Life in the Pridelands

[TheWhistlerify]

Should I remember that? =O

I don't but sometimes when I seek inspiration or is bored I read some fanfics over again, when I do I'll let you know

[Mike]

I'm impressed =D I finally got around to reading this and I like it! I just hope Vitani gets in on te action before too long And I have to admit that I find the "adult" sections more interesting than the cubby sections. I'm sure that's just personal preference though =)

[YFWE]

Well, I finally got caught up after having only read the prologue before this. You've got a grand story going here so far. You're fantastic with your attention to detail and the way the storyline simply does not at all seem rushed. I think many writers fall into the issue of writing simply action, blow after blow, and don't take time to let the story flow and expound on some of the finer background details. I rather enjoy your dialogue as well--it's not perfect, but perfection is certainly hard to come by. At the least, I find myself sympathizing with the characters--particularly Kivu--and look forward to watching the young'ns grow up even more. The one gripe I might bring up is the fact that we haven't heard from Zira or this other pride in forever. It might be a good idea to reintroduce them soon, else they're going to look like supremely minor characters and it'll lack the desired effect when they do return. I know that with so many characters it can be a bit difficult to give them all their face-time, but I would assume that at least Zira is one of the main antagonists. As such, she should proooobably be mentioned a bit more often.

That's all I've got. Once again, way to go thus far.

[Azdgari]

Aye, I plan to give everyone a reminder of that conflict in the next chapter. Thanks for the advice, though, we definitely should be seeing more of ZIra. =]
Mike, ask and ye shall receive. ;D
Update. =]

[YFWE]

Just finished with the new chapter! It was another solid addition to your fanfic, so good job there. I hope I'm not the only one seeing this possible budding romance between Azdgari and Vitani. It would certainly do her some good.

I've two recommendations for you if you don't mind. First and foremost, I would recommend keeping your words or phrases concurrent with the Lion King world. For instance, saying "like a movie in high definition"... that's a good simile, but it feels somewhat out of place due to the fact that we're in the savanna and talking about lions, not humans. Something to think about there. Also, ALWAYS be sure to somehow denote when a character is thinking something. There were times when a character's thoughts were written in the same way as the narrator's, which made it a bit confusing. Italics should work fine there--I saw that you used italics SOMETIMES, but if you could use them all the time for thoughts like that, that would be awesome.

Keep up the good work, as always.

[Azdgari]

[quote="YFWE"]Just finished with the new chapter! It was another solid addition to your fanfic, so good job there. I hope I'm not the only one seeing this possible budding romance between Azdgari and Vitani. It would certainly do her some good.

I've two recommendations for you if you don't mind. First and foremost, I would recommend keeping your words or phrases concurrent with the Lion King world. For instance, saying "like a movie in high definition"... that's a good simile, but it feels somewhat out of place due to the fact that we're in the savanna and talking about lions, not humans. Something to think about there. Also, ALWAYS be sure to somehow denote when a character is thinking something. There were times when a character's thoughts were written in the same way as the narrator's, which made it a bit confusing. Italics should work fine there--I saw that you used italics SOMETIMES, but if you could use them all the time for thoughts like that, that would be awesome.

Keep up the good work, as always.[/quote]
xD Yeah, I felt like the high-def thing was a bit off, but it was late at night so I went for it. You're right, though, probably better to keep language consistent with the LK universe.

As for italics, *smacks forehead*, it's just a matter of me forgetting to re-italicize, since MLK doesn't carry over italics from Word. I'll go do that now. Thanks for the advice!

[Azdgari]

Update. Written while sick, so don't judge too harshly. xP

[QueenRalexia]

awesome Az I live it ans I am sorry you are not feeling well hope you feel better

[YFWE]

Well, that was a fun little chapter. Nothing much in the way of plot development aside from Zira's scene (which was a nice touch, I might add), but still very solid. I would imagine that the next chapter will be interesting as well, what with the competition moving to the huntresses. Good luck writing it.

[Azdgari]

Whoo! That was a long one. Lotta development for little Kovu, though. Hope you all enjoy it! =D