Chameleon (Zira & Scar)

[Gemini]

I'm not much of a reader, but I think I might have to check out some of your other works. As long as you can promise me this level of quality or greater

I'm not much of a reader either, so I understand. But of course. This one is pretty old, so unless you go mucking around down at the bottom of my profile for the earliest pieces I posted you should be fine.

Well I think your best qualities of writing, at least from what I can gather from this, is that you are very good with dialogue, vocabulary, and making the characters seem themselves. So as long as you continue to do that, I'm sold.

I'd say that's an accurate depiction. Glad to hear you're interested, and of course, leave a review and let me know you're from MLK! I like to see people from here review over there! And you don't even need an account to do that, by the way.

[Harvs]

Pfft. I do what I want. You'll take what you get, or get what you take!

What?

[Gemini]

You'll take what you get, or get what you take!

Of course. I always do.

[Harvs]

That's good. Do that.

[Gemini]

That's good. Do that.

I was going to. Not that you can tell me what to do.

[Azdgari]

I like this story, GG. You're a talented author; Scar's a great character and you write him well. His dialogue, and in some points lack thereof, feel natural, which is saying a lot. The text flows with good timing and pace, and you've got some lovely diction.

My only beef with it is the ending, and this is totally my opinion because what you've got works great too. But it feels like a cop-out to me. I think that Zira and Scar have a wildly complex dynamic, and this story is trying to unpack whether or not Scar is even capable of returning Zira's love. I think that there's something powerful about the fact that this isn't something that happened overnight; this was probably something that Zira wrestled with for a long time and I think that it would say something poignant that she worked up the courage to ask that question and somehow it just faded away with time, as honestly tends to happen in the real world.


But that's all a tangent. Good work. Keep doing what you're doing!