by FeatheredSeclude » August 28th, 2014, 12:26 pm
I really like this char!
Good point actually. And based on my current hair cut. I've been called it. May be to an exent too. Yeah, teh world is very unfair. Some people get more than their share of unfairness. I'd know. Mainly cuz my eyes don't line up. Preme kid I am. Thus why. And being a teen really puts stress on ya, peuburty and what, emotions are a rollercoaster. 16 is teh worst. 18 now, 19 in Nov. And likely up into your mid 20ies you'll have fits of depression and what not, anger etc. It's tough, very tough honestly.
Ya know, with all the stuff I;ve had happen to me and my family. Suprised I am not worse. Thankful.
But even then, some pains you feel, are like, kill me, it hurts so bad. And sometimes, it's for no reason at all. Come to think of it, 16 and 18 are pretty close in difficulty. Cuz I've had a number of fits.
Could be from an exent of self centered at times, lack of attention, not getting a break from things often. Sleeping schedule, you name it.
I have a busy life, am up much more than I get to sleep. I sleep when I can, not when I have a reasonable hour. Thus why I am not in public school. Homeschooled now.
I agree those feeling don't disappear. You can supress them, but I actually find it easier on you in the long run not to. This way ya don't have an emotional breakdown... as much. I've had a few. Those are the times I want to be left alone. Though everyone trys to help at this. It drives me mad, making it worse. So I wind saying some stuff I know I don't mean, but ya can't take it back. So, I do my best to let it out away from people, this way, I don;t get bothered by them. Cuz you can't explain it to them. When ya try, you get mad that you can't tell them what you feel.
I know I believe in God, but there are still times I feel empty. Guess , that is the catostrophic pain people feel. EMpty, forgotten, mis trested, and defintiely mis understood. Around my family, I'm considered a hot head. Around friends, I'm actually much calmer. Likely from not being controlled, being able to enjoy my life. Around my family. I always have a lot of work to do. My oldest bro got hitched and moved out, and I'm pulling his weight, my weight, my younger bro's weight, he is lazy, and another bro's weight half of the time. So, I don;t have much time to me anymore, except late at night, and even then, I am babysitting an autistic sister, who is a stressful task. I don;t mean task as drudge, I just don't really get a break, every minute I am awake, I have to babysit in someway, plus everything else ontop of it.
I do feel unappreciated for how I do. When I get told I don;t do a lot.
So, like a week or so back, I got into a fight w/ my mom. I winded up storming out of the around 11 am. I didn't come back till 11pm. And honestly, I really liked the away time. But I do care about their feelings, but get the feeling they can not care about mine at times. Or have a bad way showing they care. I've tried saying this before, but they always get mad at me. So, I really can't say anything about it. So when I stormed out, the first thought that came to my mind was, now see how much I actually do around the house, they said nothing. Annoying.
I hear my mom and family say I love you all of the time. But never have I ever heard, You're right. Never. I get treated likea child a lot, never given a chance, etc. Ya know what I mean, right? But I keep going on, cuz I know they will be devestaed if anything happened to me. That I hold onto.
Sorry if I am rattling your ear, but this was a kinda a opportune moment for me to get that off of my chest finally. Sorta. Just though someone else should know aside me.
