The Sun Has Set On My Time Here. :(

[YFWE]

First of all, I really did mean to post something here before and I hope you're not gone for good by now. It just took a lot to get out what I really meant and in the right words, and being the occasional perfectionist that I am, especially with emotional conversations and/or goodbyes, I couldn't finish everything until now. Once again, I hope I didn't miss you.

If you can believe it, I think you were one of the first members of the TLK fandom that I can remember meeting. I can't recall if you were here when I joined, but I do know you were over at TLKPF and were one of the first to give me some fanfic feedback. As others have for some reason, I made the initial mistake of thinking you were a girl; I really don't know why considering that I would need only look at your name and subsequently your profile for the answer to that. Nonetheless, I think I had that false notion until that summer.

I don't think we even started talking much until last November, which is when I started coming to MLK more often. I'm glad I did for a multitude of reasons, you being one of them. When I came back, I think I had zero friends; after all, it's very hard for me to make friends to begin with. You know this best with me rarely IMing you first on MSN. Personal issues. Regardless, you were one of the first to make me feel welcomed here, and I think that was due largely, once again, to the fanfic feedback and your almost embarrassing praise. (That's not your fault, by the way; I just tend to get embarrassed at any sort of praise or undivided attention that I don't feel I necessarily deserve!) Then you were seemingly in the chatbox more often, and since I don't have much of a life, I was in there often as well. You started calling me Balto because of my avatar and I was thinking it was pretty cool to actually HAVE a nickname for once, even if that one didn't stick as much as the others I currently have did. Not complaining, but it was a nice gesture.

I'll never forget the first time we were on Skype... it was with a big group of you, Mike, Zach, myself and SM2.0, and I was absolutely scared to death given that it was my first time invited into something like that and I really didn't know what to say. In fact, I think I was saying so little that Zach just wanted to drop me... then again, I think I was transcribing some interview that night too, which undoubtedly did not help matters. Nonetheless, you helped me feel welcomed rather quickly in there, even if I was still quite timid at first. Thanks so much for continuing to invite me to those, and same to Mike and Zach... without that, I definitely would not be as close with y'all nor would I feel as wanted here. Coupled with the fact that you seemed to want to continue to interact with me both on and off the forum, I was feeling pretty good about myself by then.

Frankly, I'm very sad it all had to (somewhat) end this way, at least on this forum. I think frustrated might have even been the better word at times. I thought and said some things that I didn't necessarily mean or ever want to say, but this was purely out of frustration due to... I guess, the way this was gone about. Of course, I'm over it by now. I think part of me was just also hopeful that perhaps things would change drastically enough that in the end you would decide to stay once you hit the rank. It's wishful thinking, but that's kind of what I tend to do a lot. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, though it did lead to me taking longer to get over this and accept it. Now, I'm at least accepting of the fact that no longer can I speak with you, RP with you, et cetera on this forum, though it's still quite disappointing to me. That said, I would never want someone to be forced to stay in a place if their heart was not in it. If you're unhappy, there's no reason to continue to feed that fire. As much as I do hate to say it, you're right, this is for the best.

Thanks for everything, though. Thanks for being a huge inspiration and muse for my fanfic writing first and foremost; I'll be sure to shoot you a link to any future stories/updates I make on Fanfiction.net pertaining to TLK if you so desire, especially given that you claimed you were very much into Wokovu! If not for you, I wouldn't have gotten into RPing either. I was able to win the forum vote for Best RPer basically doing nothing more than our RP, so I think that speaks a lot about your ability as well. Not that anyone need doubt your ability in that regard; when it comes to RPing, you're the only person I've ever been truly envious of. You're so great at coming up with even the simplest of ideas pertaining to the fandom, canon or not. You're a master at dialogue (save for perhaps the overuse of certain words, such as any variant on the word 'friend,' but hey, none of us are perfect, eh?) and generally keep your posts clean of major errors, which is always a breath of fresh air in all regards. It was an honor to not only start an RP with you but to get it as far as we did. Luckily, the archives here go back pretty far so if there is ever an opportunity to bring it back... well, we'll know where to find it, right?

Honestly, just keep doing what you've been doing from here. Keep making AMVs, if it brings you happiness. Keep writing. Keep RPing if you find an outlet. I think you have the ability to touch a lot of people with those mediums. I recall once, during your major nerdgasm over COTP, mentioning that it would be cool to write something like that yourself, perhaps even with me as a co-writer. I don't doubt your ability; I think that if you ever get the inspiration and a good storyline, run with it. Maybe in ten years, your story will be the epic fanfiction everyone's talking about in communities such as these. I would not put it past you.

It may be a lot to ask given you're the one leaving instead of me, but please, please continue to send things my way, be it on MSN, Skype, or whatever. Like I've said many times before, you know how I can be with being too anxious or afraid to IM people and make the first move; I hope you'll always remember that and know that if we go through a long period without speaking, it's never going to be because I dislike you or think anything less of you. You're the type of person I really do want to keep in contact with, even if I'm difficult to hold a conversation with.

There's probably much more I want to and could say, but I'm out of ideas for now, I have to go operate some overly large scissors, and I've already written nearly as long an essay as you did, which is probably not good considering that it's YOUR thread and not mine. So in closing:

1) Keep being yoself
2) Get on Skype and MSN as much as you can
3) It's "disdain," not "distain"
4) Thanks for being one of the best people I've met on the internet
5) Look out for killer sponges

Really, thanks for everything.

[Czarine]

Although I didn't really get to know you well, I wish you a great time away from this forum. I hope that all the problems and stress you hoped to resolve by leaving, will eventually be resolved. Take care.

[Panda-chan]

Meh, I'm a coward. A weak, spineless coward. Yeh..no one was expecting this lol. I actually have a lot to say so I'll spare everyone the rest of my rambling and enclose it in these spoiler tags. The tl;dr version is below lol

Spoiler: show

The truth is, I miss having you as a friend KM . Our random jokes in the chatbox, and the odd stuff you used to teach me, etc. Believe me, I'm not the hateful, traitorous type of person you've probably made me out to be. The guilt I feel is literally ripping me apart right now o.0 I know a few people that will hate me for writing this, and many more that hate me anyway, but idgaf. I know no one really cares.. and your closest friends hate me because I know I'm one of the main reasons you left, but let me just let me say my piece before I make a total idiot of myself.
Having read your side of the story, I can see where the rift in our friendship started to take place. Let's face it - I never really agreed with many of the decisions you made as mod. But the thing that irritated me the most was the final warning you issued to me. I realize you were only doing this because you wanted to do your job right, but I guess I took it a lot more personally. I felt like I had been betrayed, thinking you had gone mad with power with your new staff position. So from that day onward, my resentment toward you just grew and grew. I began to feel a need for revenge. Hatred is bad, I know..
As the days went by, my anger swelled. And the more angry I felt, the more I began to notice the many changes you were making that I didn't agree with at all. When I was finally let back, I felt like I had earned a big victory against you. I thought the reason you took a week-long hiatus from MLK was precisely because I was let back, confirming my theory that you had warned me just to get rid of me.
Long story short, there were some real misunderstandings here lol. I know you don't believe in second chances (heck, I've had more than just 2 chances here). Don't feel obligated to read this, and don't feel any need to accept my lameass apologies. I just needed to get this crap off my chest. Anyway, if you want to talk or something, you know where to contact me... o.0 Otherwise I suppose we could just split ways.

See you around,
Panda

TL;DR: I forgive you, I'm sorry, I want to be friends again. xD

[Lauren]

I can't believe that you're not going to be on here anymore! It's so upsetting. At least that we are still in contact on YT. We close friends as well.

[SophieCub]

[quote="SimbasMate1"]I can't believe that you're not going to be on here anymore! It's so upsetting. At least that we are still in contact on YT. We close friends as well. [/quote]

She left MLK a few months ago, sorry

[KopsTheTerminator]

[quote="SimbaCub"][quote="SimbasMate1"]I can't believe that you're not going to be on here anymore! It's so upsetting. At least that we are still in contact on YT. We close friends as well. [/quote]

She left MLK a few months ago, sorry[/quote]


KM is a he. Hence 'KiarasMate', not 'KovusMate'.

[TheRoguePrince]

Actually left before I got here, so I don't know what to say about this, except...Why?

[Panda-chan]

THIS THREAD IS ANCIENT AND SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DUG UP. MOVE ALONG PLZ.

[TheRoguePrince]

awww...TPAM, why so angry?

[SophieCub]

[quote="Kopa23"][quote="SimbaCub"][quote="SimbasMate1"]I can't believe that you're not going to be on here anymore! It's so upsetting. At least that we are still in contact on YT. We close friends as well. [/quote]

She left MLK a few months ago, sorry[/quote]


KM is a he. Hence 'KiarasMate', not 'KovusMate'. [/quote]

Typing error xD