A Mother's Love

Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » September 22nd, 2008, 12:17 am

Thanks guys 8-)
Moka
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Panda-chan » November 7th, 2008, 10:42 pm

Great job! Like Zeke said, take your time. I don't really mind.
D̵̢̨̧̛͔̖͍̝̤̫̼̝̬̤̪̟͇͙̊̏̎͛̇̏͊͌̃̂̈́͂̒̄̅̚̚͘͝R̸̥̙͂̀̾̑̊̀̉́̀́̐̄̊̿̈́̄͑̐̕͝I̴̗̯̼̳͉͕̺̤̖̝̪̫̊͛͝͠Ǹ̵̨̧͈̮̦̖̝͈̥̗͕̭͉̺̲͕̥͔͎̹͖͙͇̲̘̩̞͓̦̦̯̮̙̜̼̝͈̣̺̰̺̟̙̫̫ͅK̶̢̢̡̧̢̛̻͎̘͉̦͚̳̗̱̗̮̫̲͎̟͚͖̠̣̺͎̠̤͈̩̞͈͚̣̳̟̣̓͊͊̍̀̇͆́͐̔̔̅̿̅̋̈̈́̔̈̒̌̆̃̇͗̂̐̽́͊̋͗̚̕͘͜͜͠͝͝ ̴̧̧̢̧̧̢̛̦̗̦̭͔̝͎̘͍͚͈̰̦̲͍̥͚̱͓̦̙̞̱̜̹̍̉́̿̃͆̆̾̀̍̊͛̈́̽̈́̀̋̒̾͗͗͂̾̊̇̃̈́̋́̓̄̂̐͊͂̏̿̅͂̚͘̚͜͠͝͠ͅͅͅͅW̵̢̧̨̥͇̳̩͍̪̓̉͊̓̏͜͠Ã̵̧̨͍͚̭̱̦̯̣͓̱̫͑͋̋̾̎͑̽̔̒͆̉͒͑͆̎͑̑̒͋̑̀̒̿͑̄͋̒͆̑͆̔̈̈́͂͆̾̾̌̃̏̊̓͘͜͝͠͠T̸̨̧̛̮̙̰͇̹̭̥̙̝̱̼̥͖̟̃̔̑̒̓̈́͂̈́̂̓̂̎̋͊̌͋̂͂̃̂͝͠͠͝ͅĘ̴̧̡̢̧̡̠͉͉͕̤̳̘̖̙̭͙͕̻͍̖̗͙̯͈͔͋̄̾̄͛͌͌͒͛̇̎͋̉̈́̆̈́̍̎̆̒͑̒̅̋̊̄̈̿͒̈̋̾̊́̔̚͝͠͝͠ͅŖ̸̠̫͓̞͈̫̉̂
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » January 8th, 2009, 9:07 am

CHAPTER 14
A refreshing breeze blew across the Pride Lands. The storm had passed, and the grass was beginning to turn green once again. The wind blew through Mufasa's mane. Although some of the lions still showed dirtiness of yesterday's battle, his mane was well groomed and cleaned. A proud Ahadi walked up to Mufasa and laid his paw on his shoulder. "It is time, my son." he said. They began to walk to the top of Pride Rock so that the animals below could see them. Mufasa stopped short and watched his father continue to the very tip. Ahadi put little effort into a hoarse roar. It was important that the new King should have the louder roar, and the more obvious they made it, the better. Ahadi turned his head to Mufasa and nodded. Mufasa approached him from the left. Without hesitating, he let out a tremendous roar that echoed through the Pride Lands into the ear drums of every animal. It lasted until he was out of breath. The animals made noises of approval, then the rest of the lions and lionesses roared which deafened the other animal noises. Ahadi and Mufasa descended from Pride Rock. Both Uru and Sarabi nuzzled their new King, while Ahadi watched proudly. The Pride Lands had a new King.

--

A small pack of hyenas was making their way towards the Outlands. A watchful lioness caught sight of the pack moving towards her. She immediately let out a deep alarmed roar. The other lionesses woke up and turned towards her. Zira scanned the area and located the threat. Then she looked around at her own pride and only saw weakened or injured lionesses. Even so, they lined up and formed an impressive and deadly force. It was rare for a hyena pack to attack lions, but after the moral boosting victory the previous night, they seemed to be thirsty for more. "Into the caves!", Zira called out. The lionesses hurried themselves into the caves of the Outlands. She knew they stood a better chance in closer quarters, where they couldn't easily be surrounded.

The pack dug their way into the numerous tunnels and caves of the Outlands. They numbered around 20, which was plenty to drive a small group of wounded lions out of their turf. With the loss of her father, however, Zira was leading an ever weakening pride without a dominant male. She was beginning to wonder if they could last long enough for a rogue male to notice them. Damn you, Taka. Why can't you be with me now in my time of need? She cleared her head of these thoughts and looked around. As long as they weren't surrounded they could hold off the hyenas for a very long time. The pack of hyenas began entering the caves when a loud roar was heard. The hyenas froze in their tracks and watched as a lion came into view. They hyenas bolted. They had no intention of starting a fight with a pride of lionesses in front and a strong lion attacking from the rear. "Haha, those hyenas are nothing without a leader." Taka said as Zira emerged from the cave. "Thank you, Taka." she nodded, "It has come to my attention that we are no longer safe here on our own. I humbly ask - may we join the Pride Lands?"

--

Taka was grooming himself in the elephant graveyard. He gazed at the sun. It's past midday - they're late. he thought to himself. Just as he was thinking this, three hyenas ran around the corner. One of them slipped and tumbled into a pile of bones. "Ehehehehehe!" Ed laughed. "So, uhh, whats up, boss?" Banzai asked. "You're late again." Taka said. "Perhaps I ought to twist your neck so your head faces upwards? That way you could tell what time it was from the sun." Taka said, flexing his muscles, "Although, I can't stay mad today. After all, our planned worked. Zira agreed to join the pride. I must thank you all for your brilliant play - you put on a wonderful show." The hyenas smiled with pride. "Now, we should go over -- " "Taka?" he was cut off. "Taka is that you?" Zira came around the corner. "Taka what are you doing here I've been looking ALL over -" she stopped when she saw the hyenas, "What are..what are you doing talking with hyenas?" "N-Nothing they're just my friends." Taka said, quickly, "They were my friends in cubhood." Zira tilted her head and said, "Well, alright. I need you to come with us. We're moving on." Taka left the hyenas without saying a word.

The lions, who were still beaten and bloodied from the battle, made it to Pride Rock. Zira approached Taka. "Taka, you knew it was the hyenas that killed my father and you are still friends with them?" she asked. "It wasn't these hyenas that attacked us, these ones are...different," he chose his words carefully, "now can we forget about it? I'm allowed to have friends." Taka said, walking up the rock. "My King...", he said, "Zira and the Outlanders wish to join our pride." Mufasa looked down at the group of lionesses and, without hesitation, called down to them, "Make yourselves at home, everyone! I'll have Rafiki look at those wounds of yours."

[ REALLY not happy with this chapter...I had writers block the whole time....dammit. ]
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » February 13th, 2009, 8:27 am

CHAPTER 15
The sound of crickets echoed through the fields. Ahadi and King Mufasa were on their backs staring up at the sky.
"The stars are truly beautiful on a night like this. I've come to appreciate such things now that I'm getting older. Or maybe I just notice things better without so much responsibility." Ahadi chuckled.
A shooting star caught their eyes. It spanned the entire sky and then it was gone.
"What exactly are those, dad?" Mufasa asked.
"They are the lines that connect between our Kings of the Past. They are the messages sent between them, the plans for the future. They're schemers, what can I say?" Ahadi relaxed.
"Is that true?" Mufasa said, doubtfully.
"We've come to accept it as the truth." Ahadi smirked, "We lions don't often have the best explanations."
Mufasa's mind kept going back to the promise he had made Taka. Could the Pride Lands really have two kings? Mufasa had never mentioned this to his father. Perhaps now would be the opportune time.
"Dad?" Mufasa said.
"Mm?" Ahadi replied with a low voice.
"I need advice on something, I made a promise to Taka a long time ago, but I don't think I can keep it." Mufasa began.
"What promise was that?" Ahadi inquired.
"I promised him that once I became king, I would make him king as well. We would rule together as brothers." Mufasa stated.
Ahadi stood up and stared at him. "What? How could you make that promise to him? You know he will remember it!" he said.
"I know..but I was really young, he made me promise." Mufasa said.
"Tomorrow you'll tell him that he is not to be king - not ever. You are the sole and rightful king. Mufasa, let me tell you something. When you and Taka were born, there was a dilemma. You see, when a Queen gives birth to two male cubs, it is customary to get rid of the younger one." Ahadi said.
Mufasa gulped. He had never known about this custom.
"Rafiki said we had to go along with the custom, but your mother insisted that the cub lived. She loved you both too much to allow such an act to occur. I dunno, I guess Taka reminded her of her loving father." Ahadi said.
"But why does that custom exist in the first place? How could anyone allow it?" Mufasa questioned.
"Well, let me tell you the story of Karfurr. Karfurr was born after his two brothers. While he was growing up, he began to realize that his place in the Pride was not needed. It was an embarrassment to be a subordinate male and still be royalty. Wanting the kingship so badly, he devised a plan to get it. While his pride was moving to another location, Karfurr told the pride that there were lush valleys in the area, and he told them exactly where to find the valleys. Instead of finding a paradise, the pride encountered a much larger pride. The larger pride killed their males, while Karfurr watched from afar. When the majority of the lionesses escaped, they could do nothing but accept Karfurr as their dominant male. Because of Karfurr, this custom has been put in place, in hopes that nothing like this would ever happen again. Your mother and I, however, decided to take the risk. I am deeply troubled that Taka spent his adolescence dreaming about the kingship. Your mother and I will have to talk to him about it." Ahadi finished.
Mufasa was very thoughtful. The news would crush Taka, but he had to tell him in case Taka became like Karfurr.
"Do you understand how dire the situation is?" Ahadi asked.
Mufasa nodded. "I will talk to him first thing in the morning."
Moka
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Chinook » February 17th, 2009, 2:30 am

This is a very impressive story you have here, Moka. I like the way it is presented and the way it flows with how the characters are. You have a really creative and well thought out plot. I've readseveral other TLK prequels in other sites, and I can honestly say that they are usually nowhere near yours. Most people have trouble keeping the characters in-character, let alone maintaining a believable flow to the storyline. Keep on writing, but take your time and you'll keep the quality. This is a very well written story. Good job.
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » February 17th, 2009, 6:48 pm

Thank you very much, Chinook. I find it very difficult to keep the characters in-character. Its the most difficult part for me when I write or Role Play. Thanks for the compliments :D
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » February 19th, 2009, 11:36 pm

CHAPTER 16
Morning. They were so dull for Taka. Nothing ever happened. Morning was for hunters. Their prey were sleepy and weak. He was not a hunter. He had never been invited, even though his brother had been. They left Taka out of the hunt because he wasn't as strong as Mufasa. There was never a morning where something interesting happened for Taka. He spent his mornings laying around, thinking. Thinking is what he did best. Even while the pride slept, he thought. The topics he thought about varied, but were mostly about Zira, the kingship he was about to acquire, and how he would rule.

He kicked a bone off of Pride Rock and listened to it hit the ground. The pride was messy. They often left remains of their prey on Pride Rock. When I'm king, I'll make a rule about that. He thought.

A lion approached him. He heard it and turned around to see his brother. "My king," Taka said, "Shouldn't you be attending your royal pig-out or smooching with your bonnie lass?" He said with a grin.

"Taka - I've got some very bad news." Mufasa said in a low voice. "I talked with dad. He said only I can be king. I'm not allowed to make you king as well."

Taka's grin drooped, and then his upper lip quivered. "But you made me a promise." He said, slowly.

"Yes, but I can't keep it. Dad says --"

"Forget what he says! You're the king! You do what you want without his consent now! He's a nobody!"

"But I don't want two kings ruling. Don't you see? It couldn't work out, its never been done before..."

"You mongrel pup!" Taka snarled. He swiped at Mufasa with his paw, hitting him in the jaw. He growled, but Mufasa kept his head down. "Is everything you say a lie?" Taka rasped. He was nearly choking. "Do you realize I've spent my entire life waiting for the day I'd be crowned king? What kind of brother are you to deny me that?" He spat. "Get outta my way." He said, shoving Mufasa aside as he walked down Pride Rock. "I will not forget this broken promise, brother."

Mufasa sighed and walked into the den. He collapsed. The last thing Mufasa wanted was to upset his brother. They had been such great friends their entire life.

---

Taka was stomping through the fields when the hunting party intercepted him. Sarabi and Sarafina were dragging a Wildebeest while the others looked around. Uru spotted her son. Knowing something was amiss, she left the group, signaling them to continue without her.

"Taka, Taka, what is the matter?" Uru asked. She raised his head with her paw. "You're crying. What has happened?"

"Muf-fasa is hogging the kingship t-to himself." Taka sputtered. "That s-selfish brat!"

Almost as if she'd prepared for this moment, she said, "Taka, listen to me. Just because you won't be king doesn't mean you're not important. You're part of the royal family. All your subordinates will listen to you just as if you were the king."

"You know they won't. They've never listened to or respected me." Taka seethed.

"Some do." she smiled, "All of the newcomers, especially that Zira, seem to hold you in high esteem."

Taka lifted his head. An idea came to him. "Thanks, mom." He said, and he ran to catch up with the hunting party. "Zira! Zira!" he called out. She turned her head and looked around frantically. Their relationship was still a secret. Nonetheless, she stood still, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"Zira, come with me." Taka whispered.

"Taka, what are you doing?" she snarled. "Need I remind you we're not supposed to talk in public?!"

"I won't ask again, come with me!" Taka ordered.

Taka began walking away. She hurried to follow him. While they were walking, Taka said, "Let's run away together. We'll start a pride and run it the way we want to."

Zira stopped in her tracks. "Taka, you know I can't." she said, "I can't just abandon my group. They need me."

"They'll come with us then." Taka suggested.

"They won't. They're not going to leave the Pride Lands. Life is good for them here." Zira said. "Life is good for us here."

Taka shook his head. "It won't be" he said, "I'm not to be king."
Moka
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby KiarasMate » May 24th, 2009, 4:30 am

wow, that was an amazing story Moka. ^^ It really gives a thorough detailed insight to what might have happened before TLK1 took place. ^^ I loved how you drew out the storyline over time and the character development was nicely paced. :) The part on how The Elephant Graveyard came to be, was very interesting and I liked how you incorperated Zira and her Pride into the story as well, although it seems a bit odd that the Outlanders would be banished back to the Outlands before TLK2SP takes place, if they had already lived there and were comfortable there, but I guess times could change their previous living quarters. ^^ Still, everything else in your story seemed very logical and well thought out. ^^ A most definite enjoyable read my friend and I hope you'll continue to work on the story, unless that was the end of it. hehe. ^^ Either way, this is a magnificent Fan Fic and I hope you'll write more stories in the future as well Moka. ^^ Keep up the amazing work my friend. :)
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby Moka » May 24th, 2009, 6:59 am

Oh no, I'm not quite done with it xD I still need to give Taka his scar. This was pretty much my first fan fiction, and I can admit that I'm not the best writer but I try my hardest! The Outlanders are a major flaw in the storyline for the TLK movies. I'm trying to come up with a story that can explain it all since Disney does not explain it. It will explain why the lionesses who supported Scar weren't in TLK at all. I hope to advance into TLK timeline and explain things from Scar's perspective. There were many events that could have taken place in The Pride Lands that were not shown in TLK. All TLK did during that time is show Simba growing up with Timon and Pumbaa.

I'm very pleased you are enjoying it so far and that you've taken the time to read it :] I do plan on writing more fan fictions. The story of Scar has always fascinated me. And the fact that so little is known about his cubhood and life in general opens up a huge opportunity for me and other fan fic writers to show their stuff.
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Re: A Mother's Love

Postby KiarasMate » May 27th, 2009, 5:57 am

Awesome! ^^ I'm glad that this isn't the end of this Fan Fic Moka, since it's really coming along nicely and I think there are a lot of interesting topics you can tackle in regards to Scar and the events that weren't delved into from TLK. ^^ Open plots are a Fan Fiction writer's best friend. hehe. ^^ I'll be looking forward to new chapters in this story my friend, as well as any new stories you decide to write. ^^ Seems like the Fan Fiction side of all TLK forums isn't very active, but I'm always looking for new stories to read and review. hehe. ^^
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