lol Im okay with art stalkers

Well a little bit about me.
I am currently a senior in high school, though that doesn't change the fact i have been through a lot of crap. Ever since i was little my mom has been sick chronically and I grew up with her mood swings and trips to the hospital as normal. Im the youngest of six and the only one truely at home anymore. I only can count my friends on one hand. A few years ago I had to go through hell as my best and closest friend fell apart emotionally and cut herself and each day i had to fight the battle to keep her alive. More then once I had to personally be the one to call the police to stop her from killing herself after being forced to hear her say goodbye. I had to be the one who had to finally slap her parents into realizing that her depression was serious and get her admitted to a hospital so she could get the help she needed. She is now successfully on antidepressants and happy, though I hardly see her. I am one of those persons that goes un-noticed and invisible in the school hallways which doesnt bother me to much. When I have a friend I give every ounce of energy I can to them, often worrying constantly about how i can help them. I am very devoted to my friends and I am always there for them and they know it.
My grandpa committed suicide two years ago and I lost the only grandparents that cared to cancer.
I personally suffered from asthma, ADHD, and bad anxiety. I am stubborn and sometimes too caring for my own good. I get bullied by kids half my age, but i have to much of a heart to stand up for myself because I worry what their lives might be like and how much crap they might be dealing with.
The only boy to ever care for me, and the love of my whole heart, lives but five minutes away, yet i cant see him because his parents hate me because of a incident last May where I called the cops to check on him because of a message he sent me that could have been a suicide note, and I had to know he was okay. I haven't seen him in six months and if im lucky he manages to sneak an email to me once a week. I often get sick with worry for him and the stuff he is dealing with in his crap family and I have frequent nightmares. I am the only person who knows all his secrets and what he is dealing with and it kills not to be there constantly to help him.
Whoaaa.....i totally just rambled. lol sorry.