[mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

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[mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Cheeony » June 25th, 2015, 8:32 pm

sooo.... pageeeeeee.
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Re: [mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Iri » June 30th, 2015, 8:24 am

Nice page! I have a feeling that Damian is kind of trying to keep his temper, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Do you mind a little constructive criticism or no? If you don't want any that's fine with me, I'm just offering feedback.
"I'm pretty, but tough like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown."
- Titus Andromedon

"Titus, cherish this time. One day you'll wake up and you'll say, 'Who's that old woman in the mirror?' And then she'll punch you, and you'll say, 'That's not a mirror, that's an open window'."
- Lillian
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Re: [mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Cheeony » June 30th, 2015, 8:50 pm

im fine with constructive criticism.
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Re: [mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Iri » June 30th, 2015, 8:57 pm

All right. c:

Well, the drawings are very good, no doubt, but in the last panel I feel like the front legs of that leopard are kind of short.

Also, this doesn't really have to do with the drawings in the comic, but it's something I've noticed- you don't really need to write out every action. The audience can tell that in this page the other leopard raised their eyebrow in surprise, and in the previous page the audience can tell that Damian was insulted. I just feel like it's not really necessary to write out all the actions of the characters- like I said, the audience can most likely tell if one of the leopards is sitting down or turning and walking away.

However, overall the comic is very impressive- it really has kept my attention and had me wanting more of it.

I hope I didn't seem too harsh, but if I was too blunt, I apologize.
"I'm pretty, but tough like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown."
- Titus Andromedon

"Titus, cherish this time. One day you'll wake up and you'll say, 'Who's that old woman in the mirror?' And then she'll punch you, and you'll say, 'That's not a mirror, that's an open window'."
- Lillian
Iri
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Re: [mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Cheeony » June 30th, 2015, 9:15 pm

:) im not insulted.
Her legs are short, but i didn't bother to fix it because i had so much frustration with some of the drawings in these pages, I literally spent a week messing with them and getting aggravated.

As for my writing out actions, that is a bad habit of mine that has come back to bite me many a time in my writers class. I tend to want to spell out everything because i want the readers to vision the story exactly like me. I tried to not spell everything out but without thinking i found myself doing it anyway.
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Re: [mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Iri » June 30th, 2015, 9:35 pm

Ah, I understand that. Once it took me forever to try to draw the face of a lioness, and yet I still couldn't get it right, so I gave up on it. xD

Well, you can never break a bad habit until you try. c:

I have a question: Do you have a DeviantArt account?
"I'm pretty, but tough like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown."
- Titus Andromedon

"Titus, cherish this time. One day you'll wake up and you'll say, 'Who's that old woman in the mirror?' And then she'll punch you, and you'll say, 'That's not a mirror, that's an open window'."
- Lillian
Iri
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Re: [mlkfaa] - Cheeony's Album -> 40.jpg

Postby Cheeony » June 30th, 2015, 9:48 pm

nope. Im just here and here http://fanart.lionking.org/
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