What are you thinking RIGHT NOW?

[Braveheart]

Looks like QE is busy today.

Oh well, time for yet another movie.

[Queen Elsa]

^I'm not that busy. I was still sleeping. xD I might be busy later, but that will be while you're offline. xD

I can't believe we're finally seeing Star Wars 7 on Saturday. I can't wait!

[Braveheart]

^ D'oh I forgot about time differences again. .

Interesting start to this movie.

[Queen Elsa]

^Hehe. That's okay.
---
Wow, time sure is flying by. It's already been fifty minutes? It hasn't felt that long.

[Marizzle]

Maybe, tomorrow, we could go to Disney Store. I mean, my cousin needs a gift and I need some Zootopia merch.

[Shadowfax]

Wow... These next few months will be tight. I may have to sell some stuff

[Marizzle]

Why isn't she replying? I can't wait here forever.

[Queen Elsa]

I don't know why I bother. My writing's obviously no good. I've only won once, and that was in a tie, so I didn't really "win" anyways. I wonder if I should keep doing it or not.

[Carl]

QE: Your writing is fine. Maybe you should try different kinds of topics and different writing styles. With practice, you'll continue to improve. Every great writer was once terrible at it. I'm good now but in high school... *shudders* you guys wouldn't believe that it was me who wrote that crap.

---

Looking back at all of that stuff... I was really blind. I was so invested in that, and it turned me into a miserable depressed shadow of myself and I chose to ignore what it was doing to me, even when I could see it, I couldn't. It's so stupid that for so long that was my only fleeting source of joy.

My life has been harder than I thought. Everything here really sucked enough that I thought that was something it wasn't, that it was worth devoting my whole existence to. If I'd been in the right frame of mind, maybe I would have seen that I was wasting my time, maybe I would have been able to get away from it, instead of letting it destroy me the way it did. Even in the early days it was just a bad arrangement, a bad decision. But I couldn't see it and the good moments made it into a drug.

Y'know, that's exactly what it's like. And contrary to pop-song belief, that's not a good thing. The longer I was "addicted" the more I needed for the highs, and the more rare those highs became, but I couldn't stop wanting more. I couldn't give it up. At the end, I saw that it was actually detrimental, but I continued doing odd jobs trying to get my "drug money." The intervention was godawful. I couldn't deal. I told myself I was doing great! But the minute my "drug" was before me again, I relapsed. But this time it was much worse much more rapidly. I was forced to try again to quit cold turkey.

I know I'm much better off now, and the cravings come very rarely. But sometimes, the withdrawal effects are still evident and I have moments of blindly wanting it even though I don't want it because I like being able to enjoy myself again and actually engage in my hobbies again.

If I could get those good feelings some other, less detrimental way, that would be great.

[Braveheart]

^Are you writing for the MLK contest?

--

Nothing.