Little Diamond

[LionPrincess]

this is Part 2 of my story



As Almasi headed back to the den she caught a baby antelope that had strayed from the heard and brought it back to Rajali who was already eating

Rajali was a large lion, one of the biggest in the outlands, he had light brown fur and a black main and four scars on his side from when he was fighting with Radhi (the king of the Pridelands,

“Keep it for yourself little one” he told her

“And well done on catching your prey”

“Thank you” she replied

“Rajali” she said as she started to tuck into the baby antelope

“Yes little one”

“Where is my mother and father” she asked him as she took another bite of antelope

“well you see Almasi your mother was a Pridelander and she was exiled because your father was an outlander” he told her looking sad that what he was about to tell her was going to upset the young cub “after you were born your mother was killed by hyenas” he stopped for a while as he noticed that Almasi had stopped eating and was staring at him as her eyes filled with tears

“killed” Almasi thought her eyes felt like they were about to burst

“And my father” she asked as she rubbed her eyes to hide the tears

“We never knew who your father was” he told her “we think it was Zuberi he was the leader of the Outlanders and after your mother died he just disappeared but Kumali said he can see him every so often in the distance watching you play”

“Do I look like my mother” she asked as she found a comfortable spot and lay down

Rajali walked over and lay beside her “you grow more like her every day” he comforted her as he nuzzled her and she quickly fell asleep.


Plz Comment x thanks x

[Mike]

You're doing okay here =) But I think that such a dramatic revelation needed a little more depth, rather than just a casual question. It would have been nice to know more of Almasi's thoughts and reactions; maybe you could add her thoughts in italics in future chapters =) It helps us understand the character better.

Keep up the story ^.^

[LionPrincess]

Part 3

The next morning when Almasi awoke there was nobody to be seen “as usual” she thought to herself as she walked outside and looked for the sun, that was always blocked by termite mounds, as she walked threw the horrible lands that she called home she ran into a little lion cub, she looked a lot younger than Almasi,

“Hey, were is your mama little one” Almasi asked the cub hoping that her mum was close by

“I don’t know” the little lioness said with a whimper

“Which Pride are you from” she asked the young cub

“We are Pridelanders, please don’t kill me” the cub said with worry

“I’m not going to kill you, what made you think that” Almasi asked

“Radhi told us that Outlanders kill Pridelander cubs if they catch them” the little cub said with fear in her eyes

“That’s not true well not in my case anyway” Almasi told her “what’s your name” she asked

“Naliah” the cub told her

“I’m Almasi” she replied “would you like me to help you find your mother?”

“Yes please” said the small cub as she suddenly trusted Almasi

“Well let’s go then” Almasi said as she looked into a very dark area covered by trees

And with that the two cubs set off, looking for Naliah’s mother, not even knowing if they would find her alive.

[KopsTheTerminator]

I like the RP so far =) Keep up the good work!

[Nadra]

Hmm, interesting. I really like this story. You are a very good writer.

[LionPrincess]

thanks i will try my best to get the next part posted tonight but it will be hard because i have got my daughter plus my little brother 2night

[Lionking012]

Great story so far. Do you have a certian plot?

[LionPrincess]

[quote="Lionking012"]Great story so far. Do you have a certian plot?[/quote]

Yip, why?

[Mike]

Good section =) I hope they find mommy lol

I think longer sections would be something to consider, so more happens in each chapter.

[Lionking012]

mm. just wondering. deff. cant wait for more