What are you thinking RIGHT NOW?

[Marizzle]

I need to get to bed soon, or my dad will get mad...

[FireAndSun]

Driving for several hours in one day is not fun at all.

[Marizzle]

Almost Adults has finished screening? OMG, yesh! I can't wait for the spoilers to be all over Twitter!

[The Spirit of Life]

This humidity ... wow.

[Carl]

[spoiler=feel free to ignore]I honestly don't think this is worth it. I seem to have gotten sick on top of everything else and I can't bring myself to even like the prospect of having money like this. I don't seem to find joy in anything at all anymore, and it's only been a little over a week. Things weren't great to begin with, but now I feel even worse and don't have the energy to do things I enjoy when I've got the time.

I don't know what to do. Staying risks my health, both physical and mental, but leaving gives me an even worse work history which means there'd be an even lower chance of me ever getting a decent job, but I still can't feel this foot at all.

Look at this failure, can't do what he trained to do because, well that would make things too easy, and can't do regular people jobs either.

I guess my sister was always right about me. I am weak and pathetic.[/spoiler]

[Leviara_Lioness]

[quote="Killjoy Dixon"][spoiler=feel free to ignore]I honestly don't think this is worth it. I seem to have gotten sick on top of everything else and I can't bring myself to even like the prospect of having money like this. I don't seem to find joy in anything at all anymore, and it's only been a little over a week. Things weren't great to begin with, but now I feel even worse and don't have the energy to do things I enjoy when I've got the time.

I don't know what to do. Staying risks my health, both physical and mental, but leaving gives me an even worse work history which means there'd be an even lower chance of me ever getting a decent job, but I still can't feel this foot at all.

Look at this failure, can't do what he trained to do because, well that would make things too easy, and can't do regular people jobs either.

I guess my sister was always right about me. I am weak and pathetic.[/spoiler][/quote]

@Dixon, Ok Dixon Bro, I wana help, but I'll do the best I can...Ok, for Starters, YOU ARE NOT Weak or Pathetic, just cause you have shortcomings does not make you useless, or Weak, or Pathetic! You are VERY Wanted, LOVED and NEEDED and LOVED!! Here at MLK Especially, You've done allot for me and others, here!

You Cannot Let what "Others" Think of you or Say About You, Dictate you Life or Future or Make you, You Will/Have to fight Back, and say, NO You're Negative Words Do NOT Dictate Who I Am Or Will Be, Ever, You're Not God, You have No Control of Me!!
I Think you are definitely depressed, I Get like this too on and off, but I Will Keep you in My thoughts and Prayers, I'll let my Daddy Lion know too, as so he can keep you in Prayer and thought!
But Dixon, trust me, I know things can seem out of control, or even hopeless, but there Not, You Cannot believe that for you're self!
My Daddy Lion had a saying, (What you Say, Is What You Get) So I know You Can SAY Better for you're self, you know it too You Can do Better than this, You're Smart, Bright and Really Witty/Sharp, You are Capable of More than you Know!!
I Love You, I'm you're Sis , I know this Depressing and kinda overwhelming sometimes hopeless feeling Will Pass! Dont Let it Get to You, or the Words of Others, Fight Back and Say, You're Words are All That It Is, (Words) They have NO Power Over me, or My Life!!
Dixon Bro, You Are in Control Of you Mind!! It Does Not Control You!! Others Dont Control You, You are In Control Of YOU! ***huggs tight** Well I hope this Helped Bro Dixon! I'm here for yah Lovy Bro **huggs tight**

As for me I'm thinking it was a LOng Day of Moving Chores! Loved the Rainy Weather though, cannot complain 50 Days till were Home in Jerusalem Israel !

[Carl]

^ Thanks, Levi, that's kind of you. I really wish it were that simple though. It's not words that are bothering me.
[spoiler]The problem is I know I deserve better and I know my strengths and weaknesses and I know what I need to do, but it's just not possible. There's nothing even remotely like what I can and should be doing in my town as far as I've found and my family is too poor for me to work out of town and I can't find work online either. I know I can and should be successful, I don't even want much out of life to be honest, but there's just nothing here. It's out of my control in so many ways. Once you add to that how miserable and uncomfortable and in pain my body makes me on any given normal day and the fact that I went to college to avoid exactly what I'm now having to do and instead ended up seriously in debt and doing it anyway... well what is there to be happy about? Yeah I get money now, but my back and legs are too sore for me to do anything active that I enjoy and my hands hurt too much for me to do any reading/art/gaming/etc. Even as a person who's always had financial troubles I don't think having money really means anything if you're completely and totally miserable.

It's not about what others think of me. It's about this crappy job being the only one I've even been interviewed for in months and is equal to or better than all the other options and without work I'll never be able to afford things I need to, but I'm physically unable to do this job that normal people can do for more than a couple of hours. I had hope, even earlier today, before things got bad, that this would be something that I could stick with and learn to tolerate, but they're seriously breaking the law by not giving breaks to people who work 8 hours and working that long has left me with a serious problem all this time later. (My foot has now been numb since 5 hours into my shift (meaning about 11 hours now); as a result I can barely walk, and my other leg is getting more and more sore as it struggles to support my weight with very little help.)

I should be wearing a fancy suit and typing for 8 hours a day, with an actual lunch break, like I trained to do. I should be able to do stuff I enjoy when I've got time off. I should have something good. I belong around books or data--not in a greasy dish room on my feet with this bad knee. With there being so few options around here, though, I'm at a total loss as to what to do. Especially since my folks are having trouble with the bills. I'm so tired of not being able to help. I'm so tired of disappointing my family and, more importantly, myself.

I've been depressed before, and I am absolutely miserable right now, but I'm not depressed at this moment, I'm just really angry and frustrated and disappointed. I know I'm not worthless. I know I'm good at some things and I know that there's somewhere out there a job I could be at least comfortable doing. I just have no clue where to find it or how to proceed since I've had no luck in the past five months. [/spoiler]

[Shadowfax]

@Julius
[spoiler]^ I'm not meaning this is a malicious way, but I think the reason you are feeling like this is because you've not worked physically for a long while. My brother was the same. He got a job two years after being unemployed and for the first two weeks he felt exhausted, all his muscles felt like they'd been pulled, he wasn't sleeping, his hands were constantly sore and he was ready to leave as his anxiety was starting to flare up.

He's been there four months now and he's doing really well. Not only has he been promoted to a full time stock assistant, he no longer comes home feeling anxious, worried or sore. Once he got his first pay cheque it was a big boost because he finally had money again. It's not the best job in the world, but he had money and buying things and doing things with the money he earned himself made him stick at it. He's happy there now.

I know you feel crap, but maybe stick it out for a month and re-assess how you feel then? It's easy to go into a new job and br like 'Omg, I hate this... I need to leave ' I've felt like that about two of my jobs in the past. I've worked at subway and an insurance company, both jobs I detested, but when I knew I was looking for something else and one day I'd no longer be there, it made it more manageable. So maybe look around still and have that in the back of your mind.

Like I've said before, my fiancé worked at a tip once and it's the worst job he's ever had. But he did what he had to do at the end of the day and was only there thee months till he found his new and current job.

But obviously, if it is really making you feel too awful and having aches and pains that won't go away, the Yeh, it probably would be best to quit. It might be worth explaining to your employers and letting them know that you're in a lot of pain physically at the moment so is it possible to take a break during your shift or maybe even reduce your hours whilst your adjusting to it.[/spoiler]

Great, I feel even worst today. I'll have to drug myself up on paracetamol. Bleh.

[Si-Amber]

^ Completely second all of this. It's also easier to find a better job when you are already employed. Most employers are put off by a lack of work history. Doing a "crap" job and sticking at it, shows that you are prepared to do what you need to do.

Also, hope you feel better soon Kay.

Talking of work and feeling tired after doing what you need to do, I've spent most of the last 24 hours in bed, exhausted from my stint of nights. Now that I've got some energy back, I think I'm going to get out and enjoy some of this sunshine while it lasts.

[Rollo]

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