Understanding

Understanding

Postby Kopalover » April 4th, 2011, 12:26 am

This is a story, (Oh god not another one D: ) About another Pride. Liviano Pride. From my RP called : Lost ones, and Mheetu's pride. I have no idea how you will react, leave comments, CRITICIZE D: I need to get better ;D Even though nobody reads anything I post :(

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Hushi walked out of the den, all the lionesses and lions of his pride jerked their heads up. He let out a might roar, as it was his time to be king. His fathers pass, was his open door to king-dom. His black mane was still growing in, and still yet to cover his tan pelt. Part of his mane covered one of his blue/green eyes, and his light brown muzzle. He was now the Liviano king, yet he still needed a suitable queen, he was betrothed to her before they were both born. Jushkia, the prettiest adolescent lioness in the Liviano Pride. Bright green eyes, red/orange pelt, with a tan muzzle and belly, and matching toes. Mushi nodded at her, and signaled her to claim the throne with him. She brought her elegant body towards him, watching every step she toke. He roared again, this time Jushkia along side him.

A rule in the Liviano Pride, is to get your spouse pregnant before reaching the throne, Hushi obeyed this rule as Jushkia is heavily pregnant. Everyone in the pride was overjoyed, as this beautiful couple would make stunning cubs. Only Jushkia knew that she was having the Pride's first royal twins. The cubs kicked and punched as Jushkia and Hushi roared to claim Royalty.

Hishi and Jushkia entered the den to lay down on their new throne. Hushi helped Jushkia lay down, as her back was hurting for the extra wait in her belly.

"Are you okay?" Hushi asked Jushkia with a worried face.

"Yeah, perfectly fine." Jushkia exhaled, she was in much pain. As Hushi could see on her face.

"Any on and off pains?" He asked her, wondering if she was in labor.

"From the last hour, about... ever 5 minutes." She exhaled holding her lower stomach with her paws.

"Uh... News flash! Hushi, Jushkia is in labor!" Muska interrupted startling the two soon-to-be-parents.

"Oh, no, no. I can't be!" Jushkia stated with plenty worry in her eyes.

"Hushi, get the Shumshum*!" Muska yelled, running towards Jushkia, white mane flying everywhere.

Hishi ran to get the ShumShum, jumping over lions and lionesses.

Worried about his cubs.

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ShumShum: What the Liviano pride calls a doctor.
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Hope you like it.
Please tell me what i need to improve.
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Kopalover
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Re: Understanding

Postby changa » April 24th, 2011, 6:50 am

You should work on spelling and grammar. Otherwise, well-written, and I want to know what happens next. ^_^
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