by Regulus » October 9th, 2015, 2:25 pm
My most embarrassing moment is probably too inappropriate for me to post here, so I'll go with one I remembered just recently. It was 8th grade, first period band class. Keep in mind this was early in the morning, slightly cold outside, and I had just gotten to class. I set up my instrument and sat down to listen to the morning announcements over the intercom. I was a little sick, but I went to school anyway. I didn't want to be bombarded with make-up work. It seemed like it was the logical decision to make at the time.
So, my sinuses were a little plugged up. I suffered through it for a while, but then came the time we actually had to play our instruments. After a few coughs and many sniffles, I started playing my clarinet just fine. It was a bit difficult because I couldn't breathe freely through my nose as I normally did, but I managed.
But then, in the middle of practice, in the middle of whatever song we were playing, no less, I felt a tickle in my nose. My breathing shorted out and I had to stop playing. I stood still in my seat, pretending everything was normal. Then, with my clarinet still between my lips, I let out a gargantuan sneeze. Because my mouth was closed, mucous flew from my nose in enormous quantities and got all over my mouth, chin, and shirt. I remained dumbfounded for a few seconds, when I realized I had just coated myself in snot in the middle of a song.
Some of the other students looked at me and I lost it. I went to the back room to hide for a few minutes while I cleaned myself with the tissues I had in my pocket. My band teacher never said anything, but I know he had the best view of my little incident.
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Here's another story I have to tell. When I was younger, I used to eat these frozen burritos that would give me the farts. That wasn't so bad, but sometimes it wasn't just dirty air that escaped. Long story short, every time I ate a burrito, I had to change my underwear that night.
At the age of no more than eight or nine, I never did my own laundry. I also didn't want my mom to see my dirty pants, so I had this ingenious plan. Every time this happened, I hid my underwear behind my furniture... "for later." Like a squirrel hiding his nuts in the ground, I thought it'd work just fine.
And it did, for a while. My parents kept feeding me those burritos from hell, so it kept happening. One day, though--after almost a year--my mom found my dirty underwear stash. And let me tell you, that was one of the most embarrassing moments I've had.