by Scars Mate » January 15th, 2014, 6:36 pm
I'm fine with it, Rivera told both Zaq and Rhinnëa defensively, but it sounded like she was lying. She wasn't- not at all, but suddenly her previous fears had crept up on her, and she wanted nothing to do with Zaq, if not for her sake, for his.
Break it off while you can, she said to herself, but her heart yearned- literally yearned- to be with Zaq. If you care for him, you'll leave him alone. He doesn't need you to drag him to the depths of hell.. She was right- she had done many bad, bad things by anyone's perspective, and didn't want him- or anyone else in their company- to be hurt. Images flashed before her eyes;
Flames, creeping up the houses, cottages and offices, her sister clutching her at her side. It was her doing- the screams of terror and agony, the stench of death filling the air, the dead people, her dead friends, Tylas-
'I know what you're thinking about,' Nellas said in a low voice through the rain, 'but it wasn't your fault. And it still isn't.' When she had turned away, Rivera shook her head. It was, it was her fault, she had lied to Nellas to save her own sanity, and she hadn't been there when she set the first flame-
With pure hate that scared her even now. If she could reduce a whole town to ashes, what would she do with so little people? When her angry side came out, the demon, she was not herself- one of the pure problems with being a hybrid. There was always a glitch in the DNA, and this was hers- vivid, anger, nothing else, that consumed her- or did it? She had been herself, and yet let- MADE- all those people die. And she hated herself either way- whether it was her fault of her genetic makeup. Which was, coincidentally why the elves hated her. And sparked her leaving.
SHUT UP! She yelled at her self, frustrated. She sighed, her posture melting away as she slumped forward into Lyrea's neck.
Do not think of it, the dragon commanded. You batter yourself far too much. It was not you.
But it was, she whispered sadly to herself. It was, but it wasn't. It wasn't, but it was.