[PRIVATE] A Rogue's Light

[oXButterflyKissesXo]

Her ears picked up the sound of a lion and she looked over instantly to the gold-yellow male who she had grown soft on. "Hey". Hearing his question, she perked her head up and trotted over with a small hop in her step which signaled she was feeling a lot better after the sleep. When she was up close to him, she sat down and nodded her head with the same youthful smile she wore when she was able to. "Very much so" she replied, "like a cub" she giggled.

As rude as she must have looked, she opened her mouth up to let out a yawn with a little squeak at the end like she had a habit of doing ever since she was born. Her violet hues looked back at him and she smiled larger, "how about you?"

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga blush...along with his smile...increased dramatically as Imani replied to his question, giggled and yawned. She was so carefree and happy when she was in a good, and Tanga really wished he could be like that, too. But how could he possibly let himself go like that?

"I'm okay," he replied, rubbing his neck idly with a paw to ease the steady aching it was now sending out. "Neck's probably going to need a little while, but I really needed that sleep," he smiled a little more broadly. "Good to see you feeling better, too."

With that, Tanga's smile vanished in an instant, as he remembered how Imani's mood had been brought crashing down to the point where he needed to comfort her...and who had lead her to the place where Neru's body had...and probably still did...rest.

He sighed, giving Imani an apologetic look, knowing she would probably be confused by his sudden mood swing. "I...I'm sorry, about before, Imani," he said, his head hanging, letting his mane obscure his face. "I shouldn't have lead you to that waterhole. I just wanted to talk to someone, and I...I didn't think."

As he fell silent, his train of thought continued from Neru's body to the aftermath, and the words and feelings Tanga had heard anf felt while he had comforted Imani. He was still worried about exposing his true feelings...worried Imani would not return them, or else detest how close he was getting to her. He was nervous and afraid...but was also afraid of losing her if he did not speak up. Indecision was hitting him hard, and he did not know what to do.

[Skittakallista]

Auni was roused from his sleep by Imani's footsteps and Tang's voice asking wether she had slept well. He detected unconditional love and devotion in the question. He wondered wether Tanga had told her he loved her yet, as he obviously did. One part of him resemted Tanga, as Imani clearly had a thing for him too, but it was a vey small part of him and it made him feel very bad for thinking it. If they were happy together, there would be nothing he could do about it exept give them his blessing, which he would, of course, be honored to do. There would be a lioness out there somewhere for Auni, he would just have to look for her. Maybe, together with Tanga and Imani (and Mufalfa and Ra if they wanted to) they would start a new pride.

He opened his eyes. "Hey... Is it morning? Or night? I think I've lost track of time... Are you guys ok?"

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga snapped up at Auni's words, thankful for the distraction that meant he did not have to see what Imani was thinking, fearful that she was going to hate him for leading her to Neru's body like that. "Hey, Auni!" he said, although his attempt at a happy tone was slightly ruined by his warring emotions of love for Imani, fear of her feelings for him, and countless others.

"I think it's morning," Tanga said, taking a quick look outside the den they were in to check it himself. His time as a rogue had given him some knowledge of orientation and sun positioning. "Yeah, looks like it," he said, before making his way back inside, briefly meeting Imani's eye and throwing her another apologetic look, before hiding his face behind his mane once more in his guilt.

"Anyway, I'm fine, Auni...just got up from a rest myself. How are you?"

[Skittakallista]

"I'm fine, I'm fine... A bit beaten up, but what can you do?" He laughed weakly. He noticed that Tanga kept throwing Imani guilty and apologetic looks, as though he had done her some great wrong. Imani seemed to be quite shaken up aswell. She was nervous and quite jittery, jumping at small noises and glancing at the entrance to the cave. "How about you Imani? Are you alright?" He missed Tanga's 'don't go there' look as he was staring at Imani, concerned.

[oXButterflyKissesXo]

Imani didn't even have the chance to reply to Tanga's question before Auni came in and stopped the 'moment'. She was fine with, but she was just wondering why Tanga would be giving her those looks. Imani knew that it wasn't his fault for leading her there, as she knew him well enough to know that he never meant to cause anyone pain or hurt.

When she was asked by Auni if she was alright or not, she perked her head up from being in her own little world at the time to look at him. He looked concerned for her, and that put a slight smile on her face and her ears went back on her head with the happy, outgoing violet orbs she used most of the time. "Of course!" She said enthusiastically with a large smile to the male. The lioness's eyes looked over to Tanga to see him giving her the same look as he did before, and she looked away from it and back at Auni. "And it's good to hear you're well, too Auni" she added in.

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga looked from Auni to Imani, not quite sure what to do. He wanted to talk to Auni, but did not know what to say...and his guilt over Imani was still running rampant, refusing to leave him alone...and all-but-convincing him that his relationship with the lioness was going down the rapids over it.

Finally, he remembered something from his near-death vision, and suddenly craved something he had hated to death recently. "Excuse me for a minute, you two," he said softly, his voice dejected and sad. Without really waiting for an answer, he left the den, his head hanging and his tail hanging limp. He was feeling he had hurt his friends; Imani by leading her to Neru, and Auni by having him involved in the fight with Neru...and it was showing.

But that was not the reason reason he was leaving, he realised as he left the den, heading for a spot off in the grasslands that made up Mufalfa's territory...a spot that held immense significance for him, and a place he knew he had to see for himself, at least one more time. He was heading for the spot where his parents, and his unborn sister, had been killed.

[oXButterflyKissesXo]

"Tanga" she exclaimed, but drew her head back as she realized her tone of voice was loud and begging for him to come back. "Tanga, please wait" she said a little softer this time. She hopped out of the den and ran over to him, her small form coming up beside him and she looked up to his blue hues.

"I'm not mad at you! I'm not" she tried to explain to him. She knew he would never do her harm. The creamy lioness put her head under his chin and nuzzled his mane with a light purr, and then looked back up at him, "okay?"

[AustralianChaos]

Tanga stopped as he heard Imani's voice. His first instinct was to run away, to avoid having his guilt confirmed in that horrifyingly final way. But as Imani's call came to him a second time, he actually stopped, looking over his shoulder as she chased after him. He just could not bring himself to disobey a request from her. He might have hurt her...but he had never meant to, and he still loved her.

When she said she was not mad at him, he paused. Does she really mean that? he asked himself. He found his answer when she nuzzled his chin and neck, purring. Once again, his heart stopped and melted all at once, and he could have sworn time had just stopped. Everything felt surreal, and in Tanga's mind, nothing else seemed to exist in that moment except the two of them.

"Really?" he asked, although he could tell by Imani's actions what the answer was. He even managed to nuzzle her back slightly, ignoring the aches from his neck. "I'm still sorry, though," he continued. "I forgot Neru was there, and I should have known that was going to happen."

Then Tanga's mind drifted from Imani's panic attack upon seeing Neru's body, to the tender moment they ad shared afterwards, and his heart started up again, beating a million miles an hour. He pulled back from Imani's embrace, sitting down in the grass and shifting his paws nervously. Did he? Could he really bring up his feelings, since she seemed to be returning them?

"Imani...about..." he sighed, forcing himself to move on. "...About what happened, after that. I...uh..." he tore his gaze away from Imani's violet eyes, and her beautiful form, and looked at his jittery paws, finding himself clamming up. His hopes, dreams, worries and fears were all mixing and clashing, fighting for dominance in his mind, rendering him mute as he waited for Imani to catch on to where he was heading. "You see...uh..." He tried, and failed, once more, to articulate his feelings, before staring at the ground once more, looking so much like Imani often did when they were first getting to know each other.

[oXButterflyKissesXo]

Imani pulled her paw off the ground and put it on his paw that he was looking at. Hoping it would bring his head up to look at her she kept her purple eyes on him, and waited for the right words to come to her mouth. She figured she might as well say them while they were here and didn't run off before she could tell him, "I know what I am to you, and I'm happy to at least be your friend" she spoke gravely. She hated to admit it to herself, and say it out loud that he could only love her like a friend and possibly like his sister that apparently looked so much like her.

Pulling her paw away from his, she got back to her fours and looked into his eyes, "so, don't worry about it. It's all good" she spoke with a light smile. Thank goodness she was a good actress or he would have been able to read her clearly that she was hurting every time she thought about how she was never going to be anything more to the lion in front of her. The eyes of Imani were drawn to Auni who seemed to be the stand-by in the situation and she looked back at Tanga. "I'll...I'll be back in a bit" she said, and before he could speak she had turned foot and was already shooting across the plains at a fast speed. She hoped the wind would whip the tears away from her face, but she knew they were going to be glued to her cheeks with her luck.

She slowed down and gasped for air while she let out little sounds of sadness. The tears fell onto the long blades of grass and paws. Pulling her head up and looking out to the lands ahead of her, she sniffed to herself and walked on to explore the day around her. It was far too early in the day for her to be so depressed and she figured it had to have been a crime. The pain she was feeling her throat was stinging her more than her eyes were, and her stomach was in more knots than it ever was before. But what was the cause of all this? She knew she liked Tanga, but did she...love? She never knew what it was like to love a lion who wasn't her sister or parents.