Bullied Bus Monitor Story (Language warning!)

[TheBlackCatCrossing]

^So you are saying you should submit? Are you saying you shouldn't say anything and stand up for yourself? I have dealt with some very difficult people in my life, offline and online and lemme tell you, tell them to STFU (without getting physical) helped me regain my sense of pride. I am not saying retaliate and I agree that violence is never the answer but to not respond is just......no. There were times I wish I had said something even if I might have gotten in trouble. There were also times I did respond back (and I did get in trouble) and you know what? I don't regret anything.

[DGFone]

As harsh and contrary to modern thinking it is, some people only react to violence. If they bully you, sometimes the only option is to fight back and prove that you are not a push-over. If you can show the bullies that it's not worthwhile and fun to bully you around, they will stop. And if you have to punch back to do so, you should be able to.

[Woeler]

[quote="TheBlackCatCrossing"]^So you are saying you should submit? Are you saying you shouldn't say anything and stand up for yourself? I have dealt with some very difficult people in my life, offline and online and lemme tell you, tell them to STFU (without getting physical) helped me regain my sense of pride. I am not saying retaliate and I agree that violence is never the answer but to not respond is just......no. There were times I wish I had said something even if I might have gotten in trouble. There were also times I did respond back (and I did get in trouble) and you know what? I don't regret anything.[/quote]

1. if she punches these kids she's gonna have problems with the police, you can't just punch kids.
2. I don't see a woman as old as her punch all those kids. The group is stronger for sure.
3. She will definitely lose her job if she does punch them.
4. You can't just get kids to STFU when you have no authority (a job requirement for a schoolbus driver if you ask me)
5. Kthxbye

[TheBlackCatCrossing]

^It's this kind of attitude that allows for sociopathic behavior to flourish. Maybe I am old school but I have worked with kids so I think I am allowed to make some sort of judgement. I just think it's sad how some would rather defend the bully than stand up for yourself (or anyone else for that matter because that would be seen as making the situation worse). It was not like that before.

If a thief came into your house and tried to rob you, would you invite them in for tea and crumpets? No. You defend yourself. That is what bullies are: they rob you of your dignity and sense of self worth. You don't have to be aggressive to fight back. You cannot be passive and I see too much of this. I come into this thread and I am told you cannot "punch back" and then you cannot verbally tell them to knock it off. What is the victim supposed to do? The woman in this case got lucky but tell that to the parents of Phoebe Prince and Jamey Rodomeyer. In the latter's case, his bullies were harassing his sister about his death at a school social.

4. You can't just get kids to STFU when you have no authority (a job requirement for a schoolbus driver if you ask me)

You are an adult and you are letting kids have power over you. Really? Next you say as a SCHOOL bus driver she does not have the authority to tell the kids to knock it off? What is she supposed to do? As a school bus driver, as someone who works for the school, I DO think she has some authority to tell the kids to knock it off. I am sorry but I don't believe in molly coddling a bunch of "kids" when they are acting like sociopaths. The only sympathy I have is for their parents who got nasty calls and harassment because of THEIR kids behavior. That was uncalled for.

5. Kthxbye

Do you mind if I ask how old you are? If you cannot contribute to the conversation without being immature about it then maybe you shouldn't post. I don't agree with everyone here but at least they had the grace to say what they had to say without being passive aggressive.

If I offended anyone, I am sorry. This is a subject that is very sensitive to me and I cannot believe how careless some posters are. There was a period when I was stalked and it yes, it was made worse when I did respond back but in the end, I am glad I did it. Let's just say that there were times when I wish I had kept quiet and times when I wish that I had said something (EVEN IF I would have been reprimanded). It was very, very liberating.

ETA: I want to stress that while I firmly believe that if you are bullied and one should use whatever resources they can to defend themselves (whether it is firmly and verbally fighting back or hitting back), does not mean to do it continuously.

[Woeler]

[quote="TheBlackCatCrossing"]^It's this kind of attitude that allows for sociopathic behavior to flourish. Maybe I am old school but I have worked with kids so I think I am allowed to make some sort of judgement. I just think it's sad how some would rather defend the bully than stand up for yourself (or anyone else for that matter because that would be seen as making the situation worse). It was not like that before.[/quote]
I'm not defending the bullies. I'm saying that if she were to punch the children she is going to lose her job and probably go to jail. You know why? Because of the LAW. You can't just punch children, as long as they don't abuse you physically you can't either, and it's surely not self defense if she does it now. You can not just blame those children. People are not born with respect. If you don't teach them respect they won't have it. If you as an adult let those children get to you like that without taking action (like calling parents or the school) then you are just weak and afraid. That's also the reason these kids keep bullying her. For her to take action would be to take her phone and call the school/parents and tell what's happening. If you can't do that you're just really weak and I can say no more than: It's mostly your own fault.

[quote="TheBlackCatCrossing"]If a thief came into your house and tried to rob you, would you invite them in for tea and crumpets? No. You defend yourself. That is what bullies are: they rob you of your dignity and sense of self worth. You don't have to be aggressive to fight back. You cannot be passive and I see too much of this. I come into this thread and I am told you cannot "punch back" and then you cannot verbally tell them to knock it off. What is the victim supposed to do? The woman in this case got lucky but tell that to the parents of Phoebe Prince and Jamey Rodomeyer. In the latter's case, his bullies were harassing his sister about his death at a school social.[/quote]
This would be a great, matching situation... if the robber was unarmed! The robber isn't unarmed in this case, because in this case the law is in favor of the robber. So lets compare the law with a gun. If the robber had a gun, Would you still attack him? Honestly, would you? Probably not because you rather have you TV stolen than your life. So in the end: You do something and you die AKA she does something and she's fired. (BTW really great these days to get fired in GREECE)


[quote="TheBlackCatCrossing"]You are an adult and you are letting kids have power over you. Really? Next you say as a SCHOOL bus driver she does not have the authority to tell the kids to knock it off? What is she supposed to do? As a school bus driver, as someone who works for the school, I DO think she has some authority to tell the kids to knock it off. I am sorry but I don't believe in molly coddling a bunch of "kids" when they are acting like sociopaths. The only sympathy I have is for their parents who got nasty calls and harassment because of THEIR kids behavior. That was uncalled for.[/quote]
Maybe I used the wrong word here. You can't have a schoolbusdriver with no self-esteem. Of course she can tell the kids to knock off, but does she? And do they listen? No. because they haven't been taught respect,and like I said people aren't born with respect.

[quote="TheBlackCatCrossing"]Do you mind if I ask how old you are? If you cannot contribute to the conversation without being immature about it then maybe you shouldn't post. I don't agree with everyone here but at least they had the grace to say what they had to say without being passive aggressive.[/quote]
So I'm an immature kid because I dare to add a little humour to my post? In a debate that's not called immature, that's called style. Maybe I shouldn't post? I don't care what people think of me because of my opinion. I honestly don't. I also really don't care about how other people think about what I'm saying. If I wanted to be aggressive I would have cursed, which btw would be immature, which I'm sure I'm not.

[quote="TheBlackCatCrossing"]I cannot believe how careless some posters are.[/quote]
It's called: being realistic. Life doesn't work because it should work. Life never works. Bullying is wrong, but that doesn't mean that it shouldn't exist, because this utopia where everyone lives in peace also doesn't exist. We are all bound to our human nature. There is an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our families and friends and why we don't give a crap about anyone else.

[Regulus]

My honest opinion: A grown woman should be able to take a few insults.

And before anyone tries to convince me how emotionally traumatic it can be to be bullied, I know. People called me names too. But I've always been enough of a man to let it go without it either bothering me, or escalating the conflict. I mean, who is the bigger dumbass, the guy that's calling another a dumbass, or the guy being called a dumbass?

[FlipMode]

[quote="Regulus"] I mean, who is the bigger dumbass, the guy that's calling another a dumbass, or the guy being called a dumbass?[/quote]

Depends if guy 1 has enough of a reason to call the other a dumbass.
I still think there is a pretty big difference between basic name calling like that and threatening to come round an old woman's house and making physical threats though...

[Azdgari]

[quote="Regulus"]My honest opinion: A grown woman should be able to take a few insults.

And before anyone tries to convince me how emotionally traumatic it can be to be bullied, I know. People called me names too. But I've always been enough of a man to let it go without it either bothering me, or escalating the conflict.[/quote]
For the win. Or you could tell the kids off. But getting physical escalates the problem in a serious way. I don't think it's justifiable.

@argument that some kids can only learn through violence: I forgot that kids who are beaten by their parents for bad behavior always turn out great. Wait...

[Regulus]

[quote="FlipMode"]Depends if guy 1 has enough of a reason to call the other a dumbass. [/quote]

But is there really ever a legitimate reason? I should probably shut up though, because I call people dumbasses all the time.

[quote="FlipMode"]I still think there is a pretty big difference between basic name calling like that and threatening to come round an old woman's house and making physical threats though...[/quote]

Yes, there is. One will get you in trouble with the cops, the other will not. That's just my philosophy. I know there's a bunch of evil, crazy people in the world. But, I've always been able to ignore threats rather easily. I know I'm naive, but I find it hard to believe that anyone would ever hurt me physically. If it happens, I'll be laughing while the other person is enjoying their stay in prison.

I survived 13 years of school without ever being intentionally hurt once. I was pushed out of the way a few times by random people in the hallways, and that bothered me for a little bit, but all I have to do is realize that it's their problem, and not mine.

[FlipMode]

Reg - Yeah there is a reason to sometimes. Although if I were trying to insult someone, I would go further than that. If a person does something or says something dumb, they will be called a dumbass. Also, I dont know about you but I was bullied once, and stood up for myself... It stopped the very next day and has never happened since. You apparently think its "their problem" and it continues to happen...

AZ - Although a kid being beaten by their own parents is quite another league to being beaten by someone their age they thought they would try and pick on. The former would have much more of an emotional / mental impact than simply picking a fight and loosing it.

I said it before, they picked her because she was the prime target, old and defenceless. I mean they are hardly going to be picking on some dude who was twice their size and had muscles on his muscles. The reason she did not stick up for herself is because she lacked the ability to do so, which is the whole concept of bullying. I would know how bullying works, I used to do it back when I was in school.

But that was not really the main focus of the thread, it was supposed to be about whether you agree on the funds being raised so high for such a scenario. Not whether or not you think an old defenceless bus assistant should have beaten up a load of school kids.... Its like you guys purposely LOOK for arguments to make sometimes, and then wonder why these kinds of threads get out of hand.