Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Postby LionPrincess » November 7th, 2009, 12:30 pm

Fumo

And The Fire Rescue

By LionPrincess

Fumo was traped, their was nowere to escape, he was surounded by flames and their was nobody to help him, he knew that this was the end, the small cub curled himself into a ball as the raging flames burned around him, he just wished his father was here to help him, he tryed to shout but the smoke from the fire filled his lungs so that he could hardly breath never mind shout, the smoke made the cub pass out but as his eyes started to close he saw a dark figure standing over him and as his eyes closed fully he heared "you will be alright" , as he woke up he was all alone at the bottom of Priderock,

I will add more later
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Re: Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Postby KopsTheTerminator » November 7th, 2009, 5:06 pm

It's a good story so far. I wonder who that mysterious lion is... By the way, why are you now using full spots? Just asking. =)
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Re: Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Postby CommandoTheLion » November 7th, 2009, 8:19 pm

This is awesome cant wait for more xD
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Re: Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Postby SilverSimba01 » November 14th, 2009, 12:24 am

WOW this is a nice start, the story is good so far, I hope that you add more as good as the first, keep up with the good work :D
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Re: Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Postby KiarasMate » November 14th, 2009, 12:40 am

Hmm, a nice start to what could be an interesting story. Not enough written to really comment further than this though, but I'm still looking forward to reading more as you post it LP. :) Keep up the nice work my friend. ^^
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Re: Fumo And The Fire Rescue (short story)

Postby Baya » November 15th, 2009, 6:57 am

Some constructive Criticism: Please use better grammar. Some people might have trouble understanding whats happening. Though it's just a suggestion.

I like the story so far =)
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