Be Careful, Princess!

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby TheWhistlerify » May 6th, 2010, 4:40 pm

This is getting good!
Can't wait for the part in which Ahadi meets Uru =]
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
My 'The Lion King' fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10370841/1/
My 'Pokémon' fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9017329/1/
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
TheWhistlerify
Bananas

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Good source of potassium

Posts: 20346
Joined: March 8th, 2010, 4:12 pm
Location: Israel
Nickname(s): TW
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 22

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby YFWE » May 9th, 2010, 1:47 am

And the plot thickens! Haha, this is getting pretty good. Can't wait to read more!
Image
Image
YFWE
Begger, stealer, borrower

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Svanire

Posts: 2923
Joined: April 9th, 2009, 2:35 am
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 29

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby divsalley » May 13th, 2010, 12:09 am

Chapter Seven: In The Enemy's Lair



Uru was resting by the banks of the Zuberi when she heard the rustling of grass. Her eyes flew open immediately and she scanned her surroundings as carefully as she could. Suddenly, a beautiful doe jumped out of the bushes and came for a drink. Uru wasn't hungry, for she had had her share in the afternoon. So she didn't move as the doe drank and went on her way. She'd been away for two days now, and she wasn't surprised at all to find search parties scouring the lands. Her father must've sent them after her. She'd had a tough time avoiding all of them while wading through the tall grass. She'd finally found a spot where she could be away from the pride's prying eyes for the night. So she lay down again as she watched the stars shining brightly in the inky blue sky.

"Please don't let him know where I am," Uru whispered to her ancestors. "I'm not ready to go back yet... Please... don't let him find me yet." And so a whiff of air caressed her fur, sending her her ancestors' love and support. She sighed in relief as she slept... But nothing would prepare her for what she was going to find tomorrow.

***


Back at Pride Rock, Mohatu was furious. He'd just reached another dead end in his search for Uru. The third search party he'd sent had come back without a trace of Uru's whereabouts.

"Where is she?" he asked himself aloud. He was pacing around nervously. Tahiti stepped in just in time to calm him down.

"We'll find her, Mohatu. I promise you this... We will follow any trail possible to get her back," she told him. Mohatu looked at her and sighed.

"I've failed our daughter, Tahiti... She left because something was bothering her! I didn't even ask her what was going on! I could've averted this!" Mohatu said.

"You know how stubborn Uru is... She wouldn't even have told you about what was going on with her... If she wants to do something, she will. We wouldn't have been able to stop her. But we will get her back. I know we will," Tahiti said. Mohatu nodded and stopped pacing. He knew that Uru would only return when she wanted to. He only hoped to the Great Kings that this would be sooner than later.

***


Uru woke up when the firs rays of the sun hit her face softly. Her scarlet eyes blazed in the sunlight as she looked around. She yawned richly and decided it was time to move. She couldn't stay here any longer. She couldn't let anyone find her trail. As she plodded on, she realized she was already at the eastern border of the Pridelands. As she looked at the hillocks ahead of her, she was curious to find out what lay beyond. As she made her way towards them, she expected to see a lush Kingdom with herds grazing all around. But what she saw shocked her. There was a Kingdom there, but barren and empty. The land looked parched and almost dead, except for the trees that dotted the landscape sparsely.

She walked in warily, hoping that no hungry beast would attack her for food. Luckily, there weren't any animals there. But she knew she'd be in danger if she went further. What she saw was even more horrific. Skeletons lay everywhere she looked. The corpses lay there rotting. They all looked shriveled. Uru winced at the sight. A huge den was situated at a distance, and even though the land around it looked dismal, it radiated a sense of some long lost power. She sighed as she walked in further, hoping to get a better glimpse of the creatures living there. Just a distance away, she saw a frail lioness eyeing her greedily. Uru didn't know what to do as the lioness charged at her. Then, out of nowhere, another lioness jumped in front of her in an effort to shield her. Roars were exchanged furiously by the two strange lionesses as Uru looked on.

"We mustn't, Ansara! We're not going to stoop as low as to eat our own kind!" the one shielding Uru said.

"I'm not as strong as you, Avina... Mako has sentenced us to death by not moving!" Ansara retorted.

"I know, and we must help her now! We've got to get her out of here before Mako sees her," Avina said.

"No!" Uru heard herself say. She was stunned at herself, too, but then she collected herself as she said, "I want to stay and help. Take me to Mako. I need to find out how this happened." Avina and Ansara were shocked at first, but then they looked resigned as they led her to their den. Soon they were at the foot of the den. Avina signaled Uru to wait here as she and Ansara went inside to get Mako. She didn't know what to expect, but as she watched, an enormous lion with cold, grey eyes and a gaunt, menacing face came to her with a leer. His left cheek bore a deep scar that would never heal.

"What have we here?" he asked. His voice was a leer. Uru's insides squirmed as the lion surveyed her. There was an eerie feeling about him that she came to loathe more by the minute.

"She is... new, Sire... She was alone... and... we brought her here for your judgment," Avina said warily.

"You have done well, Avina. Leave us, now... I wish to speak with her... alone," Mako said. It was unbearable for Uru. She had no idea what this lion would do to her, but she didn't want to seem weak. She stared right back into his cold, grey eyes.

"I... am Mako... But you already know that, don't you?" Mako asked her. Uru nodded curtly and Mako smiled. But to Uru, it was something sickening.

"I am Uru," she said as calmly as she could.

"Uru... That's... interesting... Well, Uru... you are welcome to stay here... but there will be hardships to endure. And I assure you, you will not be given preferential treatment... even though you're beautiful enough to get it," Mako said slyly. It was enough to make Uru retch, but she controlled the urge and nodded curtly at him. She was going to do everything in her power to defeat this monster. Now she knew that she would deem herself worthy if she freed this pride from his clutches. But for now, she knew she was in very dangerous territory.
Image
divsalley
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Remember who you are!

Posts: 428
Joined: July 15th, 2009, 3:15 pm
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 1

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby Gerada » May 13th, 2010, 2:33 am

Chapter Seven was great! Mako does not seem like an evil character, he sounds, so far, angelic.
[In progress.....]

Image
[Credits go to KiaraKovu, Huge Thanks!]
Gerada
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Hakuna Matata

Posts: 1930
Joined: May 1st, 2010, 11:57 pm
Location: [Classified]
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 2

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby YFWE » May 13th, 2010, 6:40 am

Mako sure seems like a greasy little thing, doesn't he? Jeeeez, I'm getting bad vibes from him already! Not much else to say about the chapter as it was rather short. Story's still looking good thus far, though!
Image
Image
YFWE
Begger, stealer, borrower

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Svanire

Posts: 2923
Joined: April 9th, 2009, 2:35 am
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 29

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby divsalley » May 14th, 2010, 3:37 pm

Thanks for your comments! Will post a new chapter soon!
Image
divsalley
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Remember who you are!

Posts: 428
Joined: July 15th, 2009, 3:15 pm
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 1

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby divsalley » May 18th, 2010, 3:31 pm

Chapter Eight: Partings and Meetings



Ahadi's impatience was growing. He was no more an adolescent. His mane had grown to its entirety and so had his body. He was now a well built lion with a gaunt, resilient face. His jade eyes now gave anyone he looked at the impression of being surveyed. For quite some time now, he'd been asking Ni and Kona to let him go avenge his parents. They had urged him to stay calm until they decided it was time, but his frustration had reached its peak. So today, as he approached them, he struggled to express his feelings in the lightest way possible.

"Sire, I've been asking both of you to let me venture out on my own to avenge my parents. You had urged me to stay, which I did. But now I would like to know what I'm staying for," Ahadi said as calmly as he could.

Kona looked at him and said, "We understand, Ahadi, but please trust us! You won't have to wait long."

Ahadi tried not to retaliate, but something inside him made him burst out in anger. "You don't understand! The lion who killed my parents is out there, ruling over my lands as King! Or maybe you're doing this deliberately because Mako's your son!" he yelled. For a minute, Ni and Kona say anything. But then Ni got up and approached him with his brow furrowed.

"Do you think we like what he did?" he asked Ahadi angrily. "You have no idea what it's like to watch your cubs fight each other! You have no idea how painful it is to watch them resent each other! Yes, I do feel bad that I have to send my lionesses after my own son. He wasn't always like this! I've known him since he was a little, harmless cub! Do you expect me to just hate him because of this? Do you have any idea how painful it was for me to inflict those scars upon him? Well, do you?" Ni finished.

"Grandfather, I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't realize... But you've got to understand how I feel!" Ahadi said sadly.

"We do, Ahadi... and we want to help you... We will help you. Just give us some time to think out a good strategy. It shouldn't be long now," Ni said reassuringly.

"Thank you, grandfather... I'll wait," Ahadi said and nodded at Kona before leaving. As he walked out, he saw a young lion smiling at him. His pelt was the color of sand, and his mane was a dark brown. His dark, brown eyes looked kindly at Ahadi, who smiled at his friend.

"You're late," the lion said with a smile.

"As you knew I would be, Tanabi," Ahadi said, smiling back. "Let's go!" And so they broke into a run and raced each other to the river. Tanabi was leading. By the time they reached the river, Tanabi was worried about him. Ahadi wasn't his usual, spirited self.

"What's wrong, Ahadi? Is everything alright?" Tanabi asked him.

"I just have a lot on my mind," Ahadi said evasively. Tanabi sighed at this and didn't pursue the subject any further. On their way back home, too, Ahadi was unusually quiet. Ahadi looked at the den as they approached it. Ni and Kona were waiting for him. His pace quickened as Tanabi watched, bemused. They entered the cave and Ni motioned Tanabi to join the rest of the pride, which was waiting for something.

"Kona and I have decided to name Ahadi our Crown Prince. He will take over from us. For now, he has the authority to give you orders as and when necessary, but only with our consent. Do any of you object to this?" Ni asked. No one objected. They'd all known Ahadi since he was a cub, and they'd all accepted him as the King's adopted son. They had no objections whatsoever to his being named Crown Prince. Tanabi was smiling at his friend, who smiled back gratefully.

"My first request as Crown Prince to you, Sire, would be to let me take a few lionesses to the Kingdom across the desert... I need them to help me fight Mako," Ahadi said.

"You are determined, then, to fight him?" Ni asked him.

"I am, Sire," Ahadi said.

"Then choose your lionesses carefully. I cannot let you take the whole pride. I can, however, let go of a few of them. Choose wisely," Ni said.

"I would like to take Kona, Sire. She is experienced in leading these lionesses. That will be of great value." Ni smiled at this and nodded. It took Ahadi a little while to choose his party. Tanabi waited, but Ahadi didn't choose him at all.

"We're ready to leave," Ahadi said as he looked at the group he'd chosen.

"Let me join," Tanabi said firmly.

"This isn't your battle, Tanabi. I'm touched by your offer, but I cannot let you risk your life for my cause. Ni needs you to help him guard this Kingdom in the absence of these lionesses," Ahadi said.

"You need me more," Tanabi said.

"Tanabi is right, Ahadi. He is your friend and wishes to help you. Let him do so," Ni said. Ahadi sighed and looked at Tanabi.

"Alright, Tanabi. Join us. We have to start immediately. The desert won't be easy to cross, but we'll get by together. Come on!" Ahadi said and they set off towards the desert. Ni watched as they left, and hoped that Ahadi would find it in him to not let his rage control him.


***


Uru was assigned a position at the eastern border of these lands to stand guard and report any sign of invaders. Today was no different. As she stood in the searing heat of the sun, she looked around to check for any sign of intruders. Things seemed calm until midday. Uru felt her strength ebbing away in this heat, but she couldn't give Mako the chance to punish her. So she shook the exhaustion off and started looking again. For a minute, she thought she could see a moving black speck. But it was gone as soon as it had come. She sighed as she looked around again.

"The sun is playing tricks on me again," she thought. "It was never this bad in the Pridelands."

Behind a rock, Ahadi was watching the dark lioness looking around in all directions. How were they to pass without her noticing? Then it hit him. A lion would be unwelcome... but a lioness didn't pose any immediate threat. He crept back to where his group was waiting.

"Alright... here's the plan. Zuma," Ahadi said as he looked at one of the young lionesses, "you go in there and tell her that your pride threw you out. Meet us here at sunset and tell us what you find out." Zuma nodded and plodded on, as if completely tired. This time, as Uru scanned the landscape, she couldn't miss Zuma's movement. She frowned as she watched the strange lioness walk towards her. Why was she willingly walking into a trap? As the lioness collapsed, Uru ran to her. She lifted her by the scruff of her neck onto her back and walked back slowly. As she neared the den, she met Avina, who had become a close friend of hers.

"What happened, Uru?" Avina asked her.

"I found her. She collapsed just a little distance away... So I brought her here. There's enough water for her to get her strength back!" Uru said.

"Well, do it soon! If Mako sees here, he's not going to let her go! He's going to make a slave out of her!" Avina said. Uru nodded as she walked to an almost dried up pool. Then she splashed some water on her face and watched as Zuma stirred.

"You've got to get out of here!" Uru said urgently. "Drink some water and get out of here!" Zuma nodded and ran to the rock where Ahadi had hidden. She was very careful not to let Uru watch her. As she neared them, she was out of breath and a little confused.

"They're already in trouble, Ahadi. Mako has ruined them! That lioness gave me some water and asked me to leave before he saw me. So I ran. Don't worry, she didn't see where I went. I zigzagged my way here. So there's no way she'd find out about all of us," Zuma said. Ahadi was deep in thought. Suddenly, his face was adorned by a grin. Everyone else was confused.

"What was her name?" Ahadi asked Zuma.

"Well, the one who carried me was named Uru. There was another lioness named Avina there. Those two seemed pretty close," Zuma said.

"Alright, Zuma... Your work here is done. Tomorrow, I'll go meet Uru. She might actually help us. If she hates Mako so much, then she might want to get rid of him. It's worth a try," Ahadi said.

"You want to persuade her to help us?" Tanabi asked him.

"Yes, I do. And I think she'll agree," Ahadi said.

"But what if she doesn't? What if she turns against us and warns Mako? We're not ready to ambush them yet!" Kona said.

"Well, we won't have to. Because if she decides to go against us, we'll make sure she doesn't get the chance. We're going to have to keep her away from Mako in that case," Ahadi said seriously. So the next morning, Ahadi waited and watched from behind the same rock as Uru looked around. Even from far away, Ahadi could tell she was a beautiful lioness. There was something about her that intrigued him. He suddenly realized what he was there for. But he couldn't forget that for one, glorious minute, he was happy to be just looking at her, even from that distance. He watched as she looked around carefully. He walked up to her slowly, hoping she'd notice.

Uru was looking around when she spotted a lion walking directly towards her. For a minute, she thought he was lost. But she knew she was wrong the minute he smiled at her. She raised her eyebrows as he approached her. She had to admit that there was something about him that interested her. She didn't know whether it was his windswept mane ir his piercing jade eyes...

"What're you doing here?" Uru asked him.

"Well, I was hoping you'd ask me who I am, but... I guess your hospitality doesn't extend to lions like me," Ahadi said slyly.

"Ah... And what kind of lion are you?" Uru asked, a little irked at the vanity in his voice.

"I'm a challenger. I wish to take over these lands by defeating your King," Ahadi said.

"How bold are you to actually declare that to me, a lioness of his pride?" Uru asked, although a little interested.

"Are you saying you enjoy this situation? Your King has obviously done nothing to improve these conditions. I'm giving you a chance to help me, here. If we succeed, we can improve the state of these lands," Ahadi said firmly.

"But if we lose," Uru said, "it'll still worth a try. So yes, I'll help you. But you must get out of here immediately. If Mako sees you..."

"Then he'll have hell to pay. You have no idea the scars he's inflicted upon my family. I'll be ready for him. But for now, please keep this a secret. I don't want Mako to know about this just yet. Can you come with me now?" Ahadi said.

"No, but you can stay here. No one ever comes here. Mako usually stays in his den... Just stay hidden... I can fill you in on what's going on," Uru said with a smile. Ahadi was still looking into her scarlet eyes, not at all listening to what she was saying.

"I... I'd like that," Ahadi said as he smiled at her. "I'm Ahadi, by the way."

"I'm Uru," she told him. So they sat down and talked for a while. As Ahadi walked back home that day, he couldn't help but feel happier at having a complete stranger to talk to... someone who had no idea what he'd been through in the past. Why he felt that way, however, he wasn't sure.
Image
divsalley
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Remember who you are!

Posts: 428
Joined: July 15th, 2009, 3:15 pm
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 1

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby TheWhistlerify » May 18th, 2010, 4:26 pm

Awesome =D
Sometimes I simply sit down and write because I cannot help it. Who knows, perhaps one day something will come out of it. Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
My 'The Lion King' fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10370841/1/
My 'Pokémon' fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9017329/1/
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
TheWhistlerify
Bananas

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Good source of potassium

Posts: 20346
Joined: March 8th, 2010, 4:12 pm
Location: Israel
Nickname(s): TW
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 22

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby divsalley » May 18th, 2010, 5:01 pm

[quote="TheWhistlerify"]Awesome =D[/quote]

glad you liked it!
Image
divsalley
User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Remember who you are!

Posts: 428
Joined: July 15th, 2009, 3:15 pm
Gender: Female
Pride Points: 1

Re: Be Careful, Princess!

Postby YFWE » May 19th, 2010, 7:23 am

Good going! Looks like some sort of adulation is growing between Ahadi and Uru, which of course was to be expected. Next chapter should be pretty great, I think!
Image
Image
YFWE
Begger, stealer, borrower

User avatar

Years of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membershipYears of membership

Svanire

Posts: 2923
Joined: April 9th, 2009, 2:35 am
Gender: Male
Pride Points: 29

PreviousNext

Return to Fan Fictions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests