okay this might shock you.. or not.. advice plz :P

[thanigraphics]

okay all of you know Thani and I are in a relationship. We are happy together for over a year.
Thani's foster mum knows about our relationship and I saw her once (he's not such a family man)
I have a good bond with my parents and usually I am really open towards them. I almost have no secrets for them, the only thing is that they don't know I'm in a relationship with Thani.

Last week my mom came at my house to help with the kitten-care, and Thani was there. I introduced Thani as "a good friend" and they said hello to each other. From what I know, she was okay with him.

When I was in Koln last year, I was with Thani. I told my parents I did that trip on my own. I felt terrible for lying to them, because I hate lying. It eats me inside.

So I was planning to have a talk with my parents about Thani and me. I know my mom would faint if I told her I've been hiding a relationship for over a year, so what I'm planning to do is to tell her that I am very good friends with him and start to like him. I want to tell her that I want to take it easy (I'm not such a future planning person) and that we have same interests, very good conversations and Thani sure is a great person to share everything with.

Why would you hide a relationship, you might think. Well, Thani has no official job (which is no problem for me) and he has, as most of you know, a form of autism, which they might see (avoids eye contact, that kind of stuff)

So guys, I could use some serious advice here, you are my friends, I trust you, so does Thani. I hope nobody judges me for beeing un-open towards my parents.
I love my parents, they're great people and I didn't tell them because I didn't want them to get worried or angry.

[Ushujaa]

first off i would say being honest is usually the way to go when it comes to relationships and if your parents are considerate they will understand thani's job situation and i wouldn't think they might hold autism against him (you might want to let them know that he has autism [if he's comfortable with that])

I'm sure this will work itself out fine especially since you two really do love each other

[thanigraphics]

That's really sweet of you, Ushujaa, thanks for your advice. The problem is, my parents are kinda like Simba towards Kovu (yeah that turned out okay bad example lol)
I had a boyfriend with Aspergers before and they kinda had problems with his "exentric" behaviours, I also live in a small town and people are kinda judgy over here.. I am happy with Thani and I want to be with him. But I am afraid my parents would get angry and stuff.... It's really bothering me for a very long time..

[Azdgari]

Nobody will judge you for hiding it, I can understand, I certainly don't like filling my parents in on my relationships. xD

But sooner or later, they will find out, and I think it's very mature of you to be the one to tell them. I wouldn't feel too stressed about it, though. Your parents love you and want you to be happy, and Thani makes you happy. I'm sure they'll see that and give you two their blessing once they understand how much you mean to one another. =]

[thanigraphics]

yeah, but I fear it's going to be a long and hard way to go.. Thanks for the advice buddy!

[FlipMode]

[quote]I'm sure they'll see that and give you two their blessing once they understand how much you mean to one another. =][/quote]
Hmmm, it's not always like that though.

TG, I think autism and not having a job are neither good reasons for your parents not to like him or you being together. Seriosuly you could do much worse thant that ^^.

And furthermore, if it's bothering you then you should tell them: it won't go away if you don't. If you love him that much, it's going to come out sooner or later, they will atleast be better off hearing it from you... I will be perfectly honest here: I think you are blowing it out of proportion a bit, it sounds like a perfectly good relationship that your parents will be fine with but for some reason you have doubt to that.
No one likes introducing thier relationship to their parents, but they will not be against it, i'll tell you that for nothing .

[Buffy]

TG, I understand completely why you hid your relationship. I did when I was with KK, and I did it simply because my Dad is overprotective and I didn't want to stir up any drama. Also, my brother did the same as me and hid his relationship and only told us 2 days before he was going to propose to his girlfriend. But we all loved her. But as much as I understand you, I think you should tell your parents. It shouldn't matter how they feel, it only matters how you and Thani feel. Also, if they are uncomfortable in the beginning, they will probably come around eventually when they see that you really do love him and learn to accept that. However, I am not telling you what to do. Do what you feel is right.