[PRIVATE: DGFone & Thewhistlerify]

[TheWhistlerify]

Umeme's answer really didn't tell Lina anything knew. She too understood that, obviously, her brother in law was shaken up by what he's been through just, what was it, two or three days ago? Nevertheless, she couldn't help but feel as if he wasn't just not feeling himself at the moment, and it seemed as if her sister really was feeling too relieved that he was alive to think that anything was out of the ordinary. Or perhaps Lina herself was overreacting and all her brother in law needed was some time?

••••••••••

Muroki clearly either ignored Delano's sigh of frustration or thought nothing of it, seeing how he didn't express any annoyance in response. However, when his brother then partially got in his face in order to be able to look him in the eye, he slightly raised his own head and moved it aside so that the cubs were once again in his line of sight. "What do you think?" he asked after a short silence. Surely it wasn't that difficult to figure out, was it?

Looking at his brother, the lion's expression finally changed from that neutral one when it hit him that they really were alone. It turned into a mixture of fear and even anger; anger which was pretty much directed at himself. "I... I let them go... Don't you see?" he asked, frequently looking in the direction of his family to make sure nothing was wrong. "Not only was it obvious that Sanders was planning to do it, but he said that he would go after the cubs... And what did I do? I got killed..."

[DGFone]

Umeme was able to tell that Lina didn't seem to be too convinced, and it made her rather nervous. "Just let Delano talk to him, Lina, something makes me feel like Muroki would talk him more than even to me." While it did make her sad to see her mate as such a state, she was convinced that he wasn't going to remain that way. And with two cubs to look after, she wasn't able to devote as much time towards Muroki as she wanted to, something that had made her feel guilty when she had first noticed him in his current state. A part of her wondered if she could even ask Lina and Delano watch over the two as she dealt with Muroki in a more proper fashion, but she knew that it would really mean dumping another two cubs on Lina alone to handle, and that wasn't going to work.

---

"Muoki, s-stop!" Delano cut in quickly, his voice cracking at the last part that Muroki said. "If- if we hadn't gone there, then we would have found out about it when he showed up at our dens..." He had to stop as his own emotions got in his way, specifically the fear he had felt when he had ran after Sanders, not knowing if Lina and Akili had already been killed... As well as before when he ran down the gorge side, only to find Muroki's still body.

"If anything, it was my fault! If I hadn't gone after him, he would have not cared about us-" Struggling to keep talking, Delano pressed his head on Muroki's. "When I ran after him, what do you think was going through my head?" Breathing heavily, he now found himself only able to talk not much above a whisper. "Hatari told me I would die going after him, but I wasn't going to let him get Akili and Lina! Even then... I already thought I was too late..."

Shaking his head in grief, Delano clung onto his brother as he stated to cry softly, feeling overwhelmed.

[TheWhistlerify]

Lina looked at Umeme with a small smile. "You really think so?" she asked. "I wouldn't say that..." It was true that Muroki and Delano were brothers but, at the same time, her sister was his mate and the mother of his cubs. She seriously doubted that her brother in law trusted any of them more than the other. If anything, she felt certain that Umeme and Delano were the dearest to him in the world (including Marini and Ubawa, of course). "I'm sure he'd talk to you as well." However, something was telling the lioness that her sister hasn't really given it a try, possibly because she believe that all Muroki needed was some time. "Have you tried?"

••••••••••

"What does it matter?" asked Muroki with an impeccable shaking of his head. "It could have just as well been some random rogue. I need to be able to keep my cubs safe and I can't!" Breathing heavily, he did his best to keep his emotions in check. "I just can't!" What good was he as a father if he couldn't provide his son and daughter with that one, basic thing that was protection? Whenever he looked at them in these past couple of days, the only thoughts that crossed his mind was how vulnerable they were. Their fragile lives could be ended in the blink of an eye. "If they'd shown up in our den, I still wouldn't have been able to do anything, so what's the difference?"

[DGFone]

Umeme nodded her head slightly. "Yeah, I tried, but he didn't say much," she told Lina, "I tried to talk to him several times actually, but I was never able to get him to say much." She then motioned at the cubs, who were completely oblivious to what was going on around them. "And with two of these balls of fluff to watch over, I never really got an opportunity to really sit down and talk to him yet..."

---

Delano lifted his head when Muroki continued to talk, and felt his frustration with his brother return. "And what about me?" he asked coldly, unintentionally letting out a small growl, "you think I felt any different? That- that I let him toss me around?" Delano rose himself higher so that he can look at Muroki at a more level height. "If- if he hadn't decided to play around- to... to torture me until he got bored, I wouldn't even be here right now!" It was an odd feeling, knowing that he was only alive simply because Sanders didn't want to kill him right away, not that it meant that Delano had enjoyed the beating he took because of that. "I know what it feels like to be... useless." Despite his anger, he muttered the last word very quietly. "But still... what good are you right now? Right now, can you really do anything? Wake up, Muroki!"

[TheWhistlerify]

If anything, Umeme's answer made her sister a little uneasy. Even with Marini and Ubawa constantly around and demanding their parents' watchful eye and attention, surely the fact that Muroki wasn't very talkative towards his own mate wasn't a good sign at all. "Would you like Delano and I to keep an eye on all of them for a short while so you can properly talk to him?" she offered. It really wouldn't be much of a bother. It's not like she was going to permanently have 2 more little mouths to feed or something.

••••••••••

Truth be told, Muroki wouldn't have chosen the word useless. Failure was more fitting to describe the way he was feeling about himself at the moment. "Wake up?" he asked, as if confused by the question. "I haven't slept since our first night here." In other words, he's been awake over the two previous nights already. While his face and expression in general probably weren't a good indication to that, a good look into his eyes would easily reveal just how exhausted he was. "I can't do anything if I'm asleep, can I?" It was quite a shocker that Umeme hasn't noticed yet.

[DGFone]

Umeme glanced at Lina, feeling foolish., "Well, if it's not too much for you, then, yeah, I guess that would be nice." While she really did want some time to talk to Muroki, a part of her didn't want to leave the cubs alone, nor did she really want to burden Lina and Delano any more than they already were. But she figured that if she can get Muroki to start feeling better, then even with the cubs around, they will have more time together.

---

All of Delano's anger at Muroki faded at this new revelation. His mouth slightly agape from being about to say something, he could only stare at his brother, slowly realizing just how run down Muroki looked. To make things worse, he found himself not staring at his brother, but himself, finally beginning to understand what he must have looked like to Lina and others. "Muroki..."

Trembling slightly, Delano reached out and embraced his brother. "Not you too... please not you..." Muroki was always the stronger one! The one who had saved him from going insane in that cave when he had lost all hope... It really scared Delano to see his brother so vulnerable right now. "You have to be strong, Muroki..." Delano begged, "...for Umeme and Ubawa... and... for me too. You have to stay strong for all of us..." He clung on to his brother, as though doing so would put Muroki to sleep and remove the problem.

And yet, at the back of his mind, a part of him was telling him that when he too had trouble sleeping these past few days, did he really have a right to tell Muroki that?

[TheWhistlerify]

Lina offered her sister a small smile, nodding her head in approval. "Don't mention it." Watching over her niece and nephew for a short while really wouldn't be a big deal, even with Delano being in his current condition. All it meant, as the lioness had said herself, was just keeping an eye on the two while Umeme and her mate had a proper conversation. "Besides, watching the three of them together is always fun." she said. "They put on an amusing show. Most of the time."

••••••••••

Muroki blinked a few times, confused by what his brother was saying and, quite obliviously, not noticing the urgency and dispair in the other lion's tone. "W-What are you talking about?" he asked quietly. "T-T-That's what I'm doing..." It's not that he was having nightmares like Delano. He was forcing himself to stay awake because he was terrified of the slim chance that, should he fall asleep, something might happen to his family. If he were awake, at least he would be able to delay whatever attacker might come while they escaped. Surely even a weakling like him could buy some time...

[DGFone]

Umeme grinned and nodded, agreeing with Lina about the three cubs. "Yeah, the three of them go well together, a long as they are not up to causing trouble." Looking over at the trio, she saw that they were busy wrestling with each other, with Marini able to hold her own remarkably well against the other two. "But Lina, I just don't want you to have to worry about all three if it's too much."

---

Delano shook his head, feeling frustrated once more. "No! It's not what you're doing!" he argued, "how can you do anything in the state you're in right now?" He tried to think of a way he can tell Muroki what he was feeling, and it came to him very quickly. "Remember how I was when I couldn't sleep... How... dangerous I got? Muroki, if you continue like this, it's not someone else Ubawa and Marini will need to worry about, but you!" Lifting his head up so that he was looking at Muroki in the eye, Delano decided that it was time to tell his brother something that he never wanted to tell to anyone who didn't already know. "Muroki, when I had my nightmares... once I accidentally hurt Akili. I could have easily killed him... It was me he was afraid of then, not some other... And even now, Lina and I agreed... to keep Akili away from me... for his own safety -- Is that what you want to become?" Embracing his brother once more, Delano needed the contact to comfort himself as much as Muroki. "You are not helping them by being like this, Muroki," he said softly. "Stop. Please, if you can, don't do this..."

[TheWhistlerify]

Lina chuckled, playfully rolling her eyes as she watched Akili goofing about with his cousins. They looked so happy and oblivious to everything that was bad in the world. Just looking at them was heart warming. "It won't be too much, trust me." she said, looking at her sister. "The two of you are just going to have a talk, remember?" She giggled. "It's not like you're going off on a second honeymoon or something. I mean, on a first honeymoon."

••••••••••

"I can't do anything anyway..." said Muroki quietly. "I'm a failure... But when something happens, I'll at least be able to buy Umeme and the cubs time to make it to safety..." When he heard what his brother had to say next, though, he frowned. "That is not the same!" He retorted. "I'm choosing not to sleep, I don't have nightmares and I would never, ever hurt Marini and Ubawa!" The lion looked rather shocked at what his brother was implying. "How can you say that??"

[DGFone]

Umeme stuck her tongue out at Lina. "How do you know that we haven't gone on a honeymoon?" she asked, clearly teasing, "nor for that matter, do I remember you and Delano going on one either, so look who's talking." Despite her teasing, she was glad to know that Lina was willing to look after the cubs while she will talk to Muroki. As much as she wanted to pretend that everything was fine, she knew that he really wasn't.

---

At first, Delano was left speechless, unsure what to say. Finally, he figured it out. "It's not about... about what you will do or never do," he explained, "you know just as well as I that I would never hurt Akili either. But what you are doing to yourself... you won't be you for much longer - you are already no longer yourself! What you are doing right now, you will hurt them!" He gripped his brother tighter, as though afraid that he was going to lose him forever. "Muroki, you are not a failure. Don't you dare say that!" His voice starting to tremble again, Delano ignored it and continued. "You saved me when I had lost all hope... when I was ready to die because I thought it was the only thing left to do. You - Muroki stayed strong for both of us, so where is he now? What have you done with my brother?"