Learning german a bit of help?

[Neon]

Well I decided to try translating a vid for practising my german and I need someone to help to correct anything that went wrong. With that I hope to understand to words better.
http://s730.photobucket.com/albums/ww30 ... rman-1.flv

[SimbasMate]

I know that SinChei can help you. He is German, and knows a lot.

[Neon]

Thanks can I see his profile to pm him .
After I get better in german I will upload TLK 3 in Korean,Thai,Chinese and Malay

[Mike]

Very far away I wish to be so gladly is phrased awkwardly. Even though that's the order of the words in german, english should be more like I really want to be very far away

I will not be controlled works for sure, but I think the german "will" is closer to "want" so I do not want to be controlled.
for the next two sentences in english you don't have to repeat "want/will" unless you're starting a new sentence, so continue with I don't want obligations/responsabilities, I want to be free,(responsabilities works better if can translate Zwang that way)I don't want to be washed, brushed, combed, or gently bathed.

I will eventually be free again, I think "want" works better here, but "eventually" isn't the best translation in this situation. Instead go for I want to be free someday

free to go full speed throughout the country is perfect as-is, but you can also use the english "land" free to go at full speed throughout the land. The original version is fine though.

What I should not here? noch translates to "still" which would make the translation Why am I still here?, the english essence of the two lines being "there's no fun here, why haven't I already left?"

nur rumflegeln I'm not sure about. It seems to mean "only a lazy place" like you said, but in that context it's awkward. Maybe Sinchei can help me out on that one.

Freedom is that goal would be Freedom is my goal

"verschlafe" is more powerful than "schlafe" so honestly I don't see a better translation of that line than the original I will not sleep my life away here

fragrances should be plural

I want the beautiful flowers from the flowerbed leaves out "reissen" which is to tear or destroy, so I want to rip the beautiful flowers out of the flowerbed

*see comments from last time this passage came up*

For me freedom is the goal is literally right, but doesn't quite work in english. I'd replace it with Freedom is my goal or For me freedom is the most important thing. The second one takes a creative translation, but lets you keep the same structure.

Hope that helped =D

[Neon]

Gee thanks Mike. I should improve on my english too.
One day I will translate TLK 3 in chinese for you guys
[quote]free to go full speed throughout the country is perfect as-is, but you can also use the english "land" free to go at full speed throughout the land. The original version is fine though.[/quote]
But Lande is spelled with capital letters so shouldn't it be a noun or is my english too poor.


And also the bad part is I;m not sure if I got the german words right in the first place. Some I guessed like rumflegn

[Mike]

maybe Sin can help us out with that lol, and yes, the english world "land" is a noun in this case =) so it works. Glad I can help!

[Neon]

I'm not very good with the english grammar rules. But I have to learn it.

[Mike]

just takes time lol

[Neon]

Yeah I get what you mean. I'm good in malay and chinese but my germanic languages suck.

[SinChei]

Ok were you guys are xD lol


((nur rumflegeln)) having fun