The Fallen Prince: Nuka's Renewal (Part 1 of TFP)

How does this Fanfic cross you?

Poll ended at November 10th, 2009, 4:47 am

Awesome! Such a great read!
6
86%
Its ok.
0
No votes
Mehh...
0
No votes
Could use some work.
1
14%
Really, bro? No Life!
0
No votes
I think that you could really use some work with your writing.
0
No votes
Dont. Change. ANYTHING!
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 7

Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby CommandoTheLion » October 11th, 2009, 3:15 pm

[quote="NukaKun"]All od you kind people support me when Its not even that good ._.[/quote]

awww dont say that ofcouse its good i love it xD
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby Applejack » October 11th, 2009, 3:28 pm

Chapter Seven

A few minutes later, Nuka and Vitani found themselves surrounded by lioness'. They took a breath of relief as they realised it was Mothers' hunting party. Nuka set the cubs down and stepped on their tails so they wouldent run. "We have a gift for Mother," he said, grinning with glee. "Is she among you?" One of the head huntresses, Ngoya, stepped forward. "Your mother is at the den still, Nuka." she said. "What marvelous food you have brought us!" Nuka shook his head. "Not food," he said fiercely. "A gift for mother."

-------------------------------------------
Vitani, meanwhile, was looking at Kopa. That Cub, she thought. Probing her memories, they went back about 2 months. She was sitting atop pride rock with Kopa, leaning against him. I'll never forget you and your love, she said, purring lightly.

Kopa raised an eyebrow. Well, he said. Can we still see each other?

Vitani shook her head. Not with what Mother has planned, she said. I love you, but... I cannot. She looked at the ground, saddened.

Kopa nuzzled her lightly. Then, he said, Do me this one favor? Vitani looked at him. What favor is that? she asked. You and me both, he said. Lets always cherish what we had. Vitani nodded, tears in her eyes, and buried her head into his side.

------------------------------------------

Vitani's eyes widened. It was him. Her eyes lit up with glee. She would finally get to see him again! She nodded to Nuka. "Yeah," she said. "Lets go take them. I'll take the boy, you take the girl." Nuka nodded, picking the Kiara up in his mouth again.
"Yech..." he exclaimed through closed teeth. "Foul tasting pridelanders."

Vitani walked up to Kopa as Nuka walked towards the den. "Dear," she whispered in his ear, "I'll get you out later. For now, lets go." She winked at him, then hissed. "Come on, Pridelander. Get your tail in gear and WALK!"

Kopa looked over, confused, and, head and tail down, started to pad behind Nuka. Vitani smiled sweetly and devilishly, following him.
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby CommandoTheLion » October 11th, 2009, 3:40 pm

Lol awesome xD i love it but thanks for telling me over MSN xD
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby KopsTheTerminator » October 11th, 2009, 3:47 pm

[quote="NukaKun"]All od you kind people support me when Its not even that good ._.[/quote]

OMG you're kidding!?! Your writing skills are way better than mine! This is a pretty good fan-fic! I love the idea that we get to know Nuka's story! (Favorite comedic charater and one my faves list :3)
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby CommandoTheLion » October 11th, 2009, 3:51 pm

[quote="Kopa23"][quote="NukaKun"]All od you kind people support me when Its not even that good ._.[/quote]

OMG you're kidding!?! Your writing skills are way better than mine! This is a pretty good fan-fic! I love the idea that we get to know Nuka's story! (Favorite comedic charater and one my faves list :3)[/quote]

She's right i cannot write a story like that O.o
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby Applejack » October 11th, 2009, 7:19 pm

Ok. Few shout outs. Thanks to all of the people who have supported my fail Idea so far x3.
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby LilTiger » October 11th, 2009, 7:21 pm

OMG! This is awesome! I'm really loving it! Please do more!
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby Applejack » October 11th, 2009, 7:37 pm

Ythankou :goodnight: Imsurprised that anyone liked it. I wasent too sure about it :sad:
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby Applejack » October 11th, 2009, 8:03 pm

Chapter Eight

As Nuka walked, he found that Kopa was now cooperativly walking next to him with a defeated look on his face. Kiara, on the other hand, was violently swinging around in his mouth still, trying to get loose. Kopa looked up to her, and, in a small voice, said, "Just... give up Kiara. They've won." Kiara looked over at her brother, astounded. Nonetheless, she settled down, looking very sad.

Nuka smirked. This would HAVE to work! If it diddent... he diddent know what he would do. Vitani looked over at Nuka with an approving smile, then to Kopa with a devilishly sweet smile. She turned forward and said, "I'm running ahead to ready mother and the others." She said, breaking into a run. Nuka nodded, and Kopa looked over at him. He was half tempted to make a run for it, but shook his head, thinking otherwise.

"M..Mister Nuka?" He said in a small voice. "Where are we go--" He was cut short by Nuka.

"None of your buisiness, Runt." he said through Kiara's fur. Kopa turned around, walking ahead silently again. Every few seconds he would open his mouth to say something, but would think against it.

A few minutes later, the party reached the Den to find Zira, her guards, and Vitani waiting for them. Nuka could pick out the lioness' that were hiding here and there. "My, my, Nuka.", she said, grinning ear to ear. "You've finally done something right for once! Bring them to me at once."

Nuka nodded, and, pulling Kopa by his tail, Kiara in his mouth, he took the cubs over to Zira. Dropping them at her feet, he looked up at her expectantly. "D...did I do well, Mother?" he asked.

"Yes, my son." Zira said. "You have done well." She examined the cubs, then told the assembled lioness' to take up guard around the Den, lest Simba be worried and come out here. "Nuka!" she said, finally done. "Take these cubs to the rock-cages in the Den."

Nuka nodded. "Anything for you, mother!" he said, picking the cubs up again. By now he was used to their taste. He walked into the den without looking back.
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Re: The Fallen Prince

Postby Applejack » October 11th, 2009, 8:43 pm

Well, people. Chapter Eight is now Live. I'll be back later, Its time to go fishin!
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