Married or Not?

[VitanisMate]

Nope.

[Cdot]

Not married

[ScarHades]

Unmarried.

[Si-Amber]

Not married and unlikely to ever bed.

[MooLion]

Not married and never been overly keen on the idea (already I have such woes as, if I ever did get married, who the hell would I even invite?) ... although much prefer the idea to having kids! I keep thinking of marriage as something older people do... and now I am kind of at the age when a lot of people are getting married, so it's a little strange...

[Buffy]

I am unmarried and I don't see myself getting married anytime soon. Although, I hope it happens someday.

[Tsuki]

Not married....yet

[FlipMode]

[quote="Spike"]Not married and unlikely to ever bed.[/quote]
lol


And as for myself, nope.avi and marriage is a "take it or leave it" thing for me. Because well, look at the divorce rate. 42% in the UK and even higher than that in the US I believe... That just less than half. You got to think about why that figure is as high as it is: because humans are designed to want to breed and pass on their DNA (because it's the only thing that stays on Earth when we are gone), but who wants to stay with ONE person the rest of their life beyond that? I mean how damn boring is that idea? A good percentage of the people who ARE still in a happy relationship beyond marriage, that is very exceptional. Most people when the kids grow up and start moving out with their life etc, the couple are left with each other and they barely even know each other by this point, thus divorce.

People make such a big deal about finding "that special one" but the thing is they get married and then end up being "that old married couple" who are just constantly nagging each other and just literally putting up with each other by that point. They are sitting in a cafe with the noses in their newspapers, not saying a word until the waiter comes over.
That's reality, it's what happens if you stay with one person your whole life. What's life if you're not having fun? That's why you need to leave relationships you are no longer happy in and unfortunately by the time kids have grown, the couple are no longer in that happy relationship and so they have no choice but to move on. Nothing is supposed to last forever.
The media has brainwashed people into thinking they should look for that special someone when the thing is... If you really think about it, that's incredibly limiting to your life. The more relationships you have, the more friends you make etc. The more fulfilling your life will have been when it's over, I think it's delusional to believe that you NEED to be in a happy relationship with one person for the rest of your life.

How do I know this? Because guess what I did...?!
I was seeing my girlfriend for about a year, we were hanging out, having fun and having sexy time together, it was sweet. She was everything I thought I wanted in a girl, into videogames... That's about it
Nah but y'know she was just, I had "that feeling" about her, we just got on really well, all our values were aligned and it just felt like the Earth had conspired to put me with her. Then we moved out together and that was cool for a while but then it hit me... Holy crap, I'm going to be spending my entire life with this person. I still haven't lived my life yet. And so I left her. Turns out she was thinking the same, because it's just the way people are designed to be.
This happens wayyyyyyy more often than people think and it's natural. One moment they are in a relationship and then the next, they're not. We're simply not designed to be with one person the rest of our lives. For a long time, sure but for life? Eh.
When something stops evolving and growing in nature, it dies. That's something to think about since humans are a part of nature so if we stop evolving our lives and moving onto new experiences, our lives are pretty much over then. The term mid life crisis exists for a reason.

Once I learned to be okay with that stuff, marriage was no longer a priority for me. I truly believe that if you have kids before marriage then it might be a good idea NOT to get married, otherwise your kids end up hating you when one day you leave the relationship and want a divorce when it's human nature to want new things.

So yeah. One day. But not this day. Not until I am CONVINCED I have found someone I want to spend the remainder of my life with. So the older I get, the more likely I will be to want to get married but I'm not planning it really.
If you need any more proof, just go back one page of this thread, several people on there thought they found their one, none of them are together anymore to my knowledge.

[The Spirit of Life]

Unmarried, and not planning on it any time soon. People I know think I'm weird, but I have a ton of other personal goals (career, house, travelling, pursuing hobbies and sports) that I want to focus on for a long time before I even consider the possibility of tying the proverbial knot.

[MooLion]

In ways I do agree with you, Flip. It's one of those things I have had a deeper think upon, going right back to when we were cavemen with our basic needs, etc. Annoyingly, my mind's done one of its usual blanks and I can't recall my exact theory on the matter now, but basically it was about humans not necessarily being designed to stay with one person, etc., as you say.

Ideally, of course most of us - myself included - would like to find 'the one' they can really, contentedly spend the rest of their life with. I wish this could be more the case now as it was decades ago - alas it's not. Those who can make it work, though - brilliant! I just wish some people wouldn't rush into marriage so divorce an' all that crap can still be avoided best as it can. Every time someone announces they're getting married I do think to myself 'I wonder how long that'll last', and any celebrity marriage there's near no doubt that they'll be divorcing in a few years! Give it time, live with the person for over a year, really get an idea of what they're like. Even if it is good, sure there's still the risk of disinterest a few years later. In that way then living with someone but not having the strings of marriage sounds like a freer idea.

So I think there is something in humans where they aren't designed to stick with one person, however it can work because the idea of marriage has been around a long time. It shouldn't be forced on people as a thing that really should be done. It would save some people a lot of hassle and enable them to live their lives a bit more. I am rather pro-marriage, again in the idealist sense (my, erm, nearest example of a marriage situation is a big reason to be not so 'yay' about long-term marriage : /), but yeah...

There's my idealist, realist and pessimistic views mixing again.

---

Anyone else think that saying 'not married' is better than 'unmarried'? Apparently on some USA forms the status options are 'Married' or 'Unmarried'. Kind of makes it sound like not being married is a bad thing! What's wrong with 'single'!

Anyway, I'll pipe down now.