The Fallen Prince: Nuka's Renewal (Part 1 of TFP)

[CommandoTheLion]

Awesome xD Lucky you got a day off xD i just went back yesterday xD

[Applejack]

x3. I dont think I'm lucky.

[CommandoTheLion]

yes you are xD you got great writing talent xD

[Applejack]

Anyways... Here we go. Starting Chapter Ten Now!

[CommandoTheLion]

Yay cant wait till its out xD w0000t xD

[Applejack]

Oh noezors... I hit a Writers Block... This isnt good....

[CommandoTheLion]

[quote="NukaKun"]Oh noezors... I hit a Writers Block... This isnt good....[/quote]

Oh that cant be good O.o

[Applejack]

GARG. Imma try once more before I go to sleep tonight

[CommandoTheLion]

You gonna post more? O.o

[KiarasMate]

Very nice story thus far NukaKun. Like everyone else has said, it's nice to read a story from Nuka's perspective and even though Nuka isn't exactly my favorite character, it's still interesting to read what he might have been thinking or how he turned out the way he did. Your writing style is nice too. If I had to give any suggestions, it'd just be to try and make sure to run a spellcheck over your work before you post it, just to work out the few typos you might have missed. Not that big of a deal though really. lol.

There's just two things that I questions slightly from the story thus far. The first of them being, this. I take it that not a whole lot of time passed since Zira and her group were banished to The Outlands, either that, or I didn't read it right, but if this be the case, I find it sort of hard to believe that Kopa would forget about Vitani that easily and that quickly if they were as close of friends as you pose them to be. ^^ If in fact, a lot of time did pass and I misread your story, then I would have to pose the question of how old Kopa and Vitani were when they were together in The Pride Lands, since they don't seem all that old from the way you portray them now.

The other thing that made me think was, how exactly did Kopa and Kiara get out of The Outlands so easily? I thought you wrote that Zira ordered the majority of her lionesses to stand guard, just in case Simba should come looking for his missing cubs? It just seems hard to believe that they could make it out without being spotted.

Those are just two things that I found puzzling but don't get me wrong, it doesn't take anything away from your awesome story. I just thought I'd let you know about that is all. perhaps I read too deeply into Fan Fics though and I only mean it as mere observation and am not trying to deconstruct your work. ^^ Take it as you may my friend but keep on writing this fantastic story. I look forwoard to reading more of it. ^^