[PRIVATE] A Rogue's Light

[AustralianChaos]

Seeing Imani walk away, Tanga watched her go, hoping she would see his concerned look, but made no move to follow her...he knew she needed some time alone to come to grips with whatever was troubling her, and so gave her that space.

Despite the fact that it was dark, Tanga was not tired, having already slept through most of the morning. He tried to settle himself in the clearing, but found attempting to rest useless, he was simply too worried about Imani. Stretching in resignation, he got up, wandering off in the direction Auni had left. Since Imani was not up to talking with him right now, he decided he's best make good on his promise to the lion that he would hang around with him a little more.

Tanga eventually found Auni, although he appeared to be resting as well. "Auni," he called quietly to the sleeping form, hoping he was awake. "Auni, you awake?" It was impossible to tell if the lion was sleeping or not, so Tanga just sat back and waited to see if the lion would respond.

[Skittakallista]

Auni felt, rather then saw, Tanga walk up to him. He wondered breifly whether Imani had opened up to him. It was impossible to tell with Imani. She was very unreadable.

"Yes, Tanga, I am." He rolled over so he was facing him. "I was just talking to mother." He smiled softly. The star that he knew was her twinkled. "Any luck with Imani?"

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga smiled as Auni referenced his mother, noticing he looked up at the stars as he did so. Tanga sat down beside Auni, also shifting his gaze upward. "Your mother watch you from up there, too, huh?" he asked softly.

But then Auni brought up Imani, and Tanga's soft expression vanished, turning to a look of concern and worry as he turned, looking back the way he came, hoping to maybe see Imani coming back, changing her mind...but no such luck.

"No, Auni...no, she's completely closed off. Ra's worried sick...and I'm scared. Imani's going through something similar to what I went through with my parents. There's some memory she has that can't stop thinking about...but she does not want to talk about. Whatever it is, she's struggling to come to grips with it...it's obvious she managed to put whatever memory this is behind her for a long time, and now...for some odd reason, it's resurfaced."

Tanga sighed his trademark heavy sigh, his head hanging slightly as he stared at his paws. "She just wants some time alone for now, and I'll give it to her, but I realy hope she decides to speak up about whatever's troubling her soon...I..." he paused, realising that Auni still was not aware, at least as far as he knew, of the new level of closeness between him and Imani. His nervousness made him dance around the issue. "...I'm scared for her. If the way I behaved regarding my parents is any indication, every day she keeps this hidden she'll feel worse."

Tanga flopped down in the grass beside Auni, rolling onto his stomach and looking up at the stars once more himself. "You know...all this time I knew of our ancestors watching over us, but I've never given thought to which ones could possibly be my family." He gazed up, trying to pick out which three stars could belong to his late family. "Do you know which one is your mother?" he asked, hoping he was not prying too much into Auni's personal life.

[Skittakallista]

Auni smiled at Tanga's question about his mother. "Yes, she does look down on me. I can feel her watch over me." He watched Tanga's expression change to a sort of grimace as he considered his question about Imani. When he told Auni that he hadn't opened up to her, auni felt his heart sag. What was so terrible about this memory that rendered her unable to talk about it? He was sure she'd feel much better once she did. But they couldn't force her to and it would be very unwise to force her to.

He detected some hesitation at one point, as though he was neglecting to tell him something (though he was pretty sure what it was considering how close Tanga and Imani had become lately) but he decided to let it slide. Tanga would tell him in his own time, just like Imani, he was sure, would do. But this closedness she was displaying... It distressed Auni, like it as distressing the other two.

At the mention of his mother, Auni looked at her star again and smiled. "Yes Tanga, I do. see that one right above us?" He pointed with a paw. "The bright, large one, in between those four ones that kind of make a box around it? That's her. The other four are ancestors of mine, all great rulers, according to her." He sighed, remembering when she used to tell him and his siblings the story's of all their different ancestors. He looked at Tanga, who appeared to be squinting at the stars, trying to work out where his family was. "You'll find them. They'll stand out to you, they'll seem like they're special. It makes it easier to talk to those who are gone, fir me anyway. It really helps, being able to see her."

[oXButterflyKissesXo]

Imani slowed her pace down to a walk, and she wandered through the night. Her violet eyes never seemed so dark and lifeless, but she was sure no one was looking so it kept her walking on instead of hiding herself like she wanted. Animals were settling down for the night and mothers were nesting down with their babies, making Imani softly smile. The lioness could remember when her sister and herself had their mother do that for them when they were small, and their mother was still alive. And her father would always wrap himself around them to keep Ra, Imani, and their mother safe.

She walked on through the lands, keeping an eye out for predators (though as a lion, she basically had the advantage to being the safest in the night) and her eyes also on the other animals. When she saw some of them flinch, she knew they would try to attack her to keep their young safe, so she darted away from them. She could be matched with the cowardly lion right about now, but she was not one to fight when it wasn't necessary...was she? This other side of her that was growing so much more dominant in her, she was unsure of how she really was now. What did the others think of her? Did they judge her? Even if they did, nothing they could do about it now, right?

The lioness's ears were perked when she lifted her head to look behind her and see a couple of cubs stray away from their father, as he walked towards them to get them back. The two boys were laughing like hyenas and running away from him, making him smile. They obviously had no intention of sleeping, and the father looked like he was about ready to fall asleep right there on the ground through the loving smile for his sons. Imani watched a little longer to see the dad catch his kids and bring them back, displaying small, cubbish yawns while they were suspended in their air by their neck fur and brought back to the resting spot. Like the kids, it was time for her bedtime, so she walked back to where the others were.

Upon coming to the den site, she drew in a sharp breath which was a little louder than she wanted it to be, and walked through the pride. Ra was with Mulfalfa, and Tanga was with Auni, talking about something up in the air. She followed their gaze and looked up to the skies. I imagine it would be much easier if you were just up there, Kamau, the creamy lioness thought as she walked over to Tanga. Not too close or far away from him, she lay diagonal of his back and placed her head on her paws, relaxing her muscles a little more with every second that passed and closed her eyes, but did not fall asleep. Just yet, anyway.

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga followed Auni's paw as he pointed up at the sky, managing to find the star he was pointing out after a few moments. "Yeah, I see it..." he whispered, before listening as Auni advised him on how he might be able to find his own family among the countless stars in the sky.

He allowed himself to relax, and gazed at the stars with less purpose and intensity, just looking for a vague feeling that there was a group that stood out above the other, a group that held special meaning to...There!

Tanga emitted a stifled gasp, pointing his paw up at an angle roughly halfway between directly overhead and the horizon. "Those three!" he said, his paw steadying on a small collection of three stars, seperated noticably from the rest of the dots in the sky. He could see that one, in between the other two and slightly to the side, was smaller than the others, yet strangely brighter. "Uhuru..." he whispered as he looked at that particular star, before focusing on the other two, appearing to shine slightly brighter as he whispered to them. "Kali...Busara..."

Tanga sighed, smiling up at the three stars he could now identify as his parents. "Thanks, Auni," he said softly, never taking his eyes off the stars as he did. "You're a good friend."

He paused as Imani returned, settling herself down near the two of them, her presence reminding him of his feelings for her. He waited as Imani relaxed, and seemed to drift off to sleep, before speaking up once more, feeling a desperate need to get his feelings out in the open.

"I...I guess you should know, Auni, as my friend. Imani and I, well..." he paused, realising that he had no idea where his relationship with Imani stood at this point. "...well, I love her, Auni. that's why it hurts me to see her like this. I know what she's going through, sort of...and I want to help her, but...I don't know how. She doesn't want to talk to anyone, and I only talked about my parents when it became too much for me to take any more."

He looked over at Auni, silently pleading with his friend to help him...and help Imani. "I don't want Imani to reach that stage...I was ready to take my own life when you brought me back. If Imani...if she decided to..." he choked up, unable to bear the very thought of Imani taking her own life like he had contemplated doing. "I don't think I'd ever forgive myself," he finally whispered, feeling his own eyes start to swim from the effects of his though train, as he prayed for a solution to Imani's problem to reveal itself.

[oXButterflyKissesXo]

She did her best not to move her ears or any other part of her body to give away that she wasn't sleeping, but it was growing to be extremely difficult when they were talking about her. They obviously couldn't tell she was awake, so she was keeping her career as a good actress going. It was heart-warming to the lioness to hear Tanga talk about how he loved her and she was important to him. At the same time though, she wished he would stop worrying about her. And plus all of that, combined with the happiness that she was loved by Tanga and the guilt that he was worried about her, she was also wishing that they would all just move on. She felt bad that she always seemed to be the one who was moody or bringing them all down.

The lioness couldn't take how much they were talking about her, so to draw their attentions away from it, she rolled over onto her back, her paws slightly up in the air and her eyes closed. She let out a sigh and tried to fall asleep.

[Skittakallista]

Auni smiled as Tanga pointed out the three glitering stars that were his parents and sister. They were, indeed, very special stars, very close together, protecting each other, almost. It was touching to behold. "No problem." He said, replying to Tanga's words of thanks. "No you can actually see them watching over you."

A movement to their side made him tear his eyes away from the sky but it was only Imani, settling down for the night. He noticed Tanga's pained expression and waited for him to say something. When he spoke of their love... Well he wasn't suprised, and, he was suprised to feel, he was not very jealous either, In fact, he was very pleased for Tanga. They would make a very good pair.

When he expressed his concerns for Imani, well. That clarified that she needed help and fast. If she got to the point that Tanga had gotten to... Well. It did not bode well. Imani was alot more sensitive then Tanga was and Tanga was sensitive enough! He thought for a moment. Tanga was choking up, very distressed, very tired. "I think." Auni said, slowley. "That we can't force her secret out of her. Whatever it is about...." He wondered briefly whether Tanga knew this was about her brother, Kamou, did she say? "... Her problem, she will be ready to say when she's ready. We've just got to be there for her. Let her know that we're there for her. Maybe we could ask Ra if there's anything about their past that could be worrying her. I just hope that will be enough...." He fell silent.

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga nodded at Auni's words. "Thanks," he said simply, finding himself feeling a little drowsy now. "Seems I can always count on you when things start going downhill, huh?"

He stopped talking as he noticed Imani shift and move beside him. He froze wondering if she could possibly have woken up and heard him...the thought bringing a deep blush to his cheeks. He was still nervous about his feelings, and realised that Imani overhearing all that probably was not the best thing.

But the lioness appeared to be simply shifting in her sleep, as she rolled onto her back and released a small sigh. Tanga took in her appearance as she lay her, her paws in the air, and chuckled...she looked so cute like that, very much like the cub she tended to act like at times. Turning back to Auni briefly, he smiled at his friend. "I'll think on what you've said, Auni...thank you again."

Tanga rolled over once more, finding himself facing Imani as he lay down on his side, drifting off under the stars. "Oh, Imani..." he whispered, even though he was sure she could not hear. "Why won't you let us help you..."

[Skittakallista]

Auni chuckled at Tanga's remark. "Yeah, just call me Auni the lifesaver." He watched as Tanga watched Imani roll over. He half hoped she was awake and knew that they wanted to help her, but she was almost definatly asleep. She looked so vunerable...

"No problem, my friend." He murmered to Tanga's thanks. As Tanga turned away to look at Imani, Auni looked back up at the sky. But he didn't look at his mother, at least not at first. He looked up at the three stars that were Tanga's family. I hope you're proud of him... And I hope you show him what to do as my mother has shown me... Goodnight.

He closed his eyes and drifted off.