challenging her. She suddenly felt the cold of the night, felt the vice-like grip of fear. Inside Vitani quivered with fear but she knew she could not back down. Not show any fear. Not now. Not here.
Vitani felt fur brush her side, she whipped her oversized head round, clawing her opponent, ready to maul any lion daring to challenge her, Kovu caught her extended paw mid strike, Vitani flinched back, blinking her eyes shut, expecting a claw to the face, but he didn’t move.
“Look around you,” he whispered softly, she opened her eyes, “this bloodshed isn’t needed.” Vitani started to shout back an angry response when he continued, “look around you Vitani, your cause is lost, no more lions need to die this day.”
Vitani stopped and looked around, keeping an eye on Kovu just in case, the foot of priderock was littered with wounded lions and slick with rain and blood, the outsiders had been backed onto the edge of the gorge where only a handful ragged, wary outsiders still stood crowded around Zira, her mother. With her mud streaked fur and bloodied claws Zira looked feral, she raised her shrill voice, which was on the edge of hysteria, “what have you done Vitani, you have betrayed us, the pride-Landers shall pay in blood! “
With that Zira charged, her followers, invigorated, pounded after her, hollering unintelligible war cries, the two sides clashed brutally, lions using claws, teethes and their own body weight in a desperate struggle, the battle raged on both, sides loosing many, Simba barley managed to survive a near fatal head wound by the time he called the retreat. The pride-Landers slowly trudged back, step by step, their blood drenched paws moving carefully over the fallen mutilated bodies of the dead.
Minutes later the battered forces withdrew several steps, eyeing each other wearily, all were exhausted, with many nursing wounds. Zira re-appeared, she had received a deep diagonal claw wound to her left shoulder, it was bleeding heavily. Delirious with pain, her voice hoarse; she could barley croak, “If you shall not fight the pride-Landers Vitani then you shall die with them!”
The very few remaining outlanders looked on in horror at their leader, dumbstruck at the thought of so much hatred that Zira wanted her own child dead. They were disheartened and disgusted, some considered betraying her to gain favor with the pride-Landers after, but none did so, most bowed their heads in surrender to the pride-Landers, who were angrily crowding around them eager for revenge for the attack.
“Stop,” Simba roared, “leave them.” The pride-Landers immediately retreated under the fierce gaze of their king. Simba offered the outsiders mercy; all accepted and were led up into priderock, except for Zira.
“You,” Simba addressed her, “have no followers and no hope left, are sure you want to reject mercy?”
“I will never accept terms from the murderer of Scar!” Zira bellowed.
“Scar was a traitor,” Simba roared, “he killed Mufasa. He didn’t deserve to live!”
Simba turned and strode back to priderock, as soon as his back was turned Zira snarled in rage and leapt at Simba, but Kiara divided into the way, the two lionesses went down hard onto the stone, biting and clawing one another. Zira fell back towards the gorge cliff face and lost her footing on the crumbling rock and fell off the edge, dragging Kiara with her. They fell with a sickening crunch onto on a small, battered ledge several meters down.
kiara was safely standing in the middle but Zira was hanging off it, just managing to hold a fragile grip wither her arms. Kiara looked on in pity at the mask of pure hatred on Zira’s face; she offered a paw to help her back up but Zira, overcome with rage refused it.
Vitani rushed over to the edge of the gorge and looked down to the ledge, she looked on in horror as her mother refused help and her grip worsened…
Vitani screamed at her mother to be helped, she willed her mother to overcome her hatred and let herself be pulled up; she started to climb down to help but was wrenched back by Kovu who knew that Zira would refuse help from anybody anyway. Zira paws were scrabbling over the loosening rock, her paws trying desperately to find a handhold. There was none. Zira’s eyes went wild as she realized she was about to die, she redoubled he efforts but still lost her grip. Her roar of defiance and pain filled the gorge as she tumbled done the jagged cliff face; Vitani collapsed into Kovu’s arms and began to give into heart wrenching sobs that echoed through the gorge and priderock. She was with a hostile tribe. She was alone. All she had ever known was gone. All she had ever been taught was gone. All she had ever loved was gone. Her mother was dead…


Chapter 2
Inside priderock
She didn’t belong here. This wasn’t her home. Everyone greeted her with hostility and suspicion. She shouldn’t be here. Relations for the first few days had been very strained between the integrated outsiders and the pride-Landers, naturally they didn’t trust each other and fights were common but were punished harshly by Simba.
Simba, Zazu and Kovu had at least shown some kindness and hospitality to her, giving her food and a place to sleep, other outsiders weren’t so lucky. Many still forced to find their own shelter from the freezing winds. Despite this kindness, no matter what he she did or how much she helped the pride-landers, vitani always felt under observation, suspicion, as if she was going to attack someone at any moment.
Shuku, Simba’s personal bodyguard seemed ever present and watchful, the young lion was in the prime of his life and bounded around with exceptional athleticism.
Several months into the winter Simba approached Vitani and asked her whether she wanted to help hunt for food, vitani accepted, although no other outsiders were trusted of course, she appreciated even this small amount of trust. Simba, Zazu and Vitani set off into the savannah with Shuku and two other pridelanders, the three pridelanders were chatting obliviously amongst themselves whilst Zazu was giving advice and information to Simba. Vitani was left to walk in silence.
She used the time to think, how could she win their trust back? As she brooded she noticed a shadow on a far ridge, as she neared the ridge and looked more closely she realized that the shadow was three separate silhouettes.

[SimbasGuard]

Wow! This is really amazing, You've changed things just enough that I don't know what is going to happen, but kept within the existing story enough that I don't feel lost in any way. I really like the character of Shuku. I also think I know who those three shadows belong to. I was expecting a short story, but so far you have given me Two chapters. I am very impressed.

[it means no worries]

Thanks, and who do you think the shadows belong to? (and do you want me to tell u if u guess wrong?)

[it means no worries]

im liking how part 2 is going, im probably gonna develop this into a full size story

[SimbasGuard]

[quote="it means no worries"]Thanks, and who do you think the shadows belong to? (and do you want me to tell u if u guess wrong?)[/quote]

You are very welcome, I am guessing, that the shadows belong to The Hyenas (I'll just wait to see if I am right or not.)

[quote="it means no worries"]im liking how part 2 is going, im probably gonna develop this into a full size story[/quote]

Wow! I'm glad you are having such success with this story.